36 answers

Stepmom Nick Names

My fiance has 2 boys with his ex wife and we have been together for 4 years, but we also have a son together, and recently my fiance's oldest son told me that when his father and I get married he wants to call me "mommy", which I don't have a problem with but I wouldn't want him to get confused at home or slip up and call me mommy around his actual mommy bc she may get mad bc when the conversation came up before she started yelling saying that her boys would never call me mommy. Well bc my fiance's 2 boys call me by my first name our son has started calling me by my first name as well even though I AM his mommy lol so I just want to know, would it be ok to let my fiance's boys call me mommy bc I mean it is our house and the decision is really up to the boys anyway...

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I have read all of your opinions and I appreciate them very much, but I would like to put out there that I never said I wanted his boys to call me mommy bc I know that I am not their bio mom and I know that hearing them call me mommy would hurt her and I am not trying to do that at all. And yes I do correct my son if he calls me by my first name and we turn it into a little game. I would also be very upset if my fiance and I spilt up and he called someone else mommy bc I am the one that carried him for 9 months and gave birth to him, I would also never let him call another man daddy. I myself grew up with step parents, but my step dad took the role as my dad so I called him daddy and I still do to this day even though I have a small relationship with my bio dad. My nickname has always been MoMo growing up anyway so I have no problem with the boys calling me that, we have never actually talked about that name before bc one of the boys actually came up with the name CaCa a few yrs ago and that is what they sometimes call me. And to answer the question that I have been asked numerous times lol I have been in their lives since they were 3 yrs old and right before the younger of the two turned 1 and now they are about to turn 7 and 5 :) Like I said before I greatly appreciate all of your answers and thank you for commenting. You all have given me some great ideas :)

Featured Answers

That is very sweet, but I think it would be confusing if you are all at the same event and this child calls out mommy and the 2 of you do not know who they are talking about.

Also when they speak about mommy to their teachers, friends, other relatives.. they will always have to explain which mommy.

She will always be their mommy, so guide the children to find a different endearing name.

11 moms found this helpful

My sister's kids call their stepdad, Daddy K (his name is Keith)...could they maybe call you Mommy M or Mama M? I definitely would want it to be something that their mom wouldn't resent.

6 moms found this helpful

She is their mommy, they can call you something else, like Momma M.?
Think of an alternative.
I call my MIL "mom" but we are all adults.
I wouldn't want my kids calling anyone else mom or mommy, especially when they were little.

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

That is very sweet, but I think it would be confusing if you are all at the same event and this child calls out mommy and the 2 of you do not know who they are talking about.

Also when they speak about mommy to their teachers, friends, other relatives.. they will always have to explain which mommy.

She will always be their mommy, so guide the children to find a different endearing name.

11 moms found this helpful

look at it like this; if you & your fiance split up and he starts dating someone else, would you be ok with your little guy calling her mommy? I would also take the *real* mommy's feelings into consideration, if she doesn't like it, I would ask her what she would suggest, team work makes for happy homes.

7 moms found this helpful

I don't think they should call you mommy. I know that a lot people will disagree with me, but I think it's disrespectful to their mother. Maybe they can call you "Mama M." or something like that. I just know that if my oldest son had contact with his birth father and called his birth father's wife "mom" I would be livid - that's MY NAME and I earned it, kwim? When my SD was younger, she lived with her mom and her mom's husband and called her step-father "daddy" for a while and it really hurt my husband.

Anyway...my SD lives with us and calls me by my first name. For many years, my oldest son called my husband by his first name. The children who we had together were never confused, and they have always called us "Mommy" and "Daddy." My oldest son's birth father has never been in the picture so over the years my son has grown to call him Dad. My SD's mother isn't in the picture now but we still don't have her calling me Mom.

You already know that this would be a problem for their mother so just come up with something else and avoid creating a problem.

7 moms found this helpful

My sister's kids call their stepdad, Daddy K (his name is Keith)...could they maybe call you Mommy M or Mama M? I definitely would want it to be something that their mom wouldn't resent.

6 moms found this helpful

I would have had a real problem with my kids calling another woman mommy.
Maybe use Ma'M. or something creative like that?

Your own kids will call you by your first name for a bit, my oldest did that at around age 2 or 3 when he heard my friends or my husband call me T.... he called me T.... and it was actually pretty funny. It was a short lived phase tho and we got him back on track.

I guess if you dont care if your child called another woman "mommy" it would be hard for you to see where the dismay could come from. Try to picture it tho...

5 moms found this helpful

I find it interesting that the votes always go down to who is a mom and who is a stepmom. The fact is it will bother me if my kids call my ex's fiance mom. Thing is that is my issue and not that of the kids.

Kids are the innocents in all of this. Let them call you whatever they are comfortable with and don't listen to the moms that are saying kids only have one mom grrrr. Sorry you are insecure but the fact is they do only have one mom and they know it! Wait till they are teens and you find out the full range of names they call their mom! Still won't change how they feel about you!

5 moms found this helpful

Would Monny work? Like "mommy" but with n's instead of m's, and it's like your name but not...

4 moms found this helpful

The decision isn't up to the boys-you need to consider the other parents feelings-how would you feel if your son started calling another lady mommy? You would probably be heartbroken and angry-you and your fiancee need to sit down together and come up with a list of names that you guys like and then let the kids choose.

4 moms found this helpful

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.