How Old Were You When You Started a Family?

Met my husband at 13, got married at 20 and had our child at 30. We are very happy, we adore our daughter and feel like it all worked out great..

His family was not pleased about how young we were when we got married and told their friends they did not think we would last.. This fall we will celebrate our 30th anniversary..

7 moms found this helpful

hiya
i read this post like 6 times before i decided to responed i was kind of scared to post because i know people can be judgmental. but here it goes

i got pregnant when i was 14, i had my daughter at 15..
i read one other mommas post and she said that she got preg. on oct 23 2007, and it was so weird because thats my daughters birthday.

my daughter was not planed, but i love her with all my heart and take care of her with out and help from others or her father.

but i live by this quote,
we may have met a little early but that means we get to love each other longer.

5 moms found this helpful

I had my kids young just like my Mom, and my Grandma. My kids are even close to their great grandparents. However, everyone I know started having kids young. I've never received comments like you though. For the most part older parents have said they regretted not having kids when they were younger especially when they see me doing cart wheels at the park with all the kiddos =-)

IMO the best time to have kids is when you're ready!

5 moms found this helpful

I met my DH when I was 19, got pregnant soon after (oops) and I moved in with him. We had our son, and everything was going great. We both had good jobs, financially stable, own a home, cars, all that stuff. I got pregnant again when I was 21. I just gave birth to our second, a girl, 7 weeks ago. So Im 22, my DH is now 25, we have a 2 year old son and a 7 week old daughter. We are financially stable, and everything is going well. I dont think it matters the age that you start a family.

4 moms found this helpful

I am from Russia, and there everyone usually is done having kids by 25:) It is really nice to have my grandmother still alive and well, to see her greatgrandkids, she had my dad at 19. So I was ready to be married and have kids early on. Well it did not work out that way (which is fine)
I met my hubby at 23, married at 24......first son was born 2 months before our 1 st anniversary:).....23 months later we had our second son.Money were always up and down, since hubby owns his own company. We just had our 3 rd 4 months ago, I am 31, hubby 34. I think it's better to have kids early on, but I believe that God has a plan and it is perfect:)

4 moms found this helpful

I had my first child at age 36 and my second at age 38 -and we're completely done. I wasn't sure if I ever wanted kids, and my husband wasn't either. We met at 28 and married at 30, and before we married I made sure we were at an understanding that there may never be children (I didn't want him going into it definitely wanting kids in his head and then get all bent out of shape 5 years later if I didn't.). We both decided in our early 30s that we probably would like to have kids, but he had gone back to school, so we decided to wait until he was finished, we had a bigger house and we could take a big trip when he graduated. Both were well-planned and it's worked out wonderfully! For myself, I'm so glad I waited. Not only was I not sure I ever wanted kids earlier in life, but I really enjoyed doing my own thing in my 20s and traveling all the time, and I would have resented being tied down at that point. It's different for everyone! As long as you have the desire, the money and stability, I don't think it matters.

3 moms found this helpful

I didn't meet the right person to marry untill I was in my thirties. My first son was born when I was 36 yrs and 11 mos.
I look younger than I am and it was never an issue. My husband is almost 7 yrs younger. the only person who said anything to my face was my dad.

3 moms found this helpful

I was 39 when I started my family. I have 3 sons. I would have liked to have been younger for this - I have lots of patience but could use more energy. But I didn't get married until I was 39 either and I am glad I am not doing this alone.

I agree with you - there is no "right" age.

3 moms found this helpful

I had my first son when I was 26. I was a single mother and the father has not had one single thing to do with us. He actually signed over his rights.
I then got married to my husband and we waited 3 years to have my second son.
Waited 5 more years and just had my daughter 1 month ago.
Maybe it comes with age (not that I am ancient old or anything) or maybe it comes with experience but I just don't give a rat's bee-hind what anyone else thinks about what I am doing with my family. I have a fantastic glare, so if someone says something that is rude or they have no business saying they are on the receiving end of said glare.
L.

2 moms found this helpful

They there,

My husband and I were 20 and 21 when we got married. We waited almost 8 years before we had kids. That worked for us and everyone is different.

2 moms found this helpful

Married at 21 but didn't have children till 27. At that I got twins-lol! Good thing I did wait!

2 moms found this helpful

I didn't even meet my husband until I was 29 and we married a year later. I was 32 when we had our first child and 36 with our second -- both planned.

I was able to climb the career ladder in my 20s and work the 60+ hour work weeks necessary to be successful. This enabled me to have my own business as a freelancer when I was in my 30s and have a flexible work schedule when we had kids.

This was the right path for our family, but every family is different. People will judge you no matter what you do. There's always a critic out there! Everyone should just do what makes the most sense in their unique situations.

2 moms found this helpful

It's funny-my mom had three children before she was 30..and then me years later at 38. I grew up with the 'stigma' of older parents, (I'm now 39). Having a child after 30 just wasn't done!

Flash ahead and I started my family at 35 and no one bats an eye. I couldn't have started earlier if I wanted I was 32 when I met my husband--but I didn't feel ready any earlier either.

I say it just comes down to preference like everything else. I'm a better mom for waiting-but I had A LOT of personal stuff to work out first before I felt I could be a good mom. If you feel ready in your early 20's that's awesome too!

It annoys me when other moms, (come on, admit it we are mostly the culprits), that feel like the way 'they' did it is the only way to do it. IT being, going back to school, having babies, going back to work, etc.

Whatever works and makes you happy I say.

2 moms found this helpful

I met my husband at 26, we got married at 27, pregnant at 28 had our first at 29.... we got "teased" b/c we did so much so quickly (also built a house in there and finished grad programs).

Oh well- worked for us. I wasn't ready to start a family before then b/c I was in grad school and moving to NY. I also hadn't met a person with whom I wanted to raise a family!

We're hoping to have another within the year. My son will be 3 in May... mixed reactions to that one too... too soon, too far apart, whatever. If it makes sense for you, more power to you!

2 moms found this helpful

My Hubby and I got married.
"I" did not want to have kids right away.
5 years later, we then started trying to have kids.
I had my 1st child when I was in my late 30's.
I had my 2nd child, when I was in my early 40's.
Both were conceived naturally.
Planned.
Both pregnancies were normal and healthy.
My kids were born healthy and normal.
My kids are 4 years apart.
My kids are CLOSE and like 2 peas in a pod. They adore each other and love each other so much and get along so so well.
We are lucky and blessed.

Lots of my friends, had babies, when I did.
It was never a problem.

I, and my friends, NEVER got criticized or rude comments about it.

2 moms found this helpful

I spent my 20's and early 30's on my career, and then got pregnant for the first time when I was 33. It has made for me being a more mature mom, but I also knew enough to be afraid that I'd make a mistake with my kids, so I worried all the time.

My m-i-l once told me that she was glad that she had kids when she was "young and stupid" LOL! because she had no idea that she could do anything to mess her kids up. Turns out she had 4 great kids, successful and well adjusted. Hope I can say the same thing about mine 20 and 30 years down the road!

D.

2 moms found this helpful

I became pregnant with our daughter when I was 22 and she was born when I was 23. My husband was 26. We took over the care of our niece right before my 25th birthday. My daughter and niece have a fourteen month difference in age.

(Interestingly, my parents were 33 and 49 when I was born. So I feel I've experienced the benefits and drawbacks of both scenarios, to a certain extent.)

Surely, the set of challenges and obstacles that we have faced have been somewhat related to our age. They've also been influenced by our financial background, and our extended familial situation. I feel our blessings and the "gifts" we offer our children are also influenced by these factors.

Of course I've received judgement for having our child "young". On the other hand, I've read posts from mothers experiencing judgement/guilt for having their babies at an older age, or for being a SAHM, or for working full time, or for a *myriad* of other reasons.

My conclusion? We all experience some adversity, and are the recipient of certain judgments. Each of us is blessed with individual qualities/circumstances while having to fight other qualities/circumstances. Often, for complicated societal reasons, we are too hard on each other and ourselves. (While it's not 1950 and we have come a long way, mothers and women still face very real sexism and hold a "job position" (mothering) that lacks societal support or regard.)

I'm glad I had my children when I did. There are some drawbacks, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I know *my* decisions and life experience is just that, Mine. They wouldn't work for everyone and that's okay. Likewise, what other people have chosen wouldn't necessarily work for me.

Thank god we can still share support and wisdom from our own personal contexts. Women supporting women = a much happier world!

2 moms found this helpful

I didn't get married until I was 30 and had kids at age 32 and 35. All my friends from high school got married and had kids right away. In fact, my best friend from HS's daughter is 21 and just got married! My kids are 11 and 8, so they are a little behind and I feel like my friend who at age 43 could be enjoying grandkids anytime now, I will be an OLD granny by the time my kids have kids!!! That being said, the only other issue was when my friends all had hubbies and babies, I didn't so I had to sort of find new single friends. I guess if I were friends witt those friends now, we still would have a problem as I have young kids and theirs are out of the house or almost ready to be. Otherwise, there really hasn't been any issues. :)

2 moms found this helpful

My hubby and I started dating at 16 and were married at 22. We started trying a few months later but didn't get pregnant for almost 2 years. I had my first about 10 days before my 25th birthday and my 3rd two months after my 29th birthday.

My feelings on it are, I never wanted a career. I worked to pay bills and support my boyfriend/husband as he got his degree, but never wanted to do anything except be a mom. When my first was born I happily quit to be a SAHM. Maybe if I'd had a career I loved I might have put off having children, but it's hard to say.

We were never into the party scene (nor were our friends), so bar-hopping was never missed out on. And the things we do enjoy doing with friends, dinners and game nights and sports, can just as easily be done with children in tow.

Sometimes I get 'looks' for being a young mom (I look younger than I am and still get carded for lotto tickets! lol), but I don't care much. It's not like I'm 18 with 3 kids.

My husband will be able to retire at age 50. Our mortgage will be paid off by then and our youngest will be 21 (and hopefully out of the house!) so we'll have plenty of time to travel and pursue all those things that we're talking about.

I personally don't care when other people have their children. I do get a little weirded out by those stories of women getting pregnant in their 50s, though I think that pretty rare.

2 moms found this helpful

We met at 17, married at 21, 1st son at 22, 1st dd at 23, 2nd dd at 27.

We are happy and financially stable w only house debt (house payment and utilities). No car payments or credit cards. Our philosphy is - if we don't have the cash to pay for it... we don't need it :)

Everyone starts their family life when they are ready.

Happy Lovings Everyone :)

2 moms found this helpful

Our daughter was a complete surprise. Hubby & I had actually only been dating a couple months before we found out I was pregnant.... oops...

I was 21 at the time. She was born right in the middle of my last semester of college. 26 now and she is about to turn 5. Hubby & I got married when she was 2. My parents were not so happy & not so nice during the pregnancy, and some time after. NOT fun at all! My life hasn't really played out the way I thought, but I love my daughter & I love my husband. Things could have gone better if I had already been out of college & we both had stable jobs, but oh well :)

I really wanted my kids to be closer in age, but we haven't felt stable enough to have our second yet. We are hoping by the end of this year we will be able to start trying for our second. I know no one is ever REALLY prepared, but we're trying to at least be somewhat ready! lol

So, I don't think it's really a matter of age as much as your life situation, stable jobs, etc.

2 moms found this helpful

I don't think you're really all that uncommon actually, at least, not by the standards around here. My oldest was born ON my 20th birthday. My next one was born 12 days after I turned 23. I was 27 1/2 when my 3rd was born and my fourth was born just a couple of weeks shy of my 29th birthday. My husband and I just got married this past May (6 months after our 4th was born), and we've always supported ourselves. He works, I stay home. We don't use any type of government assistance, or ever need money from family/friends. In fact, we are often the ones that other people come to when they're in a bind and need a loan. All of our cars are paid for, we have a mortgage (and the montly bills) and I have a couple of department store credit cards that I use regularly. We don't have a massive amount of debt. Our kids don't want for anything

Who cares what anyone else thinks or says. If they continue to offer unsolicited opinions, tell them point blank that when they start paying your bills and supporting your family, they can have a say or even an opinion in your life. Until then...butt out :)

2 moms found this helpful

It is all in the timing...I think most of us don't have control when we meet the one and get married and start a family. I didnt meet my hubby and get married until I was 31..I had no control over the timing...had a my first at 33, second at 35 and third at 37....If you are responsible, hardworking and a loving parent to your children...good for you...There is nothing to be upset about.

1 mom found this helpful

Kudos to you for being unapologetic! To each their own I say!!

My husband and I were pregnant 6 months after we were married and it was a surprise to us too because I was taking my pill... but not on a schedule. Those instructions on the package are true!! haha we welcomed our pregnancy with surprise, happiness, fearful, nervous, and then happy again. I think even when you are trying you feel those same feelings. Adding to your family is a big deal!!

Because we were pregnant so fast we received very mixed emotions from mostly family. In fact my mother was the worst, she said something along the lines of "oh no you're not" in a not so happy voice. We also would run into people and you could actually see them counting the months that we had been married and the months I was pregnant- HOW RUDE. and does it even matter??

We were not financially stable or had enough room for a new baby, but you know what? We got by just fine :)

Congrats to you and your growing family!

1 mom found this helpful

M.,
What you are doing works for you, and that is all that matters. I was twenty and my husband 19 when we had our first son, 23 when I had my second and 26 when my daughter arrived. Now 16 years later, we go to bed tired from all the sports and activities my kids do. My son will be off to college in 2 1/2 years and my heart hurts just a little to know he is growing up, but filled with joy as to the job his father and I have and will continue to do. So if this is how you feel, and it seems it is, then you started when it was perfect for you.

1 mom found this helpful

I was 28 when we started a family and my husband 29. We were married for 3 years before that. I wanted to enjoy being newlyweds before bringing a baby into the picture. Also, my husband was in medical school when we got married so we wanted to wait for him to finish. We had our first one during his first year of residency! Tough! If I would have known how tough that was going to be I probably would have waited another year. But it sure was an experience! A great experience.

1 mom found this helpful

I was 28 with our first and my husband, six years older, was 34. It sounds old when I actually think about it and type it, but I really can't imagine them any earlier. We really enjoyed our 2 years alone before kids.

1 mom found this helpful

I might as well chime in as an "old" mommy too! I am 34, so I had my first at 29 and my second just 15 months ago. My husband and I were married for 3 1/2 years before we had our first. We probably would've waited longer, but she was a "planned surprise" of sorts - we were not on BC at the time, but didn't think things would happen so fast or at that time.

Anyway, at times I do wish I could've had my children when I was a little younger - I have this fantasy that I would've had more energy, etc. But I don't really know if that would be true. Really, the only reason I would've wanted kids in my early 20's is because then maybe I would have a better chance of living to see my great-grandchildren!

I love both of my girls like crazy, and can't imagine anything different. But I didn't even marry until I was 25, so it's not like I had a choice. I enjoyed being "young" and single, and I'm glad I waited a little bit because I am more "grown-up" now. Am I a better mom because I am older? Hell no! :) But I'm glad I had a chance to be young and stupid before having the challenge of raising children.

I too am sorry that you have been judged. I think it is amazing that you and your husband have accomplished so much! You said you both are doing well financially. I would love to be a SAHM. If it works for you, great! Good for you for having a family AND working on your goals. Your time will come for a career when the time is right. No one should be telling you any different. I work part time in a totally different field than I was trained in so that I can be with my girls a little. I know that something that is right for me will come along when they are older. Good luck to you and your family!

1 mom found this helpful

I planned mine after my 30s because I wanted to have a career first. The mindset was to get my goals out of the way first and then be in a position to support and focus on a family. It worked out for us. The only set back we have is physically trying to keep up, but we are more patient and feel we "parent" the child better versus raising a child. Our main focus now, other than planning retirement is on our children.

1 mom found this helpful

I was 25 when my first was born and 31 with my second. In my family that is ancient to have kids so I got a lot of flack for it .

1 mom found this helpful

We had our first daughter at 24 and our second daughter at 27. It is so strange around here...it seems as though the mothers of my daughters' peers are either 16-20 or 38-45....and here I thought I had my children at an "average" age. We also wanted our children close in age but we had a loss in between daughter 1 and daughter 2 and I still consider them close in age. We wanted to have our children earlier in life, so to speak, with the intention of being "free" to pursue our interests in our late 40s and early 50s (when hopefully we are more financially secure and taking a more laissez-faire attitude toward parenting).

I have heard judgmental comments being made from mothers of all ages.

I think a lot of people react negatively to younger people having children because it is naturally assumed that young people are worthless in today's society. A lot of young adults are still very reliant on their parents. How many young 20 somethings are living at home with mom and dad, or change jobs every 3 months, or go out drinking 5 nights a week, or spend all their money while letting mom and dad buy them groceries, etc. These are the stories you hear about. You don't often hear about the young people who are doing well on their own but there are plenty of us.

1 mom found this helpful

My husband and I met when I was 21 and he was 23. We got married 4 years later when I was 25 and he was 27. Our daughter was born a little over 7 1/2 years after we got married when I was 32 (almost 33) and he was 34 (almost 35).

Everybody was nagging us right after we got married about having a baby. Every time I didn't feel well someone would say "Maybe you're pregnant!" It was so annoying. After a few years they gave up - I think they thought that maybe we just decided not to have kids. In all honesty, we just weren't ready. Luckily I got pregnant very easily after we started trying.

I think that as long as you are able to take care of yourselves and your family that it's nobody else's business. There are lots of advantages of having kids close in age. There are also advanges of having a family at a young age as well as there are for waiting until you're older. It seems like you guys are doing great for yourselves and doing what's right for you!

1 mom found this helpful

I got pregnant at 26 and my boyfriend was 35. Even though I had known my boyfriend for years and years, we had only been dating for 3 months. It was a total surprise and not planned. In fact, I have reproductive problems and was told it would be really hard for me to conceive. At that point I had already been married and divorced.
When I got pregnant, I was actually told by numerous people that I was old. That's right, 26 = old. I used to teach adults at a vocational school, and most of my students had children young (18, 19, 20), so to them I was old for my first pregnancy. I even had one student that had 4 kids and was my age and done having children. They told me they didn't want to be "too old" so they wouldn't be able to enjoy life with their kids. LOL. I had to laugh because after lengthy discussions I did FEEL old, even though I wasn't!
For me, I am happy when I started my family.
To each their own.

1 mom found this helpful

I was 27, but my dear friend was 39.......... we both have amazing families, and great marriages...... I'm just sayin'

1 mom found this helpful

I love it that you are having babies young. I think our bodies do better having babies young rather than older. More energy, etc. I was 25 with our first, 39 with our 6th. I don't want to say "last" because we hope she isn't the last. I'm 44 now. Had a miscarriage in Nov. Still hoping for another before we know it is too late (menopause). Enjoy your littles!

1 mom found this helpful

My husband and I are the same age. We became a couple when we were both 20. We got married at 29. We had our first child when we were 33. We had our second child at 39. In our 20s we both went to graduate school and worked and traveled. We lived in Alaska and I worked doing marine mammal and fish research all over the state. He did lightning research. Then after his postdoc we lived in a different area of Alaska and had our first child. I worked 10-20 hrs a week doing marine research and selling artwork at a local gallery. He worked full time at the university there. We moved to NM after having our 2nd child bc he got a better paying job (professors don't make much sadly) and to be closer to family. I'm a stay at home mom right now. I would not change a thing! I have had the best life, had the coolest experiences, and got to the most interesting places!!! And now I have two awesome kids and love staying home!

1 mom found this helpful

My husband and I started dating when we were 16. I got pregnant (un-planned) when we were 22 years old. I had my son at 23 and just had my daughter and I am 25 now. We are done having kids, and decided this even before I got pregnant with my second (that we only want 2 children) A lot of people thought we were crazy for trying for our second so soon, especially my friends with no children.

We never planned on having children so young, but since it worked out that way we thought it made more sense for us to just get it done with now. We are looking forward to being in our early 40's and have some freedom back to travel and what not once our kids are adults. I just didn't see a point in waiting and luckily we are in a situation where we can afford to raise two children and still have money to do things otherwise it would have been a selfish decision to try for a second child. I do get scared though, WE may only want 2 children, but God has his own plans, so who knows I may be having a 3rd when I'm in my 30's!!!

1 mom found this helpful

I Always knew I wanted to have babies. Just didn't think it would happen how it has :)
My fiance/b/f and I met at work and began a great friendship. We were friends for about 3 years before we both admitted to having actual feelings for each other. So we decided it was time to be together. It was April...when Nov. came Around we found out I was pregnant. OOps :) Not really "planned" but Happy about it.
So we've been together for about 4 years now, I just turned 25 and have a 2 y/o & a 4month old.
II really only think its crazy when 14-16 y/os are getting pregnant. But that's just me. I know every situation is different and yes accidents happen.

1 mom found this helpful

I always wanted children but never had a specific time line in my head. I started to get nervous as I got older and hadn't met the right person yet. I was surprised to find out I was pregnant with my daughter at 32. She was born one week after my 33rd birthday. I am a single mom (still haven't found the right guy,! LOL) I'd love to have more, but I'm 36 now and not even interested in dating so I don't see that happening. I'm happy with my life and know that God has a plan for my life.

1 mom found this helpful

I wasn't going to reply, but after reading how "young" everyone else was when starting a family, I thought an "old" mommy should speak up! :) I got married at 34 and had our first child at 35, my husband is 5 years older than me. Our son was just born the day before my 39th birthday. Our kids are 3 years apart and I'm glad my daughter was at least 3 years old when my son was born. She still seems so young to share my attention, but hopefully she will be better adjusted than if she was always the center of our world.

I often think I am way too old for parenting. In these first few months of not sleeping it is exhausting (our son is almost 4 months old). And I look REALLY old and haggard at he moment! But on the other hand, I had a 10 year career before having kids, and some wild adventures, all while I was "young" and child-free. Each scenario has it's benefits.

Hugs to you mommies of all ages!

My hubby and I started dating when I was 18 (he was 19). I got pregnant in March of 2008, one month before my 21st birthday.We were in Key West for Spring Break. (We actually have a onesie for my son that says "Made in Key West"). We weren't engaged yet, but little did I know that my husband already had a ring and was planning on proposing to me at his graduation dinner in May with all of our friends and family there. Well he proposed at that dinner and we got married when I was 5 months pregnant and we moved into our first place together the next day. In Aug. of 2008, he became the youngest Mechanical Engineer at a government-run Electron Accelerator Facility in our hometown and currently he has a management role (at 24 years old). I'm very proud of my man, obviously :)

We had baby #2 in September 2010, our babies are 21 months apart. I get told all the time that i'm a very mature mom and don't act my age. My kids and husband are my world and we've all got our acts together. Excellent question!

I found out i was pregnant 2 months before i was 18, i had been with only one man and that was for 3 years and we are still together>>>>planning our wedding actually! and our little one was an accident, but we want more and were happy at the age, cause then i can be a young mother and actually do stuff with my children.

Hi M.
I always said I wanted to be pregnant before 33yrs.
Well I was still single when I reached 30yrs and thought to myself " Oh well it might not happen but I am not going to settle for just anyone because my clock is ticking"
Well at 31yrs I met the love of my life, 9mths later we were married,3mths after the wedding I got pregnant and 1 mth after my 33rd birthday I had my son.
I am now nearly 37yrs and hoping to get pregnant with second one soon.
I look at it this way, if you have your kids young then you can build a career,have a social life ,travel etc etc when your kids are grown.
If you have kids when one is older,like me,all the partying and the rest is done beforehand. No big deal, I think each child comes when he/she is suppose to.
Fun question!
B.

I think the answer is as you said: different for everyone. I had just turned 40 when I had my son. I look at women who are in their 20s and think it's crazy because I was not ready to have kids in my 20s. That's all. Just remember that everyone comes at it from their own perspective. I waited because I wanted to wait.

I had been through one previous marriage where I jumped in out of loneliness and shortly realized I never wanted kids with him. In my opinion, if he beat a dog he would beat a kid! Anyway, pulled up roots, moved out of state, met a great guy that was 7 yrs younger, dated for 11 years, got married Oct. 14, 2006, got preggo Oct. 23, 2007, had two girls on June 3, 2008. I was 39!
I realized that I had the right man, but needed to give him time to grow up (as if men ever do). He was 21 when we met.
My mother has seen her youngest daughter have children younger (20's) and her two oldest kids have them when they were pushing 40. Her opinion in the case of her kids is that my brother and I appreciate and enjoy our kids more, because we were older/more mature. That doesn't mean that other, younger mothers don't appreciate their kids, just the case with my siblings. Of course my sister was the partying kind and my brother and I never were. I figure she felt like her fun was over. My brother and I feel like our fun has just begun!

I agree with Momofmany in that younger bodies handle pregnancy better.

I have a 7 y/o DD that was conceive while I was 23 and single ....so I had to work full time and postpone my school for the Next years, I get married at 27 and everybody told me to wait a couple or years before getting pregnant but my DH and I have plans for us so we decided we wanted 2 kids more (he has a girl from a previous relationship ) so right now I have a 17 months old and expecting another one in 6 more weeks....and that's is ...I'm going to be a sahm for a year after the birth of this baby and then Im going back to school we have a lot of plans for the future we love to hang out ( I haven't been out since 2008) and probably won't till my last baby turns 5 or so.... but my goal is at 35, in four years, I want to be a hot momma , with a great job or business and will going to be able to enjoy ourselfs ....that's our plans, thats what we are working on accomplish right now....

Neither of ours were "planned". We had been together for almost 3yrs, living together for about 2 when I found out I was pregnant with #1. Hubby immediatly asked me to marry him, we got married in Oct and our son was born the following June. (I had just turned 22 in May). When our son was 16 mo old, we found out we were pregnant with #2. I had my baby girl when I was 24. They are exactly 25 mo apart to the day (both born on the 13th). I definitly had times when they were little and I was around other moms and was treated like the "young" one. That was weird to me, because I just felt like an average age mom of little ones - it's not like I was 16 or anything!!

I married my high school sweetheart at 20....young, but I am a planner and I had this master plan that we would be married, finish school, teach for about five years, then have kids....I wanted to be a young mom, but I wanted to become established in my career so I could easily go back to teaching after I was done raising my children. Well....I became pregnant within our first month of marriage! I had professors tell me I needed to take time off of school because there was no way I would be able to finish pre-student teaching. Well, my last week in the classroom, my water broke, had my beautiful daughter that Monday night, and was back to finish my time the following Monday. I get tons of looks, especially because I look even younger than I am (I just turned 23). Is it what we had planned? Nope...but I couldn't imagine life without my little girl. My husband has a great job and I could stay home, but I wanted to get a few years of teaching under my belt. We are actually putting our home on the market within the month (we bought a very small house before we were married, thinking it would be great for just the two of us :) ) and building our dream home once ours sells. We are trying for our second baby, and once that happens then I will stay home until both kiddos are in school. I feel like it works for us, we are doing fine, and really could care less what people think :)

okay, you have 47 answers! but my two cents: you sound happy and healthy. your kids were planned. you're where you want to be in life. frankly i'm jealous ;). there are benefits to having kids young, and different benefits to waiting (mostly maturity and finances, and sounds like you're not lacking in either). we're all different. i am 35 with an almost 4 yr old and i feel OOLLLLDDD. been trying to have another since september. it took me 5 yrs to recover from the first, and if i get pregnant NOW i will be 40 with a little kid! doesn't sound too fun to me, but that's the path i've chosen i guess. i thought i was starting young - i got pregnant at 30! so my point is, time flies, get the tough stuff (kids) out of the way and then pursue your grownup interests. i think you're doing wonderfully.

i'm sorry you have felt judged. i actually think some of that is people's projections of their own insecurities (like i said, one of my first reactions when i read your post was envy - imagine that!). maybe they had difficult times when they were young with kids, and are just trying to protect you. but you sound like you got your stuff together mama, and more power to you and your partner. you go girl!

Im turning 30 this year, i have a daughter who just turned 8 today, and another girl turning three soon enough. Im glad I had them young. yes. my daughter's friend's moms are much older than me, but usually it does not matter. When it does i do feel really young. Sometimes i get sad thinking i spent my 20s, pregnant, lactating struggling with fevers, decisions, bills and homeschooling, but then i remember that my thirtys will be spent catching up to a career and finding my hobbies. hmmm, hope i enjoy it as much

Hi,

I got pregnant with my son very unexpectedly--we were using 2 forms of birth control FAITHFULLY-lol , he wanted to be born and it was meant to be! Our familes were very suprised and it didn't go over well, but we didn't care---he was meant to be here and it was absolutely the right time for us. Our second child was born about 3 years after our first. I am happy we spaced them that way.

M