She's Only Six and Doubting Santa

Well, it's like my folks always said, if you believe you get gifts from Santa... if you don't, you don't. We believed up until we lost my folks, the last one passing a few years ago and Santa always brought us a gift... so it's the magic of Christmas for kids.

Sooooooooo, I would tell her what my folks told us... and go from there.

North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD)Is a real agency that tracks Santa on Christmas Eve. You can log onto the site and watch where he is as he goes around the world. You can email and call them and talk to them and ask them too. Check out their site. Google NORAD. This helped my kids keep the magic alive as they keep checking the site all nite and make sure they get in bed before he gets here. I think there are other sites where we have written to Santa in the past too.

We personally do not do the Santa thing. If she's doubting, good for her! She is being logical and working those thinking muscles about possibilities! Sit down with her and explain that she is so smart and she figured out that mom & Dad are Santa, that the 'Spirit of Christmas' is loving and giving. Talk about how using your imagination is healthy and thinking about a Jolly Fat Man in a sleigh being pulled by reindeer through the sky all over the world is an excellent story, how imaginitive it is, but now, mommy and daddy do not want to lie to her. You never want her to doubt your word. This can be such a relationship builder of trust, take the opportunity now, that she can learn (yet still and always), that she can trust you to always be up front and tell her truth. The fantasy is fun, but if she has doubts, don't side-step the issue, help her. And build her imagination.

Good luck, you have a smart one there, she's thinking things through.

D.

Ask her what SHE thinks. If she tells you she already knows Santa is not real, then great: she'll be "in on" the joke for her little sibling! If she has her doubts, dispel them for her. Six is around the age we all found out. My older brother was devastated; myself and my younger brothter didn't care. But if you let HER think it through for herself, she'll love the in-joke part of it next year for her little sis.

I love the idea about tracking Santa on the website!

In my home, we never say "there is no Santa". I have a 13yr old boy who isn't sure about the whole Santa thing. Around the home, he pretends, around his friends...he doesn't, but goes along with whatever. He has never asked me the truth.....I think he doesn't want to know.

It my home it's a "silent knowing", and we keep playing along for his little 7yr old brother.

Your daughter will be told by friends in these upcoming years that there isn't a Santa, so you need to figure out how you will address this in the future.

My responses were always, "what do you think honey?" And I just go from there.........

The magic comes from you and DH. If you are a GREAT Santa, then your magic will last longer no matter what anybody tells your daughter.

Remember, there are different time zones, it IS possible for Santa to travel the globe because of it! Also, watching movies like The Santa Claus is fun because it makes kids really think about the magic of Santa and keeps it real for them.

At 6, she should be good for another 4 yrs! Keep it going Mrs. Claus, I'm sure it will be just fine :o)

Happy New Year!

~N. :O)

My 6-year=old and 9-year-old were asking a lot of specific questions also this year (yes, the 9 year old still believes!) I just kept saying, "I know! it's just magical! There's no one like him!"

I too feel a little odd pretending about all this since I'm usually very reality-based with my kids. But I also remember the special and exciting feeling I got when I was a child and how nothing negative ever came out of that feeling. In fact, I know I was never sad or hurt when I found out that it was my parents. They would still write "from Santa" on the gifts, and then it turned into kind of a joke.

I say if you're comfortable with being vague about the whole situation and want to foster some imagination in your kids, keep it up!

Just my opinion........

Hi L.,
When our boys started asking questions about the reality of Santa....I simply told them that as long as they BELIEVED in a Santa then he would be true.
As they got a lil older thay started asking again...& I was honest (this is how my husband & I FEEL)...that Santa was in your heart, that his is a Spirit of Christmas, and as long as you had the spirit of Christmas, of giving, & showing love to your family & church, then he exsisted. This is still the answer I give to them....they are in thier mid twenties & starting families of thier own now, so they giggle, thinking I'm just trying to be funny.....
But, I still believe......
This year Christmas was a struggle for us. We only got a tree 3 days before, and each child got one small gift.
What I had thought would be a hoorible Christmas turned into a really funny & loving one.All of us opened gifts together this year(usually it is spread across a few hours with people showing up at different times) not this year....we were all together. We attempted to have a cozy fire, and the fireplace backed up & smoke was bellowing in the house (apparently our flew is blocked) all our eyes were watering etc...my livingroom still smells like smoke...but Santa was there!!! for me anyway.
Don't worry too much, hopefully by next year she will have forgotten all about it.....
Good Luck & Happy New Year.....

You know your child best so go with your instincts. I think being honest with her, asking what she thinks, and exploring the historical/cultural aspects of Santa and being generous to others is a good start. And whether or not she'll be "devastated" could depend a bit on what you all decide is "the truth" about Santa - if we define the "truth" as just "there's no such person as Santa" then yeah, that could be seen as a downer, but if we expand the definition to something like "there's no ONE person who is Santa, but countless people who have been inspired by the Santa story to be kind and generous to others, and it sounds like you're old enough and mature enough to graduate from being a little child who believes Santa will give you gifts to being a big kid who will help "be Santa" to others. So this can be our 'big kid' secret, your little sister can keep believing Santa is just one person until she's ready to learn the secret".

My gut feeling is that kids will come to their understanding when they're ready - I personally think that the whole Santa thing is a bit overdone in our contemporary culture (I get a little weary of seeing that red-suited guy all over the place in advertisements, decorations, and seasonal product packaging. plus in this day and age, there's something downright creepy in the notion of some old fellow who 'sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake' :-p) so I actually thought I'd try to initiate a Santa discussion with my 8YO twins this year, telling them about how the historical figure of St Nicholas had evolved into the Santa figure that we know today, asking them if they had ever wondered how Santa could do all those deliveries in one night and do you think he has helpers (one of my girls correctly guessed that parents are often Santa's helpers), and that they were old enough to be in on the 'secret' about Santa- that the 'magic' of Santa was like that of many beloved fictional stories, something that inspires people to do good deeds.

The result? The one who had previously complained of a tummyache asked to be excused, and the other one asked if she could leave a note and a bowl of clementine tangerines for Santa next year, because he really shouldn't be eating so many cookies. I'm ready to be done with Santa, but clearly they don't want to let go just yet and my hubby says just let them, at their age fantasy and reality still get intermingled a lot :-)

We have always told our children You must believe to recieve... And we don't get to many questions, especially on Christmas morning when they have those special gifts ;)

I tell my son, "you must believe to recieve"

Granted, my only kid is just a baby but since I was once a kid I guess I'll share my experience. When I was five or six I cornered my Mom and asked her to tell me truth and then asked if there is a Santa Claus. She teared up, told me she was sorry and said no. I then asked about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I was upset, but frankly more disappointed and sort of unsettled that folks had not been truthful. I'm not emotionally scarred from this, and I continued to believe in unicorns and fairies and delight in Christmas. Good luck to you and remember that whatever she thinks about Santa, it is the magic of the season that she will probably never grow out of if you share a lot of joy throughout it :)

My daughter is seven and has been asking a lot of questions this year. Some of her friends at school are altready telling her he's not real. I made up answers and we watched Santa Clause is Coming to Town together. I feel horrible lying to her. I remember I was so hurt when I found out the truth because I felt so betrayed. I don't want her to feel that. My husband even said he felt uncomfortable because she looks to us for the truth and we are not giving it to her. But like others who responded, I don't want to stop the magic yet. She is still so young and it is such a great feeling when you believe. I am torn as to where to go with this.

I would answer her questions honestly. It might be more devastating to learn that you lied to her than to learn that there is no Santa.

He's not real. And to force her to believe just to get gifts is silly.

maybe she senses your 'odd' feelings about the whole thing? i have a newly minted 7 year old and i know what you mean. mine asks alot of tough questions too, and i feel funny about lying to her, so i flip it around and ask her what she thinks about it all. for example... "mommy, just how does santa get down the chimney anyway?", so i say, "hmmm... what do you think sweetie?", and i let her go on with it.

for more specific stuff, like "how does he get all over the world in one night?", i got on the computer and explained how time zones worked. or this christmas,she asked me just how do the presents from granny, aunties, and uncles get to us. well, we don't put presents under the tree til she goes to bed, so she wakes up and 'santa has been here. so for that question we say that santa picks 'em up on the way. but wait, i remember her being here last week when a box came for her and i just told her the truth. that auntie so and so just wanted to send it to make sure she got it. "why when santa can get it from her...?". well sweetie, as you know, santa gets pretty busy, so he needs our help...".

yeah, she askes A LOT of questions, and the older i get, the harder it is to think fast on my feet, lol!!!

hope this helps!

angela ;P