It has been my personal experience that the more I focus on what I feel I'm not getting from my husband the less it seems like I get in the way of emotional support and intimacy (beyond sex). About five years ago I had had it with my husband and had made up my mind that I was going to leave and divorce him as soon as the time was right. For years and years all I had focused on was what needs of mine weren't being fulfilled in my relationship with my husband. It seemed it was all I talked about with my girlfriends and all I ever really thought about when it came to thinking about my marital relationship. Back then I really truly felt that intimacy (sex) with my husband was a chore and that when it came to intimacy he cared nothing for me or what I needed. I also felt that I'd been wasting my life with a man who didn't care about my needs let alone tried to meet them. I was done!
Thank goodness that for some reason I decided to stop focusing ONLY on what needs of mine I felt weren't getting met and started focusing ONLY on the positive things about my husband and our relationship. It's hard to put into words just how much of a turnaround our relationship has had. The more attention I paid to what he 'was' doing for me and how much he cared for me the more attention he paid to my needs and the more effort he put into making sure my emotional needs were being met. ALL of this happened without me saying a single word to him. There was no heartfelt discussion even though every few months for most of our 30 year relationship I had a mini-breakdown where we had a big argument with me going on and on about how my needs weren't being met AND no matter how many times we had this same old tired discussion things never changed. I'm sure you'll figure out the details on your own but I can promise you that if you stop looking only at the negative aspects of your relationship and begin to focus most of your attention on the positive ones things will change.
Today I enjoy a wonderful relationship with my husband. I didn't give up anything for myself, I didn't make any sacrifices, I didn't make any demands, I didn't threaten divorce, I didn't make tearful accusations that he just didn't care about me like I cared for him...I just chose to change how I percieved our relationship and EVERYTHING changed. Just by changing how I saw our relationship, which changed how I contributed to it, I have at long last gotten the loving, happy, fun and sexy relationship I'd always wanted but never thought I'd have.