I have come across it many times. Men go online, chatting with other woman, not always in appropiate ways, and just going a little too far, and alot of them think it is fine as they see it as not a real affair. Where as most women consider it cheating. They had a poll recently in a local newspaper about this and I have dealt with this myself, that woman find it cheating where as men do not. Though if the tables were turned, they would see it otherwise. My question is, do you consider it cheating, does the man in your life consider it cheating, and where do you consider it crossing the line?
No to the one that thinks this is some bogus survey. I really am curious as I have had not just one but two of my friends come to me with similar issues I have gone though in the past with my ex. So wanted to know from other peoples stand points what they believe.
Interesting first question. Doing homework?
Any time a person in a committed relationship is engaging with another person in a way that they should only be engaging with their spouse or significant other, the line is crossed. It is cheating.
This may sound gender bias, and maybe it is, but I think that women are more emotional by nature and men more physical. So I can see how women would consider inappropriate online communications as cheating because a large majority of women include thoughts words and feeling as part of a whole when they consider an affair, whereas I think a larger proportion of men don't consider anything less than a physical interaction as cheating. That is not to say all men or all women fit into either of these categories.
The line is crossed when the behavior is hidden from ones spouse. If I wouldn't do it, write it or say it in front of my spouse then I shouldn't do it, write it or say it period.
Hmmm. Is this Quinn trying to conduct another survey for bogus research?
For me and my husband, yes, online flirt chatting is cheating.
We met and fell in love online, through chatting. These feelings were very real and we are obviously both capable of real feelings via text. I don't mind him talking to other women. He works with women and when he works from home he communicates via e-mails and texts with his supervisor (who is female). We are also still members of the online forum were we met and he sometimes talks with and games with other members who are also female.
For most females, we seem to be interwoven emotional and physical, my mother once told me that we give our hearts when we give our bodies. With most men they seem more capable of separating the emotion from the physical.
I don't think of it as cheating. I think it's odd to think of it as cheating. It's like reading some book like 50 Shades of Gray and going to masturbate before the kids get home from school. That's the same as what the guy is doing.
It's fantasy. If he's physically in the same room with her and touching her then it's cheating.
I don't agree with a double standard, that's for sure. I think if you're hiding it from your spouse, there's something illicit and shameful about it. I'm not sure it's technically "cheating" but there's an emotional component to it - and I do think there is such as thing as an emotional affair. My husband and I both have work colleagues and old friends that we meet up with for lunch, talk to on the phone, etc., and the other one doesn't go along. But we each know about the calls or lunches, where they are, etc. But the rules are the same for each of us - there's not a separate allowance for the man vs. the woman. Bottom line, if one of us didn't like it, the other wouldn't do it.
Is it "cheating"? No.
It sure could lead to cheating and it is most certainly behavior that disrespects his spouse and his marriage.
Rule of thumb? If you're doing something you wouldn't want your spouse or kids to know about? Yeah...it's wrong. On several levels.
The whole on line thing confusing me....I'm not sure how you flirt with someone online unless you are specifically seeking out opposite sex?
Now do I get mad if my husband flirts with someone in passing (in person)...NO. I think its somewhat natural. Acting inappropriate with someone at work, yes that is a big problem.
I don't think it's cheating in the traditional way, but I think if either the wife or husband decide to flirt online with the opposite sex then it opens up the potential to cheat. Why else do it? And why open yourself up to temptation if you have a happy marriage.
any inappropriate conversation is not okay. i don't flirt online, and my husband doesn't either.
khairete
S.
