Hi,
I have a situation that has occured and wanted to get some others opinion about how you would hsndle this. I have a very close friend, our kids are the same age, she watches my kids, I watch hers. Yesterday she needed me to watch her daughter, she brought her over, and almost instantly she got a runny nose. My son has had an on again off again fever for the last few days, I think he is cutting his 2 year molars. He does not have any other symtoms. Well I called this morning to see how her daughter is, and I got the impression that she was upset that her daughter is sick now, she said her husband asked why I did not tell her that my son was sick. Her husband and my husband are great friends also. I do not think my son is sick, I think it is his teeth, her daughter goes to pre-school, she might have caught something from there, who knows!? I mean I can play the "Blame Game" too, if I want to, I know with all the Swine Flu thing going around, it is scary, but I don't think it is fair to be treated like I got her daughter sick, bacause I did not tell her my son was running a low fever! What are your Mama's takes on this?
Thank you so much for everyone that responded to my question, but my friends daughter, litterally got a runny nose as soon as she walked through my door. Now, maybe she is allergic to something in my house, but, we have been friends for two years, spending atleast one day a week with each other. She knew that my son is teething, we went out to lunch that day, once she picked up her daughter! My son does not have any other flu symtoms, just fever and red ears, from his teeth coming through, her daughter, has fever, runny nose, saying her head hurts, and actually acting sick. Anyways, thanks for the advice!
You said that she got the runny nose at your house. There is an incubation time, and 5 mins is not long enough. She would have had this runny nose even if she did not come your house. Bottom line KIDS GET SICK. It is a fact of life. She might be having a bad day.
You could mention to her that she had a runny nose when she was at your house, so something probably was already working on her. The incubation period for a cold/flu is 10-12 hours to several days, so she actually could have picked something up from your son and exhibited symptoms already. But that's probably unlikely, and more likely she picked something up from pre-school or the grocery store or where ever. Some moms play the blame game. I guess you could mention that you think your son is not really sick, just cutting teeth but that you're sorry that her daughter is sick. If we all played the blame game every time our kids were sick, we'd all have no friends left. There's nothing really you can do about her concern though. I think I'd just let it blow over, and in the future make sure and let her know if you think your son could be sick so she can find somewhere else for her daughter to be.
Bobbie and Maureen are 100% correct -- there is an incubation period for any virus. In general (and this may not always hold true), the average incubation period for viruses is 3 days. So if your neighbor's daughter JUST started her runny nose on Thursday, she picked it up on Sun or Mon. Likewise, you should now watch your children for a runny nose in about 3 days.
Regarding the fever, I would have preferred to have known about your son's fever and been given the chance to make the decision of leaving my child with you myself. Nonetheless, your son's fever did not have any impact on that girl as of today! I hope you and your friend will mend things soon. Maybe you and she can sit down and talk about how each of you would like to handle these situations in the future.
Nice way to return the favor, huh? She's not being rational - you don't show symptoms instantly when you catch a virus. On the other hand, I do always tell people when there is a fever (my kids never ran fevers for teething, though.)
I would probably not do anything, but if I felt the urge to respond: "I apologize for not mentioning the fever. I didn't think anything of it because my son always has a fever when he has a tooth coming in, but I should have been more sensitive. It was not thoughtful of me and I will be more careful from now on. But - it's not possible to catch a virus in an hour. Most likely, whatever your daughter has, she brought to our house, not the other way around."
All I can say is that I do daycare and when a parent comes in with their kid and calmly (as if its totallY normal) tells me they just gave their kid motrin cause they had a fever when they got up, my attitude is, do you have any concern for the other kids here??? If a child has a fever they don't belong around other kids, regardless of the reason. Fever means something. Teething or no teething. Either way, they need their mom, not someone else watching them if they are running a fever.
Always tell someone if your child has a fever! Low or high fever should always be told. With that info the other parent gets to decide if they want their child around you r child at that time. This is one of my pet peeves! I hate not knowing if another child is sick or not. You should always tell with a fever, always!
Hmmm, perhaps your friend should have also mentioned that her child had a runny nose before dropping her off at your place.
You both should have mentioned the illnesses, but since neither did, you're even.
I agree, that there is an incubation period for viruses, so more likely she got the runny nose a few days earlier.
AS far as you letting her know about the fever and any other symptoms, I think you should have told her. Every time I get together with friends and family for visit or play date, we always warn each other about the kids' symptoms if any, so the other person can decide about getting together or cancelling....
