55 answers

JFF: Things a Guys Should Never Say...

1. You look like my ex
2. Your sister is a b*tch
3. We should go on a diet
4. My mom thinks you should ____.
It's friday, enjoy the day.
Share some if you have them...

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

"It's 5 minutes until we have to leave to go to _________. Are you ready yet?"

This after I've fed, dressed and entertained the two kids, gotten myself showered, dressed, fed, and taken care of the dog all while he sits in the bed or couch watching TV.

MAKES.ME.WANT.TO.SCREAM.OR.WORSE...

10 moms found this helpful

"I wish I could stay home with the kids all day"

me: "I hate doing laundry"
hubby: "Why it's so easy, you just push a button"

8 moms found this helpful

Don't be like that.

I don't want to fight.

Can you run an iron over this shirt? If not, no big deal. I'll wear something else.

:)

Wait, there's more!

Wanna fool around/have sex/go upstairs?

Don't go there.

There's a stop sign up ahead.

Didn't you already DO the grocery shopping this week?

Did you want ME to do that?

8 moms found this helpful

More Answers

"Honey, is it ok if I go on a motorcycle trip instead of spending Mother's Day with you?"

23 moms found this helpful

"You know, there are a lot of other women that want to have sex with me."

"Did you take your medication today?"

No words.........

17 moms found this helpful

another haircut, already?

so, if your boobs have fallen into your armpits, do you put deoderant on them? (it is amazing the man is still alive!)

I don't know what you're talking about, the truck is running fine for me.

Why do I have to call the mechanic? There's nothing wrong with the truck. (ongoing theme here....)

Do I have work clothes? (No, because you did not put them in the laundry.)

chicken, again?

I did the dishes. (No, did you notice I did them the other 6 days of the week?)

After 30+ years of marriage, you'd think I'd have more. Most of them I just ignore....or I tell him "now I understand why your Mom used to say that she just blocked out your Dad as soon as he opened his mouth"! Always gets a rise....

EDIT: my husband just called. He stopped at Walmart. Asked me if I needed anything. My response was, "pads, feminine wipes, tampons"... & before I could go any further, he was hysterical! Refused to shop my list :) So, I'll add one more: I'm at Walmart, do you need anything?

12 moms found this helpful

"It's 5 minutes until we have to leave to go to _________. Are you ready yet?"

This after I've fed, dressed and entertained the two kids, gotten myself showered, dressed, fed, and taken care of the dog all while he sits in the bed or couch watching TV.

MAKES.ME.WANT.TO.SCREAM.OR.WORSE...

10 moms found this helpful

What did you do all day?

((HUGE difference between that, which implies nothing, and 'What did you do today?' being interested in their day))

The DEATH knell, btw, (which you should know, J.! Being as you're on that end of it!) is the working parent to the SAHP saying that after looking around the house. The stop, look around, 'WDYDAD?" should come along with a fine. Like a $500 fine, and childminding for 48 hours straight while the at home parent takes 2 days to remind themselves that really, homicide might not yet be necessary.

STRONG 2ND for the

"I work." comment

9 moms found this helpful

Don't be like that.

I don't want to fight.

Can you run an iron over this shirt? If not, no big deal. I'll wear something else.

:)

Wait, there's more!

Wanna fool around/have sex/go upstairs?

Don't go there.

There's a stop sign up ahead.

Didn't you already DO the grocery shopping this week?

Did you want ME to do that?

8 moms found this helpful

1. You haven't been home all day! I have. (no I've been in an office with four grown men who can't do anything without me either!)

2. Another GS meeting? (yes, another one!)

3. I don't understand why you're griping at me it's not my fault?! (well who else is going to just sit there and not listen? the kids?)

4. I have job! (like I don't!)

5. My all time favorite was wedding planning...I said "did you pick out your tuxes?"...he said "no yet"...me "well you should do that since it's getting closer"...he said "well I would do it if it was something I really wanted to do"...

yep...I saw him reach for the words as soon as they came out!

But there are some he could say but rarely does!

1. You are such a great mom!
2. You look great today!

Saying those would take away all the others! Except 5 he'll never live that one down.

8 moms found this helpful

"I wish I could stay home with the kids all day"

me: "I hate doing laundry"
hubby: "Why it's so easy, you just push a button"

8 moms found this helpful

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