89 answers

Seeking Suggestions for Name for First-time Step-Grandmother

My husband and I have been together 7yrs total now (married 4yrs). We don't have any children together. My "Step-kids" call me by my first name and introduce me as "my Dad's wife" or sometimes use my first name in introductions. There obviously are hard feelings due to their parents divorcing a second time (which his kids believe is their first and only divorce) after 29yrs. of marriage. I came in the picture after the last separation, but sometimes that's not what I think the kids believe (that's an issue for another time). Anyway, my Step-son and DIL are absolutely wonderful (he is just like his Dad)and they just had their first child. My husband and I are very excited to be Grandparents for the first time! My dilemma: I don't quite know what to have the baby call me. I have no grandchildren of my own yet and I don't want to step on my husband's Ex-wife's toes (don't know what she plans on having the grandbaby call her). Any suggestions on a name for me other than Grandma?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks for all the wonderful replies! You Ladies are the Best! I haven't decided on a name yet, but you all gave me good suggestions on names as well as suggesting I speak to the "kids" about it (which I will do)and giving me some good advice. Well, I have been sick all week with Bronchitis and was not really able to go see the Grandbaby or new Proud Parents at the hospital last night, but my Husband did go. He called me from there with the baby in his arms and then I got to talk with my Step-Son. Before we got off the phone, I told him I loved them (which I always tell them before getting off the phone) and for the first time ever, he said "We know, we love you too". I was so surprised to hear him say that (even though I have a great relationship with him and the DIL)! This was a huge step in our relationship! When my husband got home and talked to me about his visit and proudly showed me the pics., I told him what his son said to me and he said he heard it and he just smiled (my husband has always told me that he believed in time his children would get to know me and understand why he loves me so and that they would come to accept me - at least one has now). I couldn't be happier. :) The baby was absolutely Beautiful and both Mom & Baby are doing good! Thanks.

Featured Answers

How about the usual 'nanna'? Or maybe nah-nah? 'Nanna Diana' rhymes, is cute & maybe easy for the grandchild to remember. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Children can never have too many people to love them. They are blessed you care so much. Maybe you need to ask the children what they think- if they don't want the baby to call you grandma, maybe nana would work. good luck

1 mom found this helpful

What about a combo between Grandma and Diana? Grandi... It's unique, personal, and certainly won't be taking anything away from any other Grandmas...

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

I have run the gauntlet of being the step-mother in a blended family situation. There were already alot of the other names mentioned, but I was the only me and none of those other names seemed to suit me. So, with the first to the last (there are 12 now) I have been S. Mommy. That's my name with mommy on the end. You could be D-Mommy. It's sweet and personal and not common. As a side note, for my son and daughter (I don't do "step") who had some semblance of awkwardness about what to call me in early years, I'm S.-Mommy to everybody and they feel comfortable with calling me that too.

2 moms found this helpful

How about something that simplifies your name, like DeeDee? Maybe she'll even say it first since it's easier than "Grandma". :-)

My kids call my grandma GG.

2 moms found this helpful

I'm 40 and my dad and step mom (I don't call her that - I just call her by her first name) got together 15 years ago under very similar circumstances to those you described in your situation. My step mom does have other grandkids, but the way we handled it was that my step mom (which would be you in this equation) asked me when I was pregnant or maybe right after our now 22 month old daughter was born what my mom was wanting to be called. I told her she wanted to be called Mimi, and I asked my step mom what she would like to be called. She said I could chose - whatever I wanted, so I suggested "Grammy" because that's what her own daughter's kids call her. To me, my step mom is as much of a grandmother to my daughter as my dad is her grandfather, because that's all she'll ever know. To my daughter, my step mom is not a step grandmother. She doesn't know the history and that my parents were once married, so I tried to look at it from my daughter's perspective - how she would view things growing up. I want her to have the most normalized and best possible support system possible, and that includes all the grandparents who love her. By the way, my step mom cried when I told her I wanted her to be called the same thing as her other grand kids call her. :)

2 moms found this helpful

My grandkids call me Nana but I would suggest just asking the parents what the ex has requested and make your decision from there.
OH, KUDOS to you for considering her (the ex's) feelings in a day and age when most people wouldn't give a flip!

2 moms found this helpful

Truth be told, the baby will call you what he/she wants to call you. None of our grandapernts got what they wanted,, but each loves their name more. As far as for trying, yes, have an idea, but definatly find out what the other two grandmothers will be calleed first.
It has nothing to do with your possibly strained or even if it is a wonderful relationship, but just the polite and respectful thing to do. Blood grandparents get first dibs. JMO.

2 moms found this helpful

You could use part of your first name. I just had my first child in November and she has two grandmas and three great-grandmas and a great-great grandma. Instead of having to figure out which name we would use that would not be the same as what I call my grandmas we just used part of their first names. My mom's name is Marsha and we call her MarMar and my MIL's name is Pam and we call her Pammie. This works since we aleady used Granny, Memaw, MalMa and my husband's grandmother is JJ.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree to let the first Grandmother decide what she would like to be called.. Have an idea of what you would like.. Sometimes.. the child will pick a name for a person later on..

You have a great name. Diana, you could be Gran Di Or Gran Diana, Nana Diana, Gram, Look at other languages.. My mother is Abuelita,(spanish for grandmother) but my daughter calls her Aba.

Or like one of my best friends says, when she has children she wants her children and grandchildren to just call her "Gorgeous".

1 mom found this helpful

My sister's in the same boat. She has her grandchildren call her by a nickname, her initials (DD/deedee). I asked my mil what she wanted to be called, so it wouldn't be wrong to have that conversation with the kids and just explain that you don't want to bother their mother at all and if they had any suggestions. And, you're so excited that they are expecting. The kid may come up with his own name for you, but that way you're expressing your consideration for their own mom, but also showing that you want a term of endearment as well. Don't freak out if they aren't as warm to the idea as you are. Just have the conversation. Or have your husband begin it with you there.

1 mom found this helpful

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