I think we women have all gotten this from our husbands at some point or other - we all understand you!
I ran across this blog the other day that seemed to address the sex issue quite well!
Clearly, men and women have different sex drives...she addresses this nicely and helps us to understand it's a real need for men, and when we give...we usually get more help on the home front as the husband feels satisfied and happy. Tricky part is giving without expecting the help at first! You may also just have to have a heart-to-heart talk with him.
The only advice I have is that...I know that if I leave my husband alone with my kids for even a few hours, he "gets it" again when I come home! He won't even venture out of the house with all three of our kids (heaven forbid five kids when my stepkids are over!) My attitude is that he's a guy, so that's his perogative...he's not female and he's not a mom, so he's not going to "get it" all...and I am not going to let 3 or 5 kids stop me. I pile them in the car, and off we go. (Otherwise, I'd go nowhere and have no fun!)
A few years ago, when it was absolutely necessary for us to juggle schedules due to finances and work...my husband bonded with our middle son very well. He is so proud now, when he looks back, that he could do a mothering role all by himself! It seems silly because we women could do it all blindfolded, underwater, in a straightjacket... But I let him revel in his parenting victory!
As for your weight, I am also struggling with this. I joined Weight Watchers recently, and they make it easier to address the weight loss issue by focusing on just losing 10% of your body weight. Doesn't losing 20 pounds sound easier than losing 40? Try to get some exercise in (even just walking), figure out what time of day works best for you. When I wait til the end of the day...it doesn't happen. If I do it early, I have energy and am still in a peaceful and upbeat state of mind! My husband also cannot understand why I just can't wait til 6pm or 8pm and do a workout with him. I can and I have...but it's a struggle for me with dinnertime, evenig activites, bath and bedtimes. So early it is, and he has to work out alone sometimes.
I also decided to join WW because exercise alone was not doing it for me. I am ready to reclaim my body and I guess in order to do that, it needs calories cut as well. Basic principle, I know...but hard to put into practice. I am on week #2 and doing well, it's not as hard as I thought it would be!
I did join the gym. I asked for a membership for my birthday in December. My hubs did not get it for me, but I signed myself up in January at a gym with childcare. He said he did not understand, the childcare was too extravagant, etc. I said forget it, I'm going and I'm paying! (I do bring in some money altho it is not as much as he earns.) And he has been ok with it now, he also joins me. It's like an exercise date, we both get out without kids at least once a week!
Best of luck to you!