May 16, 2008,
A.C. asks from Lonoke, AR on May 15, 2008
Seeking Guidance for Behavior Problems with My 6 Year Old!
I have a 6 year old boy who has a very outgoing bubbly personality. 90% of the time, I love his personality. However, when he gets into a group setting, he thinks this is time to "clown around" and be center of attention. He talks out of turn and is steadily doing silly things and being loud. Last night, we had an awards ceremony at our church for Awanas. When it was his classes turn on stage, he was steadily interrupting the speaker, making faces and bothering the kids around him. His dad, myself and the leader of the group were all trying to get him to stop with no luck. When we got home, we punished him by sending him straight to bed without getting to watch cartoons. I could really use some suggestions on how to act appropriate in public. He is a super smart and loving kid. He just gets really hyper around groups of people!
A.H. answers from Birmingham on May 16, 2008
Well this could be several things. My situation was he is very impulsive and he can't seem to control it. When I asked him why and his teacher asked why, he didn't know. This went on for months and we didn't notice it until he was in K5. So after months of extensive research and him being place on a behavioral plan (it was only a problem at school because he had to stay in his seat often), it was determined he has ADHD. I was against the medicine at first, but therapy, punishment, rewards, etc. were not working. So we started on adderrall 5 mg and it worked for a while, but his doctor said 10 mg would be better but we'll start him on 5. We moved to 10 and it's been so much better for him. It doesn't affect him at all. All it does is help him focus and control his impulses more. Me personally I don't have a problem with him in public, but I will bring a game (gameboy) to keep him occupied if necessary.
T.K. answers from Little Rock on May 16, 2008
This might be something to try. Reverse embasment(mispelled). When my son and daughter were agruing one day in Wal Mart and it was crowded and my son was yelling I was at my last nerve I just started acting like them yelling and I even got down in the floor and throw a temper temp kicking the whole nine yards. My son came to me and ask me to stop all I did is said are you done he said yes and I got up and finished my shopping and to this day when they start it I say you want me to throw down they say no and it stops. The best thing I ever did. They were 7 and 4. Now they are 18 and almost 15.
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J.H. answers from Tulsa on May 16, 2008
People excite him. You are doing well. Make sure he knows in advance, in detail, what behavior you expect. Then he can remember why he is being punished. A general statement, such as "Behave yourself!" may not help.
D.F. answers from Little Rock on May 16, 2008
I would like to offer a suggestion,cause I think I have had the same or a similar problem a while back.My kids are really my brothers kids,I'm raising them because he cannot.When I realized that they were having the same issues or problems at home as well as at school,I went to the school's councelor.She was very helpful when I explained everything to her and got my kids set up with someone to help.Talk to your child's teacher and ask if he has the same behavior problem at school,if so then maybe talk to the school councelor and see if she can help guide you with where you can get help.Most likely he is seeking attention and I know as a mother it is hard to think they need more attention than we can give,but some children do.I would rather get them help and guidance now than to see it affect their lives worse later when they are older,my kids are 7,8&11.I want to wish you good luck with whatever you do and keep your chin up,we were not promised that parenting was going to be easy,we all need help once in a while.
M.C. answers from Texarkana on May 16, 2008
Get that boy into some sort of performance lessons! Music, dance, acting, whatever he seems to spark to. Then he can learn to turn it off and on. It's obvious that he craves being on stage. Encourage that-- at the appropriate time! I'm a professional musician and storyteller so I know what it feels like, and was the same way. www.marykmusic.com
K.S. answers from New Orleans on May 16, 2008
I got this from Nanny 911 and it works like a charm! I use it for my child with Down syndrome ... works for all kids.
Before you go to one of these events, in the car, let him know where you're going and tell him everything he needs to do. "Okay Tommy, we're going to Cub Scouts. There's going to be a lot of people there. We need to listen so you will need to sit quietly with Mom and Dad and listen to what they're telling us at the meeting. We aren't going to interrupt the speaker or run around. We're going to sit together and listen."
then right before you go in the door, remind them... "remember, sitting quietly and listening, no running around, no interrupting, okay?"
If it's a long event, you might need to remind during the event.
My son went through this kind of stuff everywhere...church, restaurants, everywhere until we started doing this... HELLO, I'D NEVER TOLD HIM WHAT TO DO SO OF COURSE HE DIDN'T KNOW....
It was sooo simple.
Nanny 911 is a great show.
L.K. answers from Oklahoma City on May 16, 2008
As a mother of two young men I too had one who was a clown and loved attention. We always thought he craved extra attention as the second born child. He seemed to compete with his older brother for attention. Most of the time the attention we ended up showing him was negitive attention in the form of punishment for his silly outlandish behavior. It is hard to figure out what to do.
We finally figured out that he didn't care if the attention was negitive - he just wanted/liked attention. Make some rules for him and his sisters to follow. Let him know what behavior is appropriate for going to the store or church. Reward him with an activity that he loves - something that you or his dad can do with him. You behaved nicely/appropriately in church this morning so we are going to ride our bikes to the park. Spending time with him is what he wants - make sure the time you are spending with him is positive. Soon enough he will come to crave the positive attention instead of the negative attention he receives by acting up all the time. I hope this helps - L.
M.H. answers from Enid on May 16, 2008
I found that my oldest daughter acted that way when she was feeling overly shy and intimidated by a situation. It really helped us to talk to her about how she was feeling and giving her some tools for appropriate outlets for those feelings. Good luck!
K.B. answers from Birmingham on May 16, 2008
Don't worry. He just sounds VERY typical ADD/ADHD. I have it and my daughter has it. Most kids with ADD ARE super smart but have trouble with impulsivity, speaking loudly, etc. Unfortunately you can't punish ADD out of someone. Neither can youchange their diet, etc. It is a chemical imbalance between the neuron synapsis in the body.
Once we started my oldest on Concerta (the only ADD med that is not an Amphetamine), she started doing even better in school, she isn't talking all the time like a crazy person, but she is still herself.
You might want to go to www.concerta360.com for more information. Also, you will want to see a Pediatrician or child psychiatrist who is good at diagnosing ADD/ADHD. Not all of them are. Who is your pediatrician?