How Many of You Had an "Surprise" Pregnancy?

Updated on May 30, 2012
B.M. asks from Pocatello, ID
45 answers

So I planned all 3 of my pregnancies but I have a few friends who have had a surprise pregnancy. Or you know..had one wild night with the hubby and figured everything would be fine only to end up pregnant after that one night. LOL I also have a few friends who at first said their pregnancy was an surprise only to tell me later that they had planned it. They said because of their situations at the time (they were newly married or they didn't want people to know they had planned to have their kids under 2 years apart etc) they decided to tell everyone else it was a surprise. So it just got me wondering......How many people say it was a surprise when really it wasn't? So how about it ladies anyone done this?

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So What Happened?

Okay sorry I first called it an accidental pregnancy. I didn't mean to offend any of you by calling it that. I, like all of you do not believe children are accidents or should be called that. I just meant how many of you had a surprise pregnancy or didn't and said you did? So using the word accident instead of surprise was bad on my part. Again I am sorry. It sounds like most of you who had a surprise pregnancy really did! There was only a few who admitted to using that as a way to get around having to deal with all the questions people ask (which I don't blame you) anyways thanks for all the comments ladies.

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M.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

My first pregnancy was not planned but it certainly was not accidental, lol!

I don't think anyone can accidentally become pregnant, right?!

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

I have gotten pregnant unintentionally. with #1 I was on the pill (missed two doses) and wound up pregnant after a drunken Christmas eve. ;-) We were already engaged and in wedding planning mode, but had planned on waiting a while to have kids. So the timeline just got moved up 5 years.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

My DD was an accidental pregnancy - not unwanted, but a few years before we were planning on it.
I was on the pill and had forgotten to take it once. I doubled up the next day but still...
I was pretty shocked when I found out. I had been on the pill for more than a decade when I got pregnant and it by far wasn't the first time I had ever forgotten one...and had never before gotten pg.
So no, truly an "accident" here.

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

I have 4 kids... I say that two were gifts, and two were requests.

We wanted to have kids, but hubby felt we should wait until he was out of school... he had 1 year left. I got pregnant at Thanksgiving, and she was born 3 months after he graduated! This was our first "gift" .......

#2 we were trying for......

#3 was a "gift" ....... 3 kids within 4 years! August 1982, April 1984, August 1986.

#4 came along 5 years later..... we felt it was "time" for another..... so he was a request.....

I never wanted our kids to think they were "accidents" .... I had planned on probably 2 or 3... I guess God knew better, and gave me 4!!! I can't imagine which one we wouldn't have had......

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T.M.

answers from Redding on

Mine were both 2 perfect unplanned pregnancies.

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E.E.

answers from Denver on

I haven't had any accidents. But I have had two really big surprises.

One at age 39 (not trying to get pregnant) and one at age 45 (definitley not trying to get pregnant). I love them dearly and am so glad they're here. I'm equally glad for the one that wasn't a surprise - we adopted him. : )

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I was not wanting to get pregnant and it was a bad situation but he was not an accident. God had a reason for him to be here and he totally turned my life around!!!!!!!!!!!! He is now 13 and one of the most gifted people that i know out there.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

I think it is more common to say it was planned when it was an accident since I doubt many people think positively on the term "accident" especially when it comes to lifechanging situations. Your question is interesting! I have a friend who has had 5 "accidental" pregnancies. You would think she would realize that "pulling out" is not good birth control. She thinks the pill is dangerous and the husband is just now getting around to a vasectomy. One of the ways I can see people saying it was an accident when it was really planned was if one partner really wasn't ready of didn't want to have a baby.

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X.O.

answers from Chicago on

My husband tries to pretend that #2 & #3 were accidents, but I clearly told him, "Um, honey, I'm ovulating" both times. Oh well, both of those kids ended up with my personality & appearance. #1 was all his doing and is like his clone.

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A.W.

answers from Chicago on

When I was 18 my GYN told me I wouldn't be able to have kids as my uterus was tilted so far back it was almost laying down and instead of the top being rounded it was inverted- it looked kinda like the top of the heart but it was so low where it pointed down almost touched the floor of my uterus ) it pretty much divided my uterus in two. Plus one of my Fallopian tubes was blocked (I don't exactly remember how). Plus I had a history of endrometriosis (sp?). So my chances were nil (or so I thought).Some years later- Surprise!!!!! I got pregnant with my daughter after a night of drinking Mickey's. LOl so I got my miracle baby and a fixed uterus. She pushed the top back up so it's rounded and tilted it back so it's straight now. Go figure.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I was using 3 forms of birth control (pill, condoms, spermicide) when I got pregnant with my son. That's not an accident. That's a 'meant to be'.

Last thing in the world I was planning! Rather the opposite. I was beubg EXTREMELY careful. I was 'planning' on waiting 10 years. Which, rather ironically, would be THIS year.

Man plans. God laughs.

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F.M.

answers from San Antonio on

nope. mine was an accident. a real accident. but we call it a "surprise," not an accident. we'd just been married two weeks and were pretty stupid. Wouldn't change it for the world. God's plan maybe wasn't quite our plan. But it's the best plan ever. :)

added: I was a 'surprise' chid also. Mom was told she couldn't bring a baby to term. So she and dad adopted in 76. Adopted again in 79. Had me in '80! Surprise!

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K.J.

answers from New Orleans on

I don't think children are accidents. Our oldest, I found a few weeks after Hurricane Katrina that I was pregnant.(She wasn't planned) My hubby,(boyfriend at the time of 4 1/2 years) we got married when I was 4 months along. I was already 20 when I had her.Few months after she was born I got pregnant again(wasn't a planned one either) to having a miscarriage 7 weeks later. 2 months later got pregnant again to have another beautiful girl. :) She wasn't a planned one either,but we figured that God must of wanted us to have 2 beautiful girls 14 months apart and both children and myself was healthy. Had no problems. After our second daughter was born we said we were going to waited a few years before having anymore kids. When our second child made 14 months we agree on having another child. I was off of birthcontrol for a month and figured it would take some time to become pregnant(which didn't happened like that. the following month I was pregnant.) He was the only one that was "planned". But i believe things happened for a reason and that God blessed us with three beautiful children and I would DO Everything all over again to have each one the same way again. Children are Blessings!!! :)

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C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

When you go to the doctor for a double ear infection and find out you're 5 1/2 MONTHS pregnant, I'd call THAT a surprise.

I thought I was going thru early menopause like most women in my family did.

That shingles medication is NO JOKE!

What, don't MOST people that have been married for over 14 years (at the time) have a kid just to make things interesting?!

Best thing I've got that I NEVER knew I wanted! :)

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C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I know women who claimed their pregnancy was an "accident" because they were embarrassed to have had a 2nd or 3rd child by someone who treated them badly.
I know women who lied and said their baby was premature because they were either lying about the paternity or trying to hide that they were pregnant before they got married.
One girl that I knew lied because she didn't want people to think her pregnancy was the only reason she and her fiance finally got married.

I've never lied about mine. They were all planned. The first two were 11 days shy of being two years apart. People felt we were having another baby soon, but we didn't care what they thought. :)

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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Two true surprises for me! One thanks to a sinus infection (birth control pills and antibiotics don't mix) and the second one was thanks to a very nice Italian dinner and bottle of wine...lol...

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R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

my answer would be 5 :)

#1 I was 100% shocked, I had been on bc but a week lapsed before I got my shot again. They told me I should be ok since only a week went by... um yup a month later found out I was pregnant. 18 and half way through my senior year.

#2 I was shocked also because again I was on the depo shot. ( figured out at that point the depo shot must not work too well for me ) We got married when I was 5 months pregnant.

#3 was the biggest shock.. he was born when #2 was only 11 1/2 months. There was only one time my ( now ex) husband and I could think of that we didn't use a condom... that must have been the golden ticket

#4 and 5 weren't "planned" but when it happened it happened.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Ah yes, we have some friends that the husband made a big deal about how 2 was all they were having. They had a boy and a girl.

I warned him that his wife did not want to go back to work once the children were school age..even though this had been their agreement.

My husband even suggested he get a vasectomy... Sure enough when their son was 4 she got pregnant. He found out she on purpose had quite taking birth control.

2 years later, they were divorced.

We were married 10 years, totally planned to get pregnant. Had her, love her and decided 1 was perfect for us.. Now 22 years later.. No oops..we take precautions.

My husbands aunt got gregnant at the age of 50! Completely, healthy child.. So we still do not take chances.

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

my first one was a real accident, I got pregnant while using the pill. I couldn't believe I was pregnant at 25 , we had been going out for only 9 months and 9 months later our first daughter was born lol.

the second and third were planned, obsessively if I may add. I go crazy when I get baby fever, I temp, I buy ovulation kits, I buy pregnancy tests every freaking month lol but yeah only my first was an accident.

Honestly why would you say it was an accident when it wasn't ? it's kind of ridiculous, just say you like your kids close in age. I don't see the problem with having two little ones close together.

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I got pregnant with #3 when #2 had just turned 1. Totally caught me off guard. We were actively trying to avoid a pregnancy (unfortunately, or fortunately, however you want to look at it, my husband just has to LOOK at me and I'll get pregnant). We had a son, then a daughter, so we thought "ok, one of each, we're done". Then I got pregnant again. I hated being pregnant, so I was devastated. But I got over it and now, almost 10 years later, my youngest is an absolute joy and I can't imagine my life without her. I'm soooo happy we royally effed up!

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V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was on birth control pills, forgot 2 or 3... Hello baby Oliver.

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Planned both of ours. No other pregnancies that I am aware of. (Meaning of course that if I had a super early miscarry, I knew nothing about it and didn't miss any periods).

No "accidental" pregnancies here. I don't really get the logic behind saying it was an accident (when it wasn't) anyway (from your example).. How would you like your child to hear "you were an accident"? Umm. no. Not good in my opinion.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Ours wasn't planned, but she wasn't exactly an accident. We knew we were in a place we could handle it, but weren't really ready to start trying. The first time we had sex without a condom, we got pregnant.

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I've never had an accidental pregnancy. All three of my children were planned. I can't understand how someone can go "oops" when they are pregnant, because if you are having sex and not preventing it, then you WILL, eventually, get pregnant! This is not a new concept! Even if you are preventing it, you could get pregnant, especially if you are skipping bc pills, not taking it at the same time every day, etc.

I did tell some people that my first pregnancy was an "uh-oh" pregnancy because I didn't want people to judge me. I was only 20 and my husband and I lived in an apartment and we didn't make very much money. We were both in college. I was young & broke and having a child was certainly not ideal. To save the questions & lectures that were irrelevant anyway (since the child was already on the way), I lied.

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T.V.

answers from New York on

My first child wasn't an accident, but she wasn't planned either. My son was planned. I have a friend who ditched her birth control for a while to get pregnant. Her husband had told her that he didn't want a child, but I guess she made the decision for him.

I don't know of anyone else who secretly planned a pregnancy, but lied and said it was an accident, but I know of a lot of unplanned pregnancies. It happens.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

My first was a total and complete surprise. I still don't think the shock has worn off (and he's almost 6). lol

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

We were engaged, planning a wedding for Sept. '06. April '06 I had my yearly check up and was worried I might have a abdominal tumour. Got a blood test and an ultrasound. Blood came back positive for baby, got a 5 week estimate. Did the ultrasound and it was a baby not a jelly bean, I was 5 months! My husband was white, I laughed, one of those shocked uncontrolled laughs. We married May '06. :) BC, spermicide. Slippery little bugger. :) I wouldn't have "planned" it mostly because his family is SUPER conservative. As if having them give me the stink eye for not dragging him to church every time the doors opened wasn't bad enough. Luckily Nomi was so stinking adorable they forgave me for my brazen harlot ways. Ha! My "baby" is turning 6 in August and #2 is due in October!

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S.M.

answers from Chicago on

3 out of the 4 were what we like to call surprises.
The first one we were only married 6 months before I got pregnant. Things were really busy right then and I lost track of where I was in my cycle. Surprise!
The second one was the biggest surprise. I was on the pill and taking it on time... our oldest was only 4.5 months old when we found out- they are 1 year and 10 days apart.
Third was planned.
Fourth is again a surprise. My cycles had just started to get irregular and before I made it to the dr. to figure things out I found out we're expecting again. We had thought we were done after # 3 (the last two will be almost 5 years apart).

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V.T.

answers from Washington DC on

My twins are 3.5 months old and I tell people that I had a planned and unplanned pregnancy at the same time. My husband and I were going for one more, and got two more. We were definitely surprised and sometimes I still look at the both of them and wonder how we got here. But I love them both and couldn't imagine not having either one of them.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

To say it was an accident would be like a drunk driver hitting someone and calling it an accident. Considering everything it was always a possibility. We were young, sloppy, stupid..... Was my first child planned, no.

Ya know?

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S.E.

answers from New York on

im almost 31 weeks right now.. absolutley total accident.. not at all prepared for a baby but were getting there
-im 23 hes 26 weve been together 4 years.. at first we were really freaked out.. now were engaged and couldnt be happier

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I.W.

answers from Portland on

My daughter was truely a surprise. I was on the pill & we used a condom. Not sure how she managed to get here with all the roadblocks, lol.

She's been a wonderful surprise, for the most part. She is a stubborn teenager now :-P

I most definitely wouldn't have gotten pregnant on purpose at 18.

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L.A.

answers from Denver on

At 16 my mother took me to our old town doctor and he told me I'd never get pregnant because I had a "tilted womb". This was fine with me because I was a teenager in love with the concept of zero population growth and I'd grown up with 7 siblings so I really did not want children. One month after my wedding I conceived. The doctor said it was a miracle and not likely to happen again. Three years later I had a fetal demise at 30 weeks. The scar tissue was extensive and the doctor who cared for me said I'd never conceive again. Not five months later I'm pregnant again, a miracle again. Three years later another pregnancy. I told them to tie my tubes because the next doctor who told me my pregnancies were miracles and couldn't possibly happen again was gonna find himself knocked out cold on the floor.

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E.A.

answers from Erie on

My first and my last children weren't planned. My middle two were. I'd never say they were "accidents". We've also never been untruthful about it if someone asked, which only rude people do. I can't figure out why this stuff matters to people...

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I have three sons and a step-daughter. From my husband's perspective and mine, all were surprises. My oldest son's dad sabotaged our birth control but really, the last thing I wanted when I became pregnant was to become a mom. My SD's mother told my husband that she was infertile and he was dumb enough to believe her. Conveniently, she got pregnant right after he told her that he didn't want to renew the lease on their apartment and that he planned on getting his own place to live.

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J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

My daughter was completely unplanned, in fact we had a hard time trying to figure out when she was conceived.

I never call her an accident just and unplanned child.

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

All three of my kids--and we were using protection sometimes 2 forms. My husband and I are very fertile.

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S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

my son was very unplanned. We had just gotten engaged two months before and definatly weren't ready for a baby. We were using condoms but I think we skipped it that night because I wasn't getting a period (I have an eating disorder) and hadn't had well in while so I figured I pry wasn't ovulating anyway....guess again.

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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

My#3 is nine months old, he was a surprise. But we are so happy to have him.

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K.B.

answers from St. Louis on

My son got through birth control and the Plan B pill. Definitely wasn't planning him, but love him just the same :)

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M.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I don't call my son an accident. I call him a surprise. I truly found out I was pregnant within two weeks of my husband and I deciding we would go for it and start trying...so yes that means he must have been conceived before we decided to try or perhaps the second we decided we would try. We were already married over 5 years at this point and together almost 10 year btw...we def. did not rush into this decision. In a way I feel like he decided to be our son before we decided to become parents :-) He is the best surprise ever. I love him more than anything in the world.

B.B.

answers from Dallas on

Ahhh... Yes.. my daughter was 4 months old, and me and hubby were getting married, "small civil service", and I just knew I MEAN I KNEW it would be ruined by my period... So I was extremely shocked when we had an amazing night.... And I knew then, even tho I didn't tell him till a week later, and I was about 1 month... So my girls are 13 months apart... Wouldn't change it for the world....
I have also used the whole, oh yea it just kind of happens with my new baby... I have a 1 week old, and we planned her, "well, planned in boy, bug ya know lol" and I didn't tell anybody except a few close friends, but Jo family, and when people asked, and most of them are real judgmental I just pkayed it off to avoid an argument.. I was not ashamed, or am now, but some people just get on my nerves, and I have a short fuse.

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R.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I tried for 5 years to have my first child. Fertility pills and thermometers, laperoscopy (sp?) and all that jazz. Tried two more years to have the second, fertility pills and thermometers laperoscopy (sp?)and all that jazz. Had great pregnancies, loved it. Would do it again in a minute. But its h*** o* my children. Little one is three, hubby wants to get rid of the "baby stuff" but I couldn't do it, yet. One day, I'm bleeding, feel a lump pass thought I'd had a miscarriage went to see the doctor. Had me in for a ultrasound within a couple days to check things. Well I was pg with number 3, already passed my first trimester. She is great. I was never happier with any surprise. She is 6 and I can't imagine life without her. She is such a joy. She was 10 lbs 12.5 oz but you'd never know it now.

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C.D.

answers from Atlanta on

I don't believe in accidental pregnancies. The parents may think it's an accident, but the person you've given birth to doesn't. Some say each time a baby is born, it's God's way of saying the world should go on.

I knew a person that was told he was an accident by his mother and it affected him very poorly and for years he felt like he was worthless. I told him no matter what his mother believes, he is no accident. (It was offensive to me and not even her child.)

I have never done this.

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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

My third child was a surprise, born just 20 months after his brother. We were using contraception religiously and I was breastfeeding and yet we still got pregnant. We were shocked, but got over it. Now we are so glad that contraception is no obstacle to the power of God and His plan for our family. We now enjoy the antics of a beautiful blonde 2 yr old little guy that just keeps us laughing. Thank God for surprises! Nurse Midwife Mom of 3

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