My 8 Year Old Son Is Having Anger Issues!!

Typically if you have a child that is aggressive PUNISHMENT is not the answer. Yes, it sounds counter-intuitive..... but studies have proven that discipline (which is consistently showing him what you WANT him to do) is much more effective than punishment (applying a negative non-natural consequence).

So when he gets angry, have you tried saying "gosh it looks like you are angry" (yes, this SEEMS ridiculous when he is OBVIOUSLY angry... but it lets him know you UNDERSTAND and validate his emotion) "Here is what you can do to get control of yourself" and then give him something to DO to process his anger....... do 25 jumping jacks / punch pillows / write down his feelings..... whatever works for him.

You want to do 2 things with a child who is angry:

1. help them process the physical energy that comes with the emotion of anger.

2. help them process the feelings.... why are they feeling angry and what part of the situation can they control.

Anger is a primary emotion..... and it's typically a response to fear. So, when someone is ANGRY it's because they are feeling something that they can't process. Is he feeling helpless? Is he feeling worthless? Is he feeling threatened? And why?

Don't give him the idea that what he is FEELING is wrong. Help him learn how to BEHAVE when he feels that way.

Let's be objective here...does his behavior, attitude and reaction to things in anyway reflect how you are at home? If not, then he needs to talk to the school counselor who might be able to recommend further psychiatric evaluation. If so, then perhaps everyone can sit down together, talk about appropriate ways everyone in the household can respond to things and each other.

Focus less on punishment and more on positive discipline. Reward positive behavior and ignore negative behavior, unless the negative behavior is really bad.

I'm guessing from the way your post is written that there is a lot of yelling and negativity in your house coming from the adults. Sorry if I guessed wrong.

Show your son lots of love, and spend time with him when you can. PRAISE him when he does things you like. That is the best way to improve his behavior.

You got some really good advice. My 9 year old daughter is my anger management child. She has ODD or Oppisitional Defiance Disorder. Her Pediatrician did diagnose her with it but your son could also have a form of Autism. Anger is the reaction of something and is the symptom. I am finding that out with my daughter. She has no idea that she spouts off as much as she does. Like someone said, start with the school and get a counselor for her and work with that counselor and your pediatrician to get him help. DO NOT compare him and your daughter to each other, that will anger him even more. Love him and make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page in how you deal with the outbursts. That helps. I wish you the best.

I urge you to take him to a child therapist and then to family counseling. You need to know why he's so angry. You also need help learning how to manage him. His behavior affects the whole family. His anger is related to what is going on in the family. Everyone needs help in learning how to change this situation.

He does not need punishment. He needs compassion and discipline which is teaching him how to behave. The family and him need to learn ways to be together that will lessen his anger. And he needs to learn how to manage his feelings.

My advice is talk to his dr. Their could be some underline condition that the dr. Maybe able to help and contact psychiatrist my 10 year old was having the same kind of problems and it all started about 9. A psy. Dr specializing in children and childhood disorders and I bet with in the next few months you will start to see improvments in him and his behavior good luck hope everything works out for your son

if you have tried everything, maybe its time to let a professional take a look at him. Sounds like he is acting out. Maybe something he is experiencing at school or home. Things you dont know about. When radical changes in behavior crop up in one so young you need to take it very seriously. Time to get him in to the doctors.