21 answers

How Do You Feel About Pictures of Ex's on Your Husbands...

How do you ladies feel about pictures on your husbands facebook page? My husbands ex girlfriend tagged him in a picture from when they were together. I'm not going to lie it bugs me a bit. Wondering how other woman would feel about it. A part of me doesn't mind and realizes its just a picture from his past and doesn't mean anything. But the insecure part of me doesn't really like it.

Reply... She basically came out of nowhere and it's a picture with their arms around each other smiling. Granted its a picture from highschool so it was awhile ago but I know he loved her a lot and she cheated on him and really hurt him. But they weren't always friends on facebook, just within the year. He told me before he thought he was going to marry her. All of your confident answers surprisingly make me feel better though and less insecure. I admit I'm not very secure and it's something I need to work on. I recently had a baby so I just feel fat most of the time and not myself as I did last year so I let my jealousy get to me. This one girl he had dated when we were having some problems and we split up for a few months always writes things on his facebook and it bugs me a lot but its probably for no reason because he did marry me. Maybe I just need to check myself and realize whats important.

Mom2KCK, we have some issues in our marriage so he doesn't show me as much as I need him too. It would help a lot if he did.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I guess everybody has a different preference. It still kinda bugs me though.
To Stephanie, I wish I had his password so I could check but I don't. You are right though, when you have a hunch as a woman than something is up

Featured Answers

It wouldn't bug me.
That is me.
Ditto Jo W. below.

My Husband has FB and shows me whatever is on it.
No biggie.
He has a couple of Ex girlfriends on it. He told me. He shows me.
No biggie.
Because I trust him. And I know those other girls have their own lives.
And we do too.

The problem arises when, a person cannot realize they have a different life now. That was then, this is now.
Everyone has a past and past Ex's.
I had tons of Ex's and all kinds of relationships. They really don't affect me anymore.
It is just a past memory.
It is the past.
This is now.

Everyone has a past and different body shapes and lives.

4 moms found this helpful

Maybe he's only friends with her to show off how HAPPY he is with YOU now? I would do that if I had had any 'serious' ex's, lol

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I think the problem is in your last paragraph. You have issues and so the presence of photos ticks you off and makes you feel insecure, AND he isn't open and honest with you but instead hides things.

So the photos are not the problem. The lack of trust and other underlying issues are the problem.

I talk to the guy who took me to the big dance in high school, and we saw each other occasionally when he lived closer to me. And my husband has lunch a couple of times a year with a woman he dated in high school. Neither one of us has any problem with this because we have complete trust, we tell each other what's going on, and we're thrilled that the other has friendships where old times can be laughed about. However, neither of us has ever even been close to a moment of scandal or cheating or indiscretion.

You admit you are not feeling very secure, and it's not clear to me if your husband feels he's "protecting" you by not disclosing more, or if he's hiding something. Sounds like this woman came out of nowhere and friended him, then posted an old picture. If she doesn't have designs on him, great. If she does, they you and he together have to discuss it and see what the best way is to handle it. Maybe he should un-friend her if she's going to be a problem. But if this is just an on-line high school reunion, and if both your husband and she are happy in their separate lives, it's not a problem. If he's saying to her, "Oh, my wife and I looked at this photo and neither of us could believe how young I looked then" or "I'm not showing this to the baby or I'll scare her to death" then that's great. It lets her (and the world) know where his priorities are. If he's not talking about you or the baby on FB, and again, if he's not showing you things, that is a bigger issue.

I'd look at the deeper problems that make this photo a problem, not at the photo itself.

6 moms found this helpful

I wouldn't have a problem with it. He is my husband now, those pictures are of the events that shaped this wonderful man.

6 moms found this helpful

Don't care at all. My hubby had a life before me so pictures of that life turn up now and again.

5 moms found this helpful

I like to say it wouldn't bother me, but it might. He loved her. So that's got to be hard. But he loves you now. So in my view, does he make sure you know he loves you? You have no reason to think otherwise? If that's the case, let it go.

If that isn't the case, the issues are more than a picture and you should talk about it.

So yea, while it may bother me, I would talk to him about and know that it's okay, because I'm the one he loves.

4 moms found this helpful

It wouldn't bug me.
That is me.
Ditto Jo W. below.

My Husband has FB and shows me whatever is on it.
No biggie.
He has a couple of Ex girlfriends on it. He told me. He shows me.
No biggie.
Because I trust him. And I know those other girls have their own lives.
And we do too.

The problem arises when, a person cannot realize they have a different life now. That was then, this is now.
Everyone has a past and past Ex's.
I had tons of Ex's and all kinds of relationships. They really don't affect me anymore.
It is just a past memory.
It is the past.
This is now.

Everyone has a past and different body shapes and lives.

4 moms found this helpful

if she;s still an active friend it wouldnt bug M.. if it was a very serious relationship and she J. appeared out of nowhere it would bug M. a bit but because of her intentions not because of a photo.
It also depends how old the photos were
if they are from highschool -sure thats the past
if they are J. from a few years ago (meaning he hasnt aged much)- then i'd wonder why she is tagging him

Also what is the photo? a group shot, or J. them two hugging?
either way i wouldnt be upset with my significant other but if it seemed he was being very foward I would probably be bugged by her

3 moms found this helpful

Not only do my husband and I both have pictures of high school dates on our facebook pages, but I just took pictures of him with his high school flame at his 25th reunion. If he was corresponding regularly and sharing jokes and creating a present history, that would bother me. But it's past history, not present, and it's distant past.

2 moms found this helpful

My husband and I are friends with some of his old girlfriends, but I am the one he married. There are old photos of us on there with other friends from other times in our lives.. But we love each other and accept that we were not always together.

Your body is the way it is right now, because you have given life made from you and your husbands love. This is a beautiful and magical thing. Be proud of your body, whatever its condition, you have earned it.

I would consider as an enhancement to your marriage, the 2 of you go to marriage counseling. This was a great help to me and my husband. We learned how to speak and really listen to each other..your marriage is worth the effort.

2 moms found this helpful

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