My 17 Year Old Daughter Thinks She Likes Girls

Wow, I am really sorry that you are in this situation, that is a curve ball in life to say the least! When you say that she wasn't raise this way, are you saying you guys raised her to know and have a relationship with God or that you raised her to like boys or both? There are so many factors and influences that could have contributed to her feelings. I really don't know what kind of home you guys have or what has happened in her life so to give you advice is like shooting in the dark. The best thing I can say is if you have a relationship with God get with Him on this. Take authority over this situations and claim her life and future for Jesus in prayer. Find scripture that you can claim and believe for her and pray it over her everyday. If you don't know God yourself, now is a time to get to know Him. Find a church, call a pastor you trust. You need help with this, going it alone is not a good idea. I know you may feel angry and hurt but those feelings are not going to be helpful to your step daughter right now. The best thing you can do for this moment is to say nothing and continue to love her just as if she didn't tell you anything at all. Just take a breath, relax, pray and think. Get some wisdom from God to find out what the root cause of all this is and He will give you so much love wisdom to say just the right thing at just the right time. Judgment just won't work, so hang in there, pray, and get some Godly counsel. I wish you and your family all the best!

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Hi J.-

I have two very good friends from college who are gay (one female and one male). Each of them "came out" to their families while in college..it was the most emotionally difficult thing I've ever seen someone go through. The fact that your step daughter felt safe and secure enough to tell you about this says ALOT about the type of relationship you have with her. First and foremost continue to love her and treat her as you always have.

As far as how to handle this, I'm guessing from your post that you don't have much, if any, experience being around openly gay individuals. Your fear and anxiety is based on your stereotypes and not reality. Be honest with her about your fears but try to be open to meeting her friends and possibly finding a support group for parents in your area. Once you gain some knowledge and exposure to this your fears will subside as you realize that they are just people trying to have loving, fulfilling relationships just like everyone else.

Good Luck,
K.

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I know that this was a hard thing to hear but just let her know that you love her and you are here for her. Plus this is the "IT" thing to be right now. It seems like everyone in high school are leaning toward the gay, lesbian faze. My sister is in high school and most of her friends are gay and she said at school alot more are. So she might just be confused and might even change her mind later on. Just be there for her. Good Luck!!

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I completely agree with Alicia. And I am not a lesbian either. She summed up what I was going to say perfectly.

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I have to ask the question if you all are Christians are not first. If so, there is an important way you can approach it.

B.

Wow...so this is quite the topic...lots of very interesting advice...I guess what I thinkyou should ask yourself is this. Does this relevation change in any way who your step daughter ultimately is to you? Does it change her personality? Does it change how she interacts with others in every day life? Does it change how she makes decisions? Does it change how she loves you and your spouse? If you find that the answers to these questions are no, then I guess I would ask myself why should it change how I love her? We raise our children with our beliefs. We teach them right and wrong. At some point they become responsible for making those decisions on their own. We have to choose to support them regardless of how we feel about the choices they make for their own lives. If you choose not to love and support your child (step or not) through this choice in her life, then you may be choosing to loose contact with her. This could cause a very hard to repair rift and mean that you and she spend many years with a piece of your hearts missing. If you choose to support and love her through this choice, then you could talk to her about your difficulty with understanding her choice and find a support group to help with understanding that this had nothing to do with how you raised her. But you won't loose her in your life and you may find that while you do not understand the relationship she has chosen for herself, she has found a way to be happy and the woman she has chosen as a life partner is a wonderful addition to your family.

I wish you all the best... ;-)

She is who she is. Love and support her. It does not matter how she was raised, it is who she is. You run a very high risk of loosing her unless you make peace with her decision.

Several woman have already given great advice. Finding a support group might actually help you come to terms with this and better communicate with your step daughter. I think its great that she's comfortable enough with you to talk to you openly and honestly, as I'm sure she knows your beliefs.

Take care!