The Five Love Languages

Updated on November 15, 2010
S.C. asks from Beverly Hills, CA
10 answers

Hi all.....because of some people here on mamapedia I've bought the book "the five love languages"....just want to know how you all found it and if it helped anyone?Can't wait to dig into it once the kids are in bed!!!I've gotten so much wonderful advice here that I'm sure its all you've said it it...just looking for some feedback on it!!!Thanks moms!!

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

I love that book and I think it helps with EVERY relationship.....not only for marriage.
Happy reading!

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G.W.

answers from Orlando on

I thought it was very interesting...confirmed what I really suspected - that my husband's love language is physical touch and mine is words of affirmation. What I most picked up from the book is how we often make the mistake of loving our partner using our own love language (because that's what makes us feel loved so we think it should him/her too) but that can actually leave our partner feeling dissatisfied because we haven't spoken to them in the "right" language. Very good book..

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K.C.

answers from Seattle on

Hi S.,
I got the book awhile back and I would read a chapter, highlighting/underlining those parts that really expressed how I felt, and then I let my husband read the chapter. I think it was helpful for him to see which things really were applicable to our marriage. Then after he finished the chapter, we'd talk about it. Not be discouraging, but honestly, I think the suggestions were short-lived cause I feel like we are back in our patterns of being somewhat disrespectful, etc. It did help me to understand that physical affection (i.e., sex) was VERY important to my hubby, and was his "love language", whereas my love language was more of the "please help around the house" things. Now that I think about it, I think it did help. It is a great book for providing some understanding as to how different people express and feel love.

There was just a blog posted on mamasource a few days ago about 5-minute conversations, exerpts from a book entitled, "Fight Less, Love More". I think I'll check that one out because the blog had some really good suggestions.

Good luck and happy communicating with your hubby!

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L.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I hear d a talk on this book at MOPS and have read through the material before. I asked my kids what they thought their love language was. It was really neat. I'm starting to implement a plan to "speak" their languages in different ways so that I can regularly fill up their love tanks. I love the material! It's a great tool to show love in practical ways. My husband's love language is acts of service. I think that's a pretty easy one. I just make sure the house is clean and dinner is ready and tasty every night. It's great! God bless you!

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C.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

We read it years ago and still talk about our love language and when our love tanks are empty. I don't remember anything else from the book. I think it's important to know each others love languages and trying to pay attention to them everyday. That's the work when they say relationships are work! My husband is words of affirmation which is difficult for me b/c that's just not how I am. I definitely see the difference when I give him words of affirmation. Of course you'll still fight over things but if you keep love tanks full you'll be able to get through it a lot smoother!
I do agree w/ another post that it helps other relationships too!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I did not read the book, but we took the tests and went over the info with our marriage councilor. It was insightful to learn the different ways we here and process things, and how to best communicate with the other in a way they can understand.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ha ha we have read it (or at least thumbed through it in my husband's case) and he uses it against me all the time! He has determined his 'love language' is Physical Touch so you can imagine how this plays into the bedroom scene when I am tired LOL! He will act very needy about needing hugs and cuddling and stuff. My 'love language' is definitely Acts of Service... so then I counteract with, what are you talking about I need to show more love for you right now, I just made you dinner, cleaned your house, bathed your kids etc etc etc what more do you want!
I also get annoyed because he will ask for backrubs and footrubs and stuff, claiming he is a Physical Touch person and NEEDS this from me, and I am always wondering, if that is your love language, why are you not offering up the footrubs and backrubs to ME to express your love for me? It only works one way? Ha!
The book is definitely some interesting insight. I wouldn't say it has revolutionized our marriage or anything, but it's something fun to talk about and gain greater understanding of the variety of ways people express love. It makes you realize that your partner is loving you in their own way.

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2.S.

answers from Florence on

it was a good book, we really enjoyed it. but it didnt have lasting effects for us. hope your and your hubby get more out of it then we did.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

It is a very easy read, and can only be helpful for any relationship -- even if the concepts don't stick in the long run. Just knowing that you're trying to understand each other (you, your DH/SO and your children) is important. Happy reading!

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I love that book! It helped me and my marriage. It really makes sense and if you read the book with your spouse or talk about it with your spouse you realize what can be causing some problems. I know it shed light on many of my problems. Hope you like it =)

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