IS 6 Too Old to Believe in Santa?

Updated on October 19, 2008
T.C. asks from Peru, NY
53 answers

My six year old son Matthew, who is in first grade, came home yesterday and asked me if Santa Claus was real because some of the kids in his class said Santa is pretend. I didn't know what to say! He is only six! I thought I had at least 2 years left before the other kids ruined it for us. So I told Matthew that some kids just don't believe in Santa. I also told him that some families don't have God in their lives and by not having God they also don't have Santa. We are not an overly religious family, but that's how I was brought up and I believed in Santa until I was 12 and my Mom had to tell me otherwise. So I'm just wondering if I should give up the whole thing right now and tell him the truth, or is it ok to keep him believing and what should I tell him? I also have a three year old, and I'm sure if Matthew knew the truth he would tell the little one. HELP!

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So What Happened?

I want to thank everyone for their advice and I'm sorry if I offended some of you. My son took my word for it when I told him that Santa is in fact real, and I absolutely believe that is true. For those of us who are believers, Santa does exist in our hearts regardless of what others may think or say. If my son asks again, which I'm sure he will at some point in the future, I will take the time to explain to him how different cultures celebrate. We do have and watch The Polar Express every Christmas season, and it's true that it is a perfect way to explain it. I'm also trying to make our God a bigger part of my kids lives and that may be why I explained it to him that way. We are catholic. I also want to say that I in no way feel that telling my kids that there is a Santa is a lie or in the future will cause them not to trust me. I never felt that way about my parents. I would also hope that all of the non-believers out there would tell there children not to spoil it for others, as it is what some families choose to believe and practice. So thanks again for all the advice, and in most cases support. I'll keep it in mind for the future!

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M.C.

answers from Providence on

I have an eight year old step son and he still believes in Santa. I would let him believe in it for as long as he does. Santa is what gets kids excited for Christmas. I think they way you answered it was perfect.

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I.C.

answers from Boston on

My daughter is going to be 10 this december and she still believes in santa if she knows that its really us she kept it a secret. so I dont think 6 is to old

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J.W.

answers from Boston on

My son also in first grade asked me the same question. What I asked him was what do you think? I just kept putting it back on him. He decided that Santa was real because he gives him gifts that mommy and daddy couldn't/ wouldn't. Let him have his fantasy a bit longer if possible.

Good Luck

J.

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M.D.

answers from Burlington on

Hi T.,

I don't recall at what age my 9 year old stopped believing in Santa. Maybe when he was 7. I also have a 6 year old.

I don't like to lie to my children. It's hard for me to do the Christmas and Easter ruses. What a trick! I was not impressed when I asked my mother if it was true after my cousin laughed at me that I still believed in all those type characters: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy. I had felt betrayed.

I turn the question around to them when they ask if there is such things as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. "What do you think and why?" It makes them think about why they believe in what they believe.

I have told them that there is no such thing as magic, just tricks/illusions. My 6 year old figured out when he was 5 that there was no such thing as the Easter bunny because rabbits can't carry baskets.

He loves the Santa Claus movies. He believes that's how it is. I'm waiting for him to put the ideas that there is no such thing as magic and that magic is what is necessary for Santa to do his job together to come to the realization that there is no such thing as Santa Claus as is represented by the guy in the red suit who delivers presents.

There WAS a real Santa Claus many years ago. Santa translates into Saint. Claus is the nickname of the full name, Nicholas. Saint Nicholas was a Catholic bishop who helped a poor family by throwing a bag of money through their window so that they would have money for doweries for their daughters so that they could marry.

So I've told my eldest son that just because something may seem real, and that lots of other people believe it, doesn't mean that it is real. He needs to use reason to figure out if something is possible or impossible and whether or not to believe it.

It's so wonderful to believe that this wonderful stranger loves you so much and brings you presents. It's so hurtful to find out that you've been tricked. But it can be used as a lesson that one needs to be be wary of people/things/ideas that are too good to be true. That's my opinion.

This Christmas-time I'm expecting the conversation to come up again. I think he'll probably figure it out this year.

My eldest son didn't ruin it for his younger brother. I reminded him how much fun he had believing in Santa. He did get impatient and wanted me to tell his brother. After the holiday passed he forgot about it. I told him that his little brother needed to figure it out for himself just like he did.

Good luck!
: ) Maureen

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

One of the many milestones in a child's life is finding out about stories that may not be completely true in the literal sense - there's Santa, there's the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and many others. There's no rule about how long they believe. I remember finding out in first grade and feeling stupid that I hadn't known, but I also have a 9 year old grandson who still believes, and I wouldn't take it from him. Once they DO know, it's important to stress that they enjoyed the story for a long time, and now that they are older, they don't have the right to take the joy out of it for the younger ones. You can ask him what he thinks. If he decides to keep believing, fine. If he decides he doesn't any longer, then enlist his help as a big boy in keeping the secret for the younger child. HE shouldn't be the one to burst someone's bubble.

Now, as for people not having God in their lives and therefore not having Santa, I think that is very inflammatory and bound to cause problems especially because it is not true. There are MANY MANY people who believe in God, including many devout people, who do not celebrate Christmas and do not believe in Santa. They are called Jews and Muslims and Hindus!! Jews (of which I am one) and Muslims believe in the same God as do Christians but do not believe in Jesus as Divine. The Hebrew Scriptures are the same as the Protestant Old Testament, although some of the books are grouped in a different order. Muslims believe that Jesus was a prophet, and Muslims trace their ancestry to Abraham's son by Hagar, Ishmael, while Jews and Christians trace their ancestry to Abraham's son by Sarah, Isaac. Muslims have a different holy book but many of their traditions and stories come from similar roots. I am no expert on Hinduism or other Eastern religions, but many of them DO include a worship of an Eternal and Universal deity.

When my son was little, I never told him there was no Santa, because I didn't want him to tell another Christian child that. So, I told him that, as Jews, we didn't celebrate Christmas and we didn't ask Santa to come to our house. I told him that Christians didn't celebrate Hanukkah or Rosh Hashanah or Passover, and that Muslims had other holidays such as Eid. Many African Americans celebrate Kwanzaa. We got a book from the library on different cultures and holidays so that I could be sure our information was accurate. My son had a funny view of things - one day we drove down the street, and he started pointing out which houses were Jewish and which were Christian. I asked him how he could tell, and he pointed to the chimney caps that keep out squirrels and raccoons, and said he knew they were "Santa Caps" that Jews put up to signal Santa to pass by and go to the next house! I thought that was great!

In this day and age of wonderfully diverse schools and neighborhoods, it is really important to use the right terminology and to engender understanding and respect for other religions. We need to build bridges, not barriers. We need to share with our children the universal truths and values that are shared by all, while celebrating our own religion's unique beliefs, customs and traditions. For example, your child might be interested in all the various versions of "Santa" in different countries, and the customs that come from it. Christmas is celebrated differently in Mexico, for example, than in Frantz. Gifts in Nigeria and many other countries are NOT exchanged on Dec. 25th, but on the 26th (Boxing Day) and the subsequent days up until Epiphany. In Spain, there are huge parades on Epiphany (Jan 6th). St. Nicholas, Sinter Klaas, and others are based on some legends, at least partly true, of people doing extraordinary things in the name of charity. It's a good way to work some family charity project in the holiday season if that suits your family as well. It's a way to teach children that God is in all of us and works through us.

Good luck!

I think it's perfectly okay, when a child asks a question like that, for you to ask what THEY think and how they feel about what they've heard, and then take some time yourself to think about how you're going to respond.

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J.R.

answers from Boston on

I agree with Diana's response. My family is pretty religous (Catholic) and we have told our 5 year old that Santa is not real because he asked. Santa isn't Jesus or God so not believing in Santa does not equal not believing in God. We made the decision that when he asked, we wouldn't lie to him. To us, when a child is old enough to question Santa, it is because they are realizing that not everyone believes in Santa or something doesn't jive with the story. We didn't want our son to be confused by not telling him the truth. We didn't want him to think that some children don't get gifts from Santa because they aren't good when the truth is they didn't get gifts because their families can't afford it. As for your concern that your child may tell others, we told our son that Santa is a game and that some people play the game and some don't. We told him he was old enough to know that it is a game but some children don't know it is a game and he shouldn't spoil it. He actually liked the idea that he knew something other kids didn't- I think it made him feel grown up. When we talked about Santa we would look at our son and he would have a smile on his face. Finally, there was NO lack of excitement in our Christmas last year. Our son was very excited about the celebration of the day and, of course, the presents!! We still had gifts from Santa (we have a 3 year old too) but our 5 year old knew they were really from us.
Good luck with your decision.

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L.S.

answers from New London on

I'm not sure you should tell your son that "some families don't have God in their lives and by not having God they also don't have Santa," because it could be just the opposite. And, I don't think you meant it the way it was perceived ... but some families have God in their lives and choose not to believe in Santa and some kids have parents that wish their kids believed in Santa, they just just found out by accident that there isn't a Santa. By telling your son that some families don't have God in their lives isn't right, you aren't really sure what the other's families believe in. They just may celebrate different holidays. In the philippines they believe the three wise men leave gifts for the kids on Jan. 6. Three Kings Day, so perhaps there may not be a Santa, but there still is the belief of God and Christmas time. the Jewish faith believes in God, just not Santa Clause. Just let your son know that different families celebrate the holidays in different special ways. My niece is 11 and still believes in Santa. I stopped believing in Santa probably at 6 or so because I found all of the gifts in the closet. But I did still kind of believe in Santa for a long time.

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N.D.

answers from Hartford on

Kids believe what they want to believe, whether deep inside they know otherwise. I still tell my kids that there is a Santa and they are 15 and 17! I have always told them that when they stop believing in Santa, the Christmas magic is gone. I am Santa during the Christmas season. Santa doesn't have to be an outside person. You are not lying when you say there is a Santa, because you are taking on the Santa role during the Christmas season, they just don't have to know about it.
I have always told my kids when they have come home after being told my some other kids that there is no Santa that what other kids believe has nothing to do with our family. Period. When they ask if I believe in Santa, I say YES, because in my heart I know I am their Santa. Of course at my kids age I still say that their is a Santa, but they know it is me.

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B.D.

answers from Boston on

Keep the magic alive for him! My seven year old has started to repeat some stuff she's heard at school and we've done our best to quash her doubts and be convincing about it (love your response and will be borrowing it!). We get a kick out of making the magic real, espcially when she's not in the room but within listening distance ("hey honey, did you see the news earlier? Someone got a report that Santa's going to try out some new bells on his sled this year - wonder what they'll sound like?"). That part of Christmas keeps us young too!

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T.F.

answers from Boston on

What a tough situation! I've worried about how I'd handle this since before I had children! Now that I do, I'm hoping that I've chosen the right way.

When I was a child, we were told the whole Santa thing until my sister (who was 5 and a year older than me) started questioning my mother about him. My mother fielded the questions quite well until my sister asked why he didn't visit the poor people. My mother said her heart broke and she thought back to how betrayed and angry she felt when she found out (she didn't find out until she was almost 12). She was also worried that if she continued the lie, maybe someday we'd start to think that we'd been lied to about God too. Anyway, she told us the truth but everyone in my family still acted like Santa was real, including us. I remember still waiting up with my sister to see if we could see Santa's sled pass in front of the moon and run outside to see if we could find traces of his sleigh in the snow. I believed her but it was just such fun to pretend that we conitnued to do it. And we couldn't help but have a small part of us wonder if she was wrong and everyone else was right. She also made it very clear that we were to keep this secret to ourselves out of respect to the other families. Growing up, I always appreciated her honesty. I knew that I could always count on her to be completely open and honest with me and that she was always acting in my best interest - no matter what. It really helped me later in my teen years that I felt I could trust her so much - more than I could even trust my friends because she was always steady and loyal.

So now I have two children and it's a struggle. I want to be to them like my mother was to me but at the same time, I can understand the pull that as parents we go through. There is nothing like that joy and wonder on your child's face. It does warm your heart. I've tried to be honest with my kids about the reality of Santa from the start (I know it's an unpopular opinion) and at the same time I do still allow them to pretend or "believe". A strange mix, I know. Sometimes when we're talking about it I just say that something like "you know that Santa is really all of the people who love you" and then I just drop it. Other times when we're talking about it I explain to them that even though it's not "real" everyone enjoys to pretend and that everyone likes to pretend so much that it can feel very real, just like they do with their babies (which they get very into and treat as if they were real). I want them to know in their hearts that they can always trust and count on me and I think that this is an important part of that - it's a very important issue to children. Also, our Christianity is very important and I don't want God and Jesus to take a back seat to Santa (which to a small child is very difficult if there's a jolly man giving out the best presents ever). I also tell them that the Christmas presents that people give is in honor of Jesus' birthday.

The only other thing that I would add is that if you decide to continue the route you're on (which I'm not saying is wrong at all) then I would try to re-explain your answer just to make sure that your child isn't equating the realness of Santa with the realness of God. Someday he'll figure out Santa isn't real and you wouldn't want him to doubt God's existence too (because that's also taken on faith - we can't see Him or touch Him either).

It's just my opinion/experience and I'm not an expert. I hope that I'm doing the right thing by my children, as I'm sure you are too. And I hope that you're able to find some advice that works! Good question - I have often wondered how other people handle this situation and I was interested to read their responses as well.

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J.R.

answers from Springfield on

I think what you said was wonderful, I have an 8 year old and he still believes, Now I know what to say when I get the question presented to me. I think children should believe as long as they can and that if other children are telling him different then you need to teach your child not to go by what other people say but what he thinks. :)

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J.D.

answers from Boston on

My sister was 6 when she found out the truth and she immediately told me...I was 3! So, I never even had a chance to believe, but to this day (I'm 35 now) I LOVE Christmas!! It's still a wonderful time of year, whether you believe or not, so don't sweat it! (Also...my sister was VERY angry with my parents and grandparents for "lying" about the whole thing for 6 years...)

I have my own children now, and my oldest (now 5) has been questioning Santa from the start. I'm sure to never actually lie about it...I speak as though Santa exists within all of us. That way, he's sort of real??

Good luck & happy holidays!!

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B.B.

answers from Boston on

I think if he is asking he knows the truth but is hoping he is wrong. I remember being in 2nd grade and kids telling that Santa was not real. I went home very upset and asked my mom. She told me they were wrong there was such a thing as Santa. I kept asking her until she finally told me the truth. Then of course it led to the Easter bunny and tooth fairy. I am the oldest of 3 so my mom let me help her every Christmas to be Santa for my brother and sister and I promised not to tell them. Good luck. : )

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K.C.

answers from Boston on

We just lost our son to "the other side" (!) after last xmas he was 9. We strung him along as long as we could. I would keep it going. When you finally do tell him, make him part of the secret...to protect the little one! MAkes it more fun. We'll see how THIS xmas goes.... Good luck!

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N.D.

answers from Boston on

My son is 7 he has asked me last year and again this year
It is true it because the other kids ruin it.
I explained to him also that Christmas is Jesus birthday and the wiseman and all the followers brought gifts to the newborn King.
That God and Santa and mommy work together to make sure you were a good boy all year .
I said who told you that there is not a Santa?
I said that santa is one of Gods workers and so is mommy and daddy and family and friends.
We all provide you gifts to celebrate the birth of Christ.
He knows that i do put some under the tree . not all of them
so he still believes
Keep them as innocent as long as you can!
Soon enough he will really know and appreciate it more as he is older that we have done this for him as a Celebration of love and joy that Jesus was born and a time of family to reflect how Thankful and lucky we are to be able to share them together.

Hope that helps . Good luck!

From N.

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E.C.

answers from Providence on

I teach sixth grade and I feel like most of the kids I teach are just figuring it out. Most have figured it out but still want to believe at this point. There is a developmental stage that hits between 11 and 12 years old where kids start better understanding the difference between real and fantasy, start being able to do abstract thinking, etc. This is why sarcasm doesn't make sense to little kids -- they haven't reached this stage yet. Because my students are all in this stage, I get a lot of questions about Santa around Christmas time. Obviously I have to be careful because I don't know what families feel about it. Usually I am asked if I believe and I always say: "Of course I believe, if I don't believe he'll stop bringing me presents." The kids always laugh and ask if i still get presents from Santa and I tell them that of course I do because I still believe. That usually puts an end to it. It is nice to have something good, something magical to believe in!

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A.F.

answers from Providence on

You have received many comments on this. As a teacher and a parent, let him believe. He is still young and you do not want to ruin this for your younger child. Keep it going on and explain as you did about believing in something. I have third grade students that believe in Santa as well. As long as he understands the real meaning of Christmas, let him relish in the moment of Santa. Polar Express is an awesome book. Please share that with your family.

Have a great holiday!

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J.E.

answers from Boston on

Hi,

I think 6 is WAY too young to know that Santa is "pretend." I too was 12 when I found out and I was devasted. I do not however agree with you telling him that God and Santa go hand in hand. The last thing you want is for him to turn around to kids and tell them they don't believe in God because they don't believe in Santa... you are letting him do the same thing that the kids are doing to him. I think that you should have just left it at "some kids just don't believe" and that is that. I also agree that your 6 year old would tell your 3 year old so I would wait a couple of years before letting him in on the whole Santa thing. That way he'll be a little older and more apt to be able to keep it a "secret" still from your younger one.

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D.S.

answers from Boston on

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! My children are 30, 22 and 19 and I've never once said to them that Santa's not real! I would tell mine as little children "Of course there's a Santa". When they got a little older I'd simply tell them that I believe in Santa and I always will, which is true. In the true meaning of Christmas we're all Santa's when we donate to a charity or give another child a gift. Our children grow up so very quickly these days, what with elementary school aged kids taking drugs and getting pregnant, please allow him to have his fantasies for as long as possible. He'll figure it all out on his own.

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J.A.

answers from Boston on

My daughter is 6 and still believes. I believe in keeping the Santa thing going for as long as possible, once it is over its over and it is such a wonderful thing. I think my neighbor's son still believes and he just turned 9.

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A.B.

answers from Boston on

I'm sure you've gotten a ton of responses, but I wanted to add my two cents. My daughter asked the same at about the same age. I don't like to lie to her so I asked what she thought. I think she still wants to believe, and she said she thought the other kids were wrong and we left it at that. She will be 9 this Christmas and I think she has it just about figured out, but she still really wants to believe, so she won't admit it. I believe when she's ready to outgrow Santa, she'll tell me. At that point I will make sure she knows not to crush others faith! It's such a shame when kids ruin it for others although I don't think they always do it to be malicious! I hope you have a magical holiday, no matter what you decide!

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V.C.

answers from Providence on

Hi T.,
my daughter is almost six and has many questions about whether these characters are "real" and specifically how it is that they accomplish these tasks like fairies bringing money and men coming down chimneys. she's just lost two teeth in the past two weeks so this is very relevant around here! i always thought before i was a mom that i would skip the whole sham and just be honest, but then santa was introduced to her by the media and school friends and it all snowballed..but really i am glad that it did. we enjoy making up the details together, like how it is that that tiny little fairy can sneak under her pillow when she is sleeping..she gets great joy from the stories and the magic, and i tell her that it is just that..we believe in magical, beautiful stories and enjoy the accompanying holiday rituals and especially the brief time in our lives when we can believe in these things. i don't lie to her, i say they are not 'real" like she and me; i explain that they are "real" in our hearts, (like so many other intangible things in our lives)..

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S.T.

answers from Burlington on

Hi T.~

My daughter (11) just stopped believing in Santa, The Easter Bunny and Toothfairy this past spring. She had been asking about it for a couple of years but I always turned her question back on her and asked her what she believed. I would also tell her the same things you've told your son about people having different beliefs. Like you, I really wasn't ready for her to lose that childhood belief so I encouraged her to stick with what she believes regardless of what others were saying they believed or didn't believe. I waited, to tell her the truth, until I felt she was starting to figure out the logical reasons why Santa couldn't possibly be real . I also have a younger son (7) and needed her to understand the importance of not telling her brother.

I would encourage you to help him believe as long as you possibly can and don't confirm his disbelief if you are afraid he will tell your youngest. Your confrimation will make it more believable for your little one if your oldest does tell him.

Good luck!

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L.B.

answers from Boston on

6 is not to old to believe in Santa. I have 3 children (now teens) who all believed up to the ages between 11 and 12.

When my middle was in first grade, a little girl told him there was no Santa and it was parents who put out presents. This child was Christian and they chose not to believe in Santa in her household. My son came home and told me she said this and that another little boy (who happened to be Jewish) agreed. He was very upset. I let him do all the talking and he finally told me he felt sad for them because if their parents were giving them gifts, they were missing out on the great Santa gifts by not believing in him! :)

My eldest came home at 7 (a gifted child) and explained why Santa couldn't be real...he needed tangible proof. I found a book called "Flight of the Reindeer" it had photos, albeit touched up photos, of flying reindeer and 'proof' of the North Pole headquaters and reasons we couldn't see it (its always shifting up there)..that was enough for him for another 5 yrs of Santa belief!

I agree with the others that telling your child that those who don't have God in their lives don't have Santa isn't the best choice in words. Telling your child about the special ways in which people celebrate and teaching him about diversity is a better approach..there are so many fun stories at the library you could find to read together.

Good luck to you

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L.L.

answers from Burlington on

i feel for you, my daughter is 6 and in 1st grade, and i am so afraid kids will ruin it! i say that 6 is not too old to believe, it makes christmas so much more magical. don't tell him, keep him believing as long as possible, reality hits them too soon as it is!
good luck to you!
L.

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J.R.

answers from Boston on

Hi, I have to tell you, my children (16 & 10) believe!! Not neccesarily in "Santa", but they believe!! That's the magic. I have never told them that Santa doesn't exist - in those exact words. When questioned, I said I believe in Santa and he is magic and magic is what happens on Christmas morning. Good luck! J.

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L.S.

answers from Hartford on

You did perfect but i would let it be until he presses the conversation again. Since its october you can bet he will ask you again a few times, but i would still not tell and let the magic of christmas go on as long as possible..

I have 3 teens and there is still that aura on christmas morning, like they don't believe anymore but they can't believe what the living room looks like and that they did not heard me of course putting it all together for hours while they slept

Once the kids get in school its all over even for the tooth fairy and the easter bunny.

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K.M.

answers from Boston on

I have an eight year old soon to be nine who still believes. When the kids told him at school I just told him I believed in Santa and suggested that how could I get all of those gifts for him and his three sisters. Keep it going as long as you can they grow up way too fast.

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T.S.

answers from Boston on

My daughter is friends with children who either don't celebrate Christmas, or whose parents only started celebrating Christmas, often only in the most commercial sense, upon moving to this country. I think your explanation is great (I completely disagree with the responder who thinks you are setting your son up for disappointment! but I'm sure she ahs her reasons and means well too.) I've explained to my daughter that each culture has different holidays that they celebrate and that Santa does not visit every child, not out of meanspiritness but rather out of respect for that families beleifs, just like we repect our Jewish, Muslim, Hindu and Buddist friends (or any other group that does not celebrate Christmas) and their beliefs, Santa does too. She was in Kindergarten the first time she asked about it. As someone who loves to celebrate Christmas I hope this explanation tides her over for another few years but . . . . . it definitely gets tougher the older she gets! Good luck.

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M.T.

answers from Boston on

I don't think that you should give it up. Not just yet!
kids grow up way too early these days. We should try to hold to what innocence we can. I have 4 children. My oldest was 13 (now 25) when she learned the truth. She was devastated when she found out. She actually was angry with me. But I knew that when she got older she would understand. My third was 14. Kids say what they want, but I think because my passion for the story of Santa was so real, it was stronger than anything that the other children said in school. I liked your response to your son. You did a great job. It is a shame that other parents do not tell their children "not to share that secret" with other kids in school if they opt to tell them early on. When I was a little girl my father told me a story of a man (Santa) who actually made toys for under privileged children and he would deliver them at night. He was from a country very far away,(I can't remember the name of the country now). It got so hard for him with so many children in so many surrounding communities, that he decided to only deliver at one time of the year. Then the story was spread through out the world. It was too much for one man to handle, so he asked the parents to help.My father told me that the story was true. I believed him, sometimes I still do. We are not overly religious either; however we always talked about the importance of Jesus as well. My children also knew that on Christmas we celebrated the birth of Jesus.
I say keep it going for as long as you can. I wish you the best of luck!

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X.D.

answers from Boston on

Wow.... Don't you hate to see the magic gone? I think we're in such a rush for our kids to grow up these days.... I have told my kids that I am 100 percent sure that there IS a Santa Claus and I am not fibbing. They don't need to know that Santa is me yet! Take care. Your little one will believe any way because 3's are all about magic and wonder! P.S. When they do get older, let them be "Santa's Helpers," too!

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C.G.

answers from Portland on

How I handled Santa was to ask my sons what they believed when they asked me if he was real. At nine, my oldest still believes even though most of his class doesn't. His idea of who or what Santa is has evolved over the years. He knows that Santa is a 'spirit' like giving and goodwill toward all men- yet every Christmas, he eagerly awaits what's under the tree. I think that you should find out what he believes and then explain it from there.

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L.W.

answers from Boston on

My daughter asked the same thing - i did what a friend suggested. I asked her what SHE thought, if SHE thought he was real. She never asked again! She still believes!

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L.D.

answers from Boston on

hi,i cant believe at 6 some of his friends are saying that to your son.what you told him is perfect.i would hold out telling him the truth for as long as possible.my daughter is five and i would be very upset if someone told her.i cant believe these other kids are ruining it for your son,thats kids i suppose anyway good luck

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J.A.

answers from Boston on

Hi T.,

I have two girls ages 7 and 9 and they still believe or at least pretend they do. Santa is part of the magic of Christmas. I have two older children as well, ages 22 and 29 and I don't ever remember telling them outright there was no Santa. Of course they know a man in a red suit doesn't come and bring their gifts but they still play along because it is part of the fun.

Your son is just naturally curious, I wouldn't put Santa in the same category as God though. Eventually he WILL realize Santa is part of his imagination. But, God is very real and you would hate for him to think of God this way.

I simply say when questioned that alot of people don't believe in Santa, but I choose to believe. I explained that the same as the Puff The Magic Dragon story you keep him alive by believing. My little ones were very satisfied with this answer and they did get it. They understood how the magic of the imagination of a small child can bring many things to life.

Best Wishes.

J. L.

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K.P.

answers from Boston on

Hi!

My children are 10, 8 and 2! They ALL till believe!

Every family had there own customs, traditions and beliefs and that is okay. We explain to our children that Santa is real, but rarely seen-- he has many helpers and some of those helpers are very special Daddy's. We have a neighbor who rec'vs a visit from Santa and Santa mouse... it is all what you want for your family!

A great book is The Polar Express! it is about some kids that get it and some that don't! Give it a try! Best to you!

BELIEVE!!! Have a GREAT holiday!

K

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E.B.

answers from Boston on

The way my dad put it and still does, if you don't believe, he won't come. If you make it special for your son and exciting, he will believe in the spirit and believe in Santa. I think 6 is too young to take this away. We have too many things to worry about later in life that these things need to be preserved for as long as possible.

I like your analogy with the reference to God. Not everyone believes in everything, this is what makes us different.

Good Luck!

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

I wouldn't tell him. He's still young enough to believe and it's such a wonderful thing for them to believe in. My nephew figured it out and told his brother but, I told him it was okay for him to still believe and sometimes big kids don't believe anymore. If he still feels in his heart it's true its okay. I think he still believes and he's 12. I still believe in Santa, he's come and left some wonderful presents for me and my girls. I'm a single mom and it really helped me out. I get tired of buying myself something for Christmas. If he does decide that he doesn't believe make sure you have a talk with him and tell him he can't tell his brother. Good luck.

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K.D.

answers from Barnstable on

When my 8 year old asked this in front of my 5 year old, my husband said, "as soon as you stop believing in Santa, he stops bringing you gifts." She clamped her hand over her mouth and then said, "I believe!" I don't think she really does (she knows the tooth fairy is me, but pretends she doesn't know) but I think she'd like to hold onto the fairy tale awhile longer. They had a vote in school last year (orchestrated by one of the boys who doesn't believe) about who believed and who didn't. The girls were the only ones who raised their hands that they still believed. That was second grade.

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A.M.

answers from Boston on

In this day and age it is a wonderful gift for us to let our children have imaginations and fantasies. Please don't take that away from your child. In time he will realize what Santa is and what he represents, a childhood innocence at Christmas time.

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S.

answers from Boston on

This is a few days late but here goes...

In our house, Santa is real if you believe. Like the Polar Express Story. I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, because then he really will suspect something. And our house doesn't believe in God, but we do believe in Santa. My husband and I even do...to a certain extent. It is the magical experience of Christmas, the gift of giving, the togetherness, and the love. Santa may not really visit our house as the story says, but he is in our hearts!

Have him watch the Polar Express...that is the true meaning of Christmas and Santa!

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A.W.

answers from Boston on

No it's not too old, I had my daugther believing until she was 10! I wouldn't make a big deal out of it and tell him his friends don't know what they are talking about and by telling "fibs" like that Santa won't come to their house! Be creative and remember it's all in the magic of believing that makes it so special! The other kids must have older siblings so just don't let him know your worried and play the game!

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T.A.

answers from Providence on

My son is 8 and still believes. I figure I am going to let him figure it out for himself. He also said something at 7 about other kids not believing and I pretty much told him the same thing as you did.He is happy with believing so I'm leaving it at that.He'll figure it out and I'm sure he'll be fine.T.

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M.B.

answers from Hartford on

Both my 6 and 9 year old still very much believe in Santa and I like to keep it that way. I think you should let him keep believing. They grow up so fast.

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C.K.

answers from Boston on

No way is 6 too old to believe in santa! Why is it that every year kids seem to know younger and younger that their is no santa, tooth fairy, ect.? Poor kid he is only 6. I think you did the right thing & let him think what he wants. Yes usually by 8-10 is when they find out or just don't believe on their own anymore. I was 10 a little old I think to find out. So by 9 anyway they should still believe and enjoy. By the way shame on those jerk kids for telling him santa is make believe! Shame on the parents actually, parents should be better about telling their children not to ruin for others. I knew a little girl who never believed in santa because her mom & dad told her as soon as she was old enough to understand there was no santa. The reason being is the parents are Christian (so am I though) & they did not want their child not knowing the true meaning of Christmas & also that Santa=Satan & the mother also said I work hard to buy those gifts I want her to know they came from us not someone who isn't real. I think that is a shame, let kids be kids.
I am also a Christian & my son will know the true meaning of Christmas, know that some gifts are from mom & dad as well as santa and believe in Santa as well.

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S.T.

answers from Boston on

Try reading books like the Polar Express with him. It is about a little boy who is told that Santa isn't real, and what he believes. I would go with what your son wants. Ask him what he thinks. If he still believes, and you are obviously OK with that, then let him. What is the harm in believing in something wonderful for a little longer?

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C.W.

answers from Portland on

The longer Santa can stay alive in his heart the better. My kids are also long believers in Santa, but we homeschool so we do not get as much ...negative behaviour about Santa. Some homeschool families do not do Santa at all but are pretty respectful of those who do. Here is a a funny story though..One year on December 6th we had stopped by a friend's house to pickup/drop off/stop in for something. Our four kids played with their 5 or so kids then we left. Later that night after the kids had been sent to bed, I noticed their shoes neatly placed outside their bedroom doors, and in frustration asked them, why are your shoes out here? Put them in your room!
'Mom' they replied 'The B's told us about St. Nick day and if we leave our shoes out St. Nicholas will come and fill them tonight! ' Oh I replied, now I understand...
Dang those friends!
DH was still out and I sent out a quick call to him and St. NIck did arrive that night...(Just barely) and each year the kids do this now and I still get caught off guard!

It is a now a joke in our homeschooling group about letting our kids play with others during the season, for legends are not lost but added!

Good luck!
C. W
www.MyHomeCottageBiz.com

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J.Z.

answers from Boston on

Hello
I have four kids and the oldest is 7. I hope they never stop believing! I strongly disagree with the poster who said that you were "sheltered". In this world today our kids grow up so fast. Why make it any quicker? I remember when I found out...I wasn't disappointed!! If anything, I had a whole new respect for my parents that they were willing to put all that hard work in to Christmas and not get any of the credit. In my family I have such wonderful memories from Christmas morning. I only hope my children will feel the same way!

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M.G.

answers from Boston on

I have a nephew who is in 5th grade and still believes in Santa. Don't spoil the fun. My son is now in 2nd grade (8) and last year almost all kids in his class still believed. He would tell me that one kid didn't believe and everyone else was like "what's wrong with that kid?!" 6 is DEFINIELY not too old! I plan on letting my kids believe for many yrs (my daughter in isn Kindergarten) and I think most kids in the neighborhood still believe too (through 5th grade). It is something fun and joyful to believe in why let them deal with realitly too soon?!!!

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B.M.

answers from Boston on

My nine year old twins still believe! They also believe in the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. I think it's just fine. They know that others don't believe, but I take the tact like in the book, The Polar EXpress-some kids are afraid to, especially when they're older, but it's up to them what they want to believe.

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K.W.

answers from New London on

My daughter is 11 and still believes in Santa, Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy. Tooth Fairy came 4 times last month and I'll be glad when she stops coming. It's costing me a fortune. LOL. I told my daughter Santa stops coming at age 12. I picked this age because that is when kids stop getting presents at our company children's Christmas Party. Only up to 12. Once you are a teenager, you are no longer a child. She bought that and is now asking for the really big stuff. "I only have 2 more years for Santa so I have to ask for the big stuff now" is what she is saying now. Sure, she has questioned it a bit, but she's ademant about believing and tries to convince her friends at school. She even goes to great lenghts by leaving notes for them all to answer questions, then takes the notes to school for proof. Just a little fun in our house. I want her to enjoy her childhood as much as possible. It doesn't last long. They grow up too fast.

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T.M.

answers from Boston on

My son is 8 now and still believes, although by age 6 he had acquaintances who told him Santa wasn't real. He had one friend who'd seen a brother or parent putting the gifts under the tree. I told him that Santa only comes to houses where people believe, that was why the parents had to do it in that house (b/c the kids there don't believe). It seems to be working so far, he LOVES Santa still, or at least acts like it. I think kids go along with the Santa thing for a while longer than they actually believe for their parents' sake and for the fun of the holiday, which is fine with me! I remember doing it because of how much fun my mother seemed to have. I am not sure if my son is at that phase yet. He does ask often about Santa and if he's real, the Santas in the malls and things (I tell him they're fakes b/c the real Santa can't be everywhere). Keep it alive as long as possible, it is a lot of fun for everyone!

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M.D.

answers from Providence on

dont tell him.. santa is your childhood innocence keep telling him what you told him that santa is real if you beieve. poor thing i was like 10 when i found out the truth

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