Support Groups for Siblings

Does your school district have a special education parent group? My town has a very active group called the SEPAC that has monthly meetings and a very active Facebook page. The members are all parents of children with special needs or SPED teachers, therapists, counselors etc. who want to connect with each other. Members are always posting info for forums, support groups, workshops and other resources in our area. If I were you, I would check with whoever handles SPED at your school (might be a school psychologist, counselor or other administrator) and ask if there is a parent group in your area and if there is, you can probably get good info on local resources. Another place to ask might be your pediatrician or whoever is treating your son.

There is a group called Sibling Support Project that offers "Sibshops" in many areas. You can search their website to see if there is one near you.

https://www.siblingsupport.org/about-sibshops/find-a-sibs...

FWIW I think that looking for sibling support is a wonderful idea and hope that you find something near you!

I don't know about any specific support groups but I think you should do your best to carve out some one on one time with your older son on a regular basis.
A younger sibling without any special conditions is often enough to make the older sibling feel like chopped liver - and it's got to be even tougher when the special condition is added into the mix.
Always remember that your oldest is your baby too - and he needs you - not in the same way the other does - but he still needs you.

i'm sorry, i don't. maybe the school or your pediatrician or the library have some resources?
but i just wanted to stick my oar in here and say how much i appreciate your thought process here. too many parents are hesitant to tell kids like your older boy 'i know, honey. it stinks. it's not fair. sometimes this is the way the cookie crumbles. how can we help you deal with this?'
and then find him help.
you are an awesome mama.
khairete
S.

One of my kids had special needs that required a lot of attention in the early days. I worked with a special group of parents - we met regularly, once a week for an afternoon. The parents often brought the siblings along - there was a place for them to hang out or play (because many had no sitters). There were so many connections through there between families and resources - and this was like a early intervention center. The older kids benefited from meeting other kids who had siblings with special needs. Same with the families.
Is there a resource place for kids/families near you? Were you referred to one? Because they can be so helpful. I just liked sitting with parents who had similar struggles and we just shared our stories from the week and we had a lady leading it who offered suggestions on how better to manage, and then the parents piped up and said what worked for them. We would end up laughing over things that had made us cry earlier in the week. Whoever diagnosed your child should know of one or even a support group. Good luck :)

These things are likely to be local/regional, not national.

Ask the school, for starters.

Talk to your pediatrician about referrals to counseling services or individual therapists. He/she can help you find someone who takes your insurance. Network/network/network and keep notes on your calls so you don't go down the same path more than once.

Look at your town's website or call the Town Clerk - find out if there is a department of family services or something like that. They often have counselors (often reduced costs), groups, etc. One thing to get help with is your comment about having your older child help his brother more. You want to involve your child in helping himself deal with his brother better - but that's not the same thing as making him do the work. If he's resentful already, you don't want to give him the "job" of helping his brother. There are ways to more gently get into that by showing him it's better for HIM if he does X Y and Z.

Another greatly underused resource is the reference librarian at your local library. They have access to so much material and information, and it's their job (and usually their passion) to help you research things.

If you feel lost many times, that can cause depression, and that can make it difficult to organize yourself, your thoughts, and your tasks. Recognize that, and by all means get help for you. On airplanes, they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you try to help others! That's a good rule for life too!

I have Googled similar things before, and usually find some things. The problem is all the ones I found were in the larger city near us, which is still almost an hour away. So it depends on how big your town is. But they do exist. I would probably start by Googling "sibling support groups" with your city's name and go from there. Good luck.

I don't know if there's a group, but visit the blog adiaryofamom.wordpress.com, and her facebook page also. Her younger is on the spectrum, older daughter isn't. You can ask questions, get support, and the writing is just wonderful.

How old is older brother? Because unfair goes both ways, really. Would older B want to have the challenges that younger B does? That is also unfair. It's hard to get out of your own perspective, especially as a kid, but the world just isn't fair all the time.

Even if your younger son isn't diagnosed with autism, you may find helpful resources among that community. I have a website with a LOT of blogs - parents, autistic bloggers, professionals, etc - autistikids.com. Check it out and see if there's something helpful there. Feel free to PM me if you like!