Would This Bother You ? - Boise,ID

Ok... If you were in her shoes, and the ex-wife, wouldn't you want to be able to have a civil conversation? Wouldn't you want to be able to just talk about stuff?

Some people it just doesn't work out being married, but they remain good friends AFTER the divorce.... which is a wonderful thing, especially where children are involved......

Also, think about what is best for his daughter......she needs to see a GOOD relationship between all of the adults involved in her life........ not enmity between her M. and dad.

I think he sets to set up some boundaries. I wouldn't be worried about what you've described, though.

Do you trust him? Yes? Then, why care? Be thankful they don't have a complicated relationship, that makes your life hell. No? You have bigger problems then her.

If you trust him and are still acting like this...well...insecurity and jealousy will drive him away from you. No, I would not be bugged by this. I trust my husband, and I'm not insecure.

I found the hospital story in your SWH very interesting. I'm sorry it bothered you that your husband laughed, but consider this. Was he really laughing at her? I'm wondering if he actually finds her drama to be pathetic and laughs because, well, it's just kind of sad.

It's very hard to tell from just a few stories, and you live it so you really would know. But it does seem like he ignores most of her behavior. If she wants to buy him a present or send cutsie texts or say ignorant things about you, she's just going to look like she's not over him and that's kind of pathetic. If he chuckles about it and humors her a little bit, then he most likely thinks her behavior is childish but wants to have a decent relationship with her. If that's the case, I would do my best to let it go. If he seems to feed off of her behavior, then that's another story and you might decide that this is something worth talking to him about.

Remember, he chose you! Doesn't really matter what she thinks.

okay - look - take a HUGE DEEP BREATH!!! Do you trust your husband? If the answer is yes. Drop it. Get over it. If the answer is no. Then you need to figure out what you are going to do.

Would you RATHER THEM FIGHT? Seriously? Would you rather them be at each other's throats in court or even in front of the kids?

I would much rather, if my husband had kids with his first wife, that they were talking and amicable instead of at each others throats.

To answer your question, no. It would NOT bug me. Because I TRUST MY HUSBAND. I would be THANKFUL that they got along.

You either love and trust your husband or you don't. There's no reason to worry about anything his ex wife says or does, it just makes you look jealous and immature and trust me, your husband will get sick of that pretty fast, it's really unattractive :(

Yes, you're being silly.

And paragraphs are your friends. :)

The FB tags would not bother me. The flirty texts would. Just being honest. I trust my husband, but this would make me uncomfortable. I'm not sure that I would say anything, but your question is whether or not it would bother me and it would.

AFTER READING YOUR SO WHAT HAPPENED:

Nothing happened.

A perfect example why people who marry and have children, should TRY harder to work their marriage out before taking on second wives/husbands/lovers on, and put the burden on their respective children and possible other children conceived, who will suffer for their parents inability to realize what the WORD commitment means.

If you get a divorce, put your kids first before anyone else.

Uh, yeah, no. My ex and I have found peace and DO get along for the sake of our three fantastic children together. And just because life is BETTER when you get along, right?

However, I have no interest in what he thinks of my hair cut, or whether he is aware his team is on.

So I guess, whether it would annoy me depends on how HE reacts to HER friendliness. Does it annoy him, too?

:)

I have family members that tag me in picture of others that they know I would like to see. So that by itself would not bother me.
But it looks like your husband needs to set some boundaries with the ex--especially since these things bother you.

Nope, would not bug me. I tag people in pictures of their kids - it's an easy way to post it to their wall. I have civil, even lighthearted conversations with my exes and so does my DH. And yes, we are facebook friends with exes and even occasionally message with them.

You biggest issue with his ex is your insecurity. Your jealousy fans whatever conflict is brewing between you and ex, she is probably getting quite a rile out of your overreaction to every little thing she does. You need to get your insecurity under control or you will drive your DH away. It sounds like you both have kids with previous partners.... so you understand that this woman will by in your DH's life for the rest of his life (yes, even after the daughter is all grown up...).
Once you gain your footing and stop being jealous of her, whatever jabs she makes will cease. Once she no longer gets a reaction from you, you will both be able to tolerate each other much better.
Good luck.

I think you're totally overreacting. Thank God that your husband and his ex have a good, healthy relationship as that is such an amazingly positive thing for their daughter. It seems that few people reach that level of maturity post-divorce, and it is honestly the best thing for the child. You come across soundind jealous of the ex. Bottom line is that they did NOT work as spouses and do not want to be together. However, they do have history and a child, and it's good for them to have a friendship. As far as gifts given to him that she says are from their daughter....well, they are from the daughter. His ex is making sure that his daughter honors him by giving gifts on special occasions, that's the polite, respectful thing to do. On the flip side, your husband should be making sure that their daughter is giving birthday, holiday and mother's day gifts to her mother. That's the respectful, polite thing to teach a child. As for the hospital, it wasn't important for his ex to be in you room with your baby; it was important that your child's half-sibling meet the baby. The ex was nice enough to bring the child to the hospital to allow the bonding time; don't complain about it. I guess that overall, I think all of this sounds petty and jealous when your husband and his ex should be congratulated for being able to have a good relationship that is healthy for their child.

Hell yeah that would bug me!!! lol My husband has an ex-wife and all I know is that if she said any of that cutsy flirty stuff to him, I'd be asking some questions too. You have a right too. Just ask him if the roles were reversed and your ex di that to you and you kind of flirted back, would he mind? That usually gets my husband to see the light. Good luck girl....

Your husband is not done with his ex-wife. I am so sorry for that. This isn't an issue of "whether or not" this would bother me...I'm fairly certain, from the way things sound, that they are still together, in a sense. I've never heard of such an amicable divorce with new marriages involved. If my husbands ex-wife gave him a CARD on his birthday from their child I would die of shock, much less an actual gift. I realize not all divorces are terrible, but they are either still very close friends or more. I think you are overlooking the huge picture and getting hung up on some texts about a haircut.

Again, I am sorry.

The FB tags wouldn't bother me. That's actually a good way to make sure that he only sees pictures of their daughter instead of him having to scour her page to find a picture that is actually relevant to him.

The texts would bug me, and the thing with the hospital would bug me. But I'd be more bothered by your husband's reaction than the ex-wife. I don't think it's any surprise that she dislikes you, but you need to feel that your husband has your back and makes sure that no one disrespects you. I get that your husband doesn't want to ratchet up the drama when dealing with his ex, but I think even just saying to you, "You're right, that sucks that she said that" would go a long way toward making you feel like it's not just you when she bugs you.

I know it puts you in a vunerable situation. Your husband doesnt like he starts these conversations. He is just being polite to his ex wife. He wants the relationship to be cordial and friendly. Plus they have a daughter together. Since she is already in your life could you be- friend her. Maybe she would sending you cute little texts also.

Personally, I don't think you're overreacting. IMO there is something going on here.

Either she is not over him or she is trying to cause problems between the two of you.

I don't really think there is anything you can do. If you say something to your hubby and he takes it to the ex, you have given her what she wants - a reaction and the idea that she may have caused a bump in your road.

I think it has to boil down to how much you trust your husband and how secure you are in your marriage. and don't doubt that at some point, the daughter is going to WANT to pick out the presents for dad and when she doesn't get to, she will be the one to speak up when dad opens one of those gifts saying "That's not from me; it's from my mom" because she will be disappointed that she DIDN'T get to pick the gift. Maybe then things will change; hopefully if she doesn't get the reaction she's looking for, it will change sooner.