26 answers

Is It Ok to Have a Baby Shower for Your Third?

Is it okay to have a baby shower for your third baby. Because my first two were so close together we had a small shower and never really got much besides a few clothes. Unfortunately, our swing and bouncy seat broke with the second one, we also are going to need another crib and various items to go with the crib since these two will be 17mths apart. We need a triple stroller and clothes if it is a boy. With two young children in daycare we really could use a shower to get these necessities if people come but I don't want to look like I am greedy or something by having another shower. This will be our 3rd child in 3 years. Any advice. Also, does anyone that has 3 children so close together use a triple stroller, if not how else do you get them around places?

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You've gotten a lot of advice about the shower, but I also wanted to share with you a website that I've recently found. It's kizoodle.com. The point of it is that you trade baby items online, and no money is involved. You put items up to be used by someone else and you earn points with it (you do pay for the shipping, but earn points for that as well), and with the points you earn you can go shopping. Like I said I only recently found it, so I haven't actually used it yet, but I do have an account and it's a great concept. Hopefully it will be helpful to you, too.

J. C

I wouldn't ask for a shower but if someone offers, and there is plenty of things you need than I think it is ok.

More Answers

I think baby showers should be like birthdays... everybody gets one. Each child is special and just because you had 2 children previously does not make this child any less special. What do you do with the baby book that is already written in, you can't write over it... The little girls look silly in blue sleepers that her older brother used and spit up in....Let them get a few frilly pink dresses!

I vote YES to another shower... but I would make sure it was my friends that did it for me ... not me... that becomes tacky.

L.

1 mom found this helpful

I wouldn't ask for a shower but if someone offers, and there is plenty of things you need than I think it is ok.

Hi there! I think it's fine...but I just wanted to let you know something. Someone else mentioned it in these responses but they got the website wrong... you should check out www.freecycle.org. There is a freecycle in pretty much every city. All you have to do is register, and you can set it up to have e-mails sent to you. What people do is offer things through online posts, everything from dishes to cribs to tvs...it's awesome...and if you need something you can post a request and if anyone has it they will contact you. It's all local so there's no shipping involved, you just meet up with the person and they give you what they have. One thing though, it's rude to post a bunch of requests and never offer anything yourself. I hope I explained that well. My best friend even furnished her whole house through freecycle! Good luck.

Per the etiquette books it is inappropriate to have more than one shower unless there is more than a five year gap in-between. That does not mean that lots of people do not have them anyways. But they are generally very small and just close friends and family. With those who know you. It is also generally given by a friend or family member or can become tacky looking. You also need to refelct to see how you would feel about going to someone else's baby shower if it was thier third one and how you would feel and the situation was the other way around and you were the one invited to the shower and was needing to buy the gift. I wish you all the luck. I personally dont care what others think and if your family wants to have a shower for you than enjoy it. I know I would!

Any reason for friends to get together and celebrate something happy (like a new baby) is a good thing and it will become a happy memory! By all means have a nice shower and try to stay in touch with your friends as the years go by.

Every child is a celebration and you will always need things. You can never have enough diapers and wipes and I bet those burp cloths from the first baby could use replacing by now.

PS. We had 3 babies in 3 years and DID NOT use a triple stroller. The double was heavy enough to handle and with 3 little ones, I never went anywhere alone anyway. Whoever went with me would carry the 3rd child. Or I would carry one and they would maneuver the stroller.

Best of luck to you. It will be a lot of work for a while but soon it will be WAY more fun than it is work. Ours are now 5, 4 and 3 and we are laughing all the time.

yes it is ok.

It does not matter if it is the 1st baby or the 3rd baby or the 10th. A baby is a baby and they are a gift from GOD and it is a blessing to the whole family when they are given a baby shower and it is also a celebration of the baby to come and it shows LOVE.
Go ahead and have one and enjoy the day.
God Bless Your New Baby.

From one mom to another.
I have 3 kids.

We just had a third baby shower for my best friend. Her first is now 13 yrs old, and the 2nd is almost 5. Of course I gave her one for her 2nd because they were so far apart she didn't keep his baby stuff that long. Then she thought she was done, and gave everything away. This third pregnancy came as a surprise, and its twins! So naturally we gave her a third shower. I think it is appropriate for certain circumstances, but it obviously has to be thrown for you. It is definitely inappropriate to give yourself a shower, but you aren't being greedy if someone else is doing it! Of course you could always buy second-hand from yard sales, consignment shops, ebay, and I like that concept that one of the moms who responded was talking about trading baby stuff online. Goes to show, you can really find some good deals if you search hard enough! Good luck!

I think it is great to have another shower if a friends or family throw it. Anyone who has kids knows that things don't last forever! Especially if your third turns out to be a boy, you will even more things. I can't imagine why anyone would think you shouldn't. Have fun registering!

Leave that up to your friends and family to decide. I was always of the thought, "Oh, I don't need that much, as long as the baby is healthy!" My son was almost 3 when my second was due, and I insisted that I didn't need anything then either. I got another shower. I am guessing if I ever had another baby, they'd throw me one again, and I would be equally grateful. You and your new baby deserve nice things. As long as you don't ask for the shower, it's appropriate. We didn't know the sex of either baby, btw, so we got lots of turquoise and ducks!! Good luck!

I have three kids; a 4 year old boy, a 2 year old boy and a 6 month old girl. I had a shower for the third, although I really didn't need much. The big gift was a new diaper champ. :) If you need new gadgets, I would recommend a consignment shop (Doodlebugs always has lots of stuff including cribs), or borrow from a friend whose child has outgrown them. You have no idea what the new baby is going to like anyway. And I didn't upgrade to a triple stroller. When the baby was firstborn I continued to use the double with her carrier carseat, and had my eldest walk with us. (If yours is a runner, you can always use a "leash".) Once I recovered from the C-section and felt the baby was secure enough, I just started carrying her around in my baby bjorn. It leaves my hands free, and I usually put the boys in a cart when we go shopping. Now I can't put her in a stroller even if I wanted to. She wants to be strapped to my chest so she can see what's going on! There are tons of cheap options out there. Good luck!

I say it is perfectly fine. The people that will be invited and will attend your shower should already know all the above things/issues/situations and I am sure they will be supportive. Every child deserves a shower! Have fun and relax!

It depends .. would you do that for your friends or family? .. Are you generous with your friends when you need to give away gifts and things? Would you be thrilled to buy stuff for a friend's 4th baby shower? It is always give and take, and you know if you are balancing that, otherwise you may slowly end up loosing the support, you have. The kids do not need any fancy things .. it is "US", the parents, who need the beautiful crib and things that go along with it. I have three kids (twins and an older brother, just 18 months apart). I had only one crib. The younger ones can sleep on floor for at least next 6 months, until they are ready to roll, or the older one can sleep in a nice cozy sleeping bag on the floor and the younger one in the crib (if you are afraid that older kids can run over the young one). It is tough financially to have three kids but I look at it is -- it is your choice (or our choice in my case to have 2nd or 3rd), and I would not ask people to help me support my own child. My friends did give me things, and if I had any friend who would not be using her stuff for a while, I borrowed. If anyone did ask me, I asked them to give Diapers as you need lots of them with three kids.
I have two friends with second babies .. and like I said Give and Take .. definitely all in our friends' circle want to throw shower for one, but we are not thrilled to throw the shower for the second one, as she has always been too calculative. Strangely, the one for whom we all would like to throw, does not care or say one time.. but the other one gave us the hint that she would like one again.
So you should judge yourself and you would know in your heart if you should ask people or not. I understand other people's opinion that each child is special .. but the first shower is for parents .. the baby does not know or care who gave what to him/her. The purpose of the baby shower was to help young parents meet the need, and get ready for the transition to be a family -- it was a major change in life to go from couple to family. But once you have one baby .. you should know what you need and should be able to support yourself. I have friends who have 4 or 5 kids ... but would I throw showers for their 5th one .. No .. Will I love the fifth child as much as the first one, and give them B'day gifts (Yes .. most definitely). You can get a lot of cheap stuff if you buy second hand from consignment shops, and like I said "The baby does not care for new or old".
Have a healthy and wonderful pregnancy .. it is an amazing experience to feel the baby inside you.

i had a baby shower with each of mine, reason being they were all unexpected suprises and i had given everything they had worn away to someone who needed it so when the time came i had nothing with each. it has nothing to do with greed as much as things you may need, i never got anything major from mine mostly clothes and such which was stuff i needed cribs and stuff i had to do on my own altho mine were all spaced out over 3 yrs. good luck with the new baby.

Absolutely people know things are getting worn out and every child deserves a party ! With my sisters third people were as generous as the first because they knew that witg the second it was al hand me downs. BEst of luck to you and your family!!) You could also ask for gift cards or have qhoever throwing do so not to seem rude that way you can at least make sure to get the essentials.

Etiquette?? Puhleese. This is not your grandmother's generation. Listen up to all those who disagree. It may be her 3rd but, in all honesty why not celebrate this new life growing inside. The pampering is for the mom. It's not all about the "new stuff" you're going to get. It's about the caring, support and celebration of life being demonstrated by a community of family and friends who love you. If someone wants to throw you a party, then let them. As long as they know it is not expected of them then it's okay. Those who can and want to attend will and those are unable or unwilling to attend won't.

I know that everyony has different views on things like this... I personally find it to be inappropriate to have a 3rd baby shower. I am pregnant with my second baby and my 1st is 22 months. I do not plan on having another shower. In fact, I've made it clear that it isn't needed. I know that I personally find it to be in poor taste to have a second shower that close after the 1st child let alone a 3rd. If you are in need of new baby items and money is tight, I would suggest trying kids consignment shops or craigslist. If it were me being invited to your 3rd baby shower is 3 years, I would feel annoyed as though you were looking for a hand out. I'm sorry if this is not what you were expecting to hear. I wish you and your family the best on your new baby.

Hi there, I am a Mom of 3 and my Mom and friends were very excited to throw me a shower w/my third one. I had two boys close together the first time and then my third one was a girl so I needed everything different and I had gotten rid of ALL my baby stuff since she was 4 1/2 years after my second. Even with them being all close in age and whether or not you have a boy you still need additional things and replace what has broke. I don't see anything wrong(greedy) with you having a shower and your friends probably don't either. I wish you good luck and happiness w/your family! :)

Well I have triplets and I used a triple stroller...they work well but...are expensive..I had the peg perrago it was donated to me at my hospital...It was like a $750 carriage...but that said a b***h to dismantle...I saw ones online at target for $249 with free shipping but I am not sure how great they are ...they do close alot easier...good luck...as far as a shower...If it is all the same people..it truly depends on the crowd...It is not unfair to want some help with gifts..replacing things are costly...who would throw the shower? Have them discreetly find out if people would mind...me personally I wouldn't but you never know...

The only people I've ever personally met who think you shouldn't have a shower beyond your first child are older generation (grandmas) and people who didn't have more than one child! I had a shower for each of my 3 kids. Each child is unique and the needs of the parents are unique, too. If you have friends and family who are willing to shower you, and someone willing to throw the party, go for it and don't feel guilty. Don't feel bad registering for the expensive things, either, because some people will happily get you a gift certifictae toward the stuff you really need... and this will sound bad, but if you get a bunch of stuff you don't need, you can return them for store credit toward the big stuff!

I don't care what the etiquette books say, if someone wants to throw you a shower, go for it! I have an almost 3 yr old and 4 month old twins. Once we found out we were expecting 2, we knew we needed some additional things. My husband and mom hosted a small intimate ladies tea party at our house (I dropped a few subtle hints that it would be really nice to have a little party before the babies arrived)- gifts were welcome, but not necessary. I just enjoyed having a few of my close friends over to visit. We actually registered for diapers and formula and mostly necessities (an additional boppy, bottles, etc). We got the big ticket items ourselves (new car seats, stroller). And some of the other things we didn't receive we bought at consignment shops. I love the idea of asking for gently used or resale items so people don't feel obligated to break the bank. Be conscious in registering- by #3 you know what you really need and what you can live without. You may also consider waiting until after the baby is born and hosting a welcome to the world party where people can come see your new little bundle. Most people won't come empty handed! Every baby is special and deserves their own special shower! Good luck!

Go for the shower! Ask a close friend or relative to throw one for you. Why should only the first child have a shower? You still need stuff for the new baby...and if it's a boy (do you know?) you will certainly need boy stuff. My son was 4 1/2 when I got pregnant with twins and my work threw a huge shower for me, which was great because we didn't know too many people when my 1st was born, so I had a really small shower then. Not sure about the triple stroller. I use a double side by side for my twins & my son is old enough he likes to walk. There are sit & stand stollers like these...http://www.strollerdepot.com/moreinfo.php?SKU=1051&lo... but they are probably quite cumbersome to transport.

You've gotten a lot of advice about the shower, but I also wanted to share with you a website that I've recently found. It's kizoodle.com. The point of it is that you trade baby items online, and no money is involved. You put items up to be used by someone else and you earn points with it (you do pay for the shipping, but earn points for that as well), and with the points you earn you can go shopping. Like I said I only recently found it, so I haven't actually used it yet, but I do have an account and it's a great concept. Hopefully it will be helpful to you, too.

J. C

Hi B.,

First, Congrats on baby number 3! Unexpected or not, a gift from God in my opinion! ; ) Okay, also IN MY OPINION: I believe that YES it is okay to have a shower for baby 3. I have always been of the mindset that you are showering the mother with gifts FOR THE BABY not for the mommy. Why WOULDN'T you celebrate this baby also??!! I know, I know back in the day that wasn't the etiquette, but I don't think that's the case anymore. Who would be giving the shower? Certainly not you, right? Do you have a good girlfriend or sister who can initiate it? Maybe you could not necessarily have a "shower" but a little party at your home. Maybe you don't need Brand new things and people could give you their "gently used" things they won't be needing back. (Swing, bouncy seats, crib, clothes) I have several girlfriends who were just asking me if we knew anyone who needed this or that. I bet you know a few people who have things they are holding on to, but they just don't need anymore and would be willing to part with it to a good home. That, would hopefully ease your feelings of guilt but would still get you the things that you need. Check out your local thrift shops! They have great deals on nicely used things! My MIL got a beautiful crib for $40 to use for my son when he is at her house. It came from another grandma who didn't need it anymore! Check back with us and let us know if you have a boy or another girl and what you decide about the shower! Good Luck!!

J.

I personally don't think it's wrong to have a shower with every kid. But I know that some people think that if you've had 1 kid that's the only shower you get.
I have had 3 kids and had a shower with all of them.
I didn't get much at any of them but it all helps.
I would let your parents know that you need a baby bed or some of the bigger ticket items or check on freecycle.com people are always giving away baby stuff on there. Just a week ago someone was giving away tons of baby stuff, crib, sheets, bumper pad etc.
Don't expect a shower, but be excited and grateful if someone gives you one. And definitely don't have one for yourself, I am sure somewhere it's written that that's a big no no.
I would also look into joining MOMS Club. It's a great support group for mom's working and stay at home and since there are like hundreds of mom's in this group, I am sure they pass stuff around all of the time. I know the one I belong to does.
Also, check with the goodwill stores (the nicer ones) they have stuff for babies all of the time.

I have 4 friends who are all having their 2nd babies due (Feb. and March)and they are all doing something different.
1. Wants just a diaper shower, she has everything left over from her first one.
2. Wants just meals. Like a meal shower where everyone brings a freezable dish, to help her with dinner after the baby gets here.
3. Has things for girl, but no boy things.
4. Hasn't thought about it yet she's still in shock.

I hope some of these suggestions help you and you get all that you want and need. Good luck! And take care of yourself.

i think it is very appropriate to have a shower for each child.

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