Timeframe Between babies...when You Thought You Were Done

My MIL had an "oops" at the age of 42. She already had four kids( 18,14,10, and 6- ages at time she found out she was pregnant)

She had thought she was starting early menopause and went to her doctor as she stopped having a period, lol. Well, she and my fil were shocked, surprised, but excited for their 5th. Her pregnancy was easy, and wonderful( according to her) Nick( the 5th) is now 22 and we call him " the golden child" because he really is a wonderful kid. He sings, acts, even dances. Will be graduating from college in May..

My MIL says while they had an oops, God had a plan.

My mom was 18 years younger than one sibling and 20 years younger than her other sibling....talk about a surprise!! She is the one that lived close and took care of my grandparents. (Personally I am very glad she was an oops, or I wouldn't be here!!)

My husband's favorite aunt was an oops...and once again she is the one that moved back home to help with aging and sick dad and now lives with her mom. She is the best of the lot.

My dad was a surprise third, my favorite aunt (by marriage) was a surprise third.

I know a lot of surprise babies that turned out to the biggest blessings to their families and life would be hard to imagine without them. Tell them congrats and 7/8 year difference will keep them young and that little one will be so loved by so many.

My brother turned 15 two days before I was born. It was awesome having an older brother like this. He went off to Vietnam when I was in elementary school so that was scary but he came home and has been an amazing big brother my whole life.

My sister was 11 1/2 when I was born. She is my rock and someone I can go to about lots of things.

Although....she was born in the 40's and I was born in the very very very late 50's we were born into different generations. She was raised to be a perfect housewife and homemaker. I was born into a time when women were burning bras and going to work was a right and pretty much required.

We're pretty different too. I'm LDS and she's Jehovah's Witness. So we do have some major differences. BUT we get along and love each other a lot.

I have friends with massive families. One of my dearest was one of 12. When I met her the oldest brother was married and had a baby on the way. The youngest was running around in diapers.

Another friend was pregnant with her next to last. She popped out that baby and when she got released the next day she went to the van, laid down in the back seat with the baby, and they drove her oldest boy across 5 states to drop him off at college. She said she'd have been laying around at home so there wasn't any difference laying in the back of the van.

One of the sweetest ladies I've ever met had 2 sons. Life was good, she and hubby were both gainfully employed as engineers in their chosen areas, and their boys were in high school. Then they joined our church. They decided to have more kids. On purpose. So they had 2 more kids. Their girl was born when the oldest was about to graduate then their boy was born when the next oldest boy was starting his first year of college.

In my opinion it doesn't make any difference to when the kids come. It matters if you don't mind having kids at that age and in those financial situations and stuff. There are millions of grandparents raising grandchildren in our country and I think they do an amazing job. So age does not matter. Situation and attitude matters.

Honestly all of my kids were oops babies and they're the joys of my life. I never mastered birth control LOL. In my defense, when I was going through gestational carrier surrogacy, they were surprised that I was still ovulating after 4 weeks of birth control pills and Lupron shots. It confirmed that I wasn't just a birth control idiot and really was super-fertile - it took many more weeks to shut down my cycle. Would have been good info to have with babies one, two and three...

Anyway...my biggest surprise was my youngest, who is the easiest and most delightful of my kids. I've often said he's like dessert - a sweet surprise who came at the end. My second son had just turned one and our other kids (son and step-daughter) were both seven. Our 2-bedroom house was filled to capacity, I had just started to travel for work, and was so happy with being "done" that got a 3-peas-in-a-pod necklace for my birthday and had given away my baby gear to a friend who was having twins. My then-husband scheduled a vasectomy but the doctor re-scheduled because they were double-booked. I was on the "mini pill" and got pregnant the night he was supposed to have had the big snip. Had the doc not re-scheduled, my youngest wouldn't be here. I can't imagine my life without him and am glad it happened!

theres a 16 year difference between my dad and uncle. for as long as i have been around to know they get along and do things for eachother.
my brother in law is 14 years younger than hubbs.. he was basically raised by his siblings and has a niece thats not quite a year younger than he is so he was pretty much a "grandkid" growing up .now that hes an adult he prefers to be around his cousins, niece and nephew that are close to his age.

My parents' friends had an "oops" baby, I remember it because I was old enough to hear about it when it happened. She is now a successful W., married with children of her own, who visits her parents with beautiful grandchildren on a frequent basis!

So - oops babies are people who can have bright futures same as any non-oops baby!! :-)

Ours were all planned out, sort of! LOL!

I see that you updated that adoption is not an option. I see the misunderstanding.

My girlfriend got pregnant at the age of 45. She thought she was going into menopause. Her youngest was 10. She's now 55, that baby is now 10 and the light of the family. LOVES music and makes the family laugh.

This is a good thing! CONGRATULATIONS to your friends!

Hi WW,

I'm almost afraid to respond in case I jinx myself but here goes. We are a one and done family but my BFF since 7th grade is 11 years younger than her sister. I don't think she was so much an oops baby as a final attempt by her mother to keep her father married to her. not that this is the case in your friends situation. sorry for the digression. Anyway. the sisters have always been very close. sister stood in BFF's wedding as her maid of honor, family trips, they've even been roommates from time to time. I think as long as they focus on the joy of the situation and embrace this unexpected but blessed turn everything will be just fine. maybe some day I'll tell my husband's vasectomy story just for fun. Great question. thanks for reaching out. :-) S.

Sure, there are plenty of people looking to adopt a healthy, white baby. One person's "oops" is a miracle for someone else.
And if it's not "adoptable" so to speak, I'm sure it will be fine. People make do, don't they? This is America, money is NEVER a problem, you just need to work harder :-)