Baby Shower???? Should I Let My Friends Throw Me One for Baby Number 3? - Belton,TX

Updated on February 26, 2009
T.M. asks from Belton, TX
37 answers

Well, baby number 3 was a big OOPS!! I am a single mother of currently 2 boys 8 and 10 months and BOY number 3 on they way. I have lots of stuff still from baby #2. It just is so close to the other one, that I don;t know if I should have a shower or not. My friends want to throw me a diaper and wipe shower. Which seems ok, just wanted some other opinions.

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D.G.

answers from Houston on

Go for it!

I mean, if anyone doesn't think it is good etiquette they aren't obligated to attend. And you will certainly need dipes and wipes!

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D.D.

answers from Austin on

Do it! The shower is for the baby, not for you. He should have the same celebrations the others had and friends should have the same opportunity to welcome him they did with the others. Don't feel guilty, feel blessed you have such caring friends and family, and congratualtions!

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M.S.

answers from Houston on

if they want to throw you a shower then let them. You will have two in diapers for a long time, a diaper shower is a great idea!

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S.A.

answers from Houston on

Let your friends support you... this baby needs to be welcomed just like your others were welcomed! Diapers, wipes and other "needs" sound like a great idea... perhaps some of your friends would be willing to give you "free babysitting" coupons so that you will have a chance to take a break! My husband was traveling for business for 6 weeks when our daughter was 3 months old and it was really hard doing it all alone for that time.... and I only had one child to care for!

And, FYI... I would not advertise or speak too freely about this child being a big oooppps, because the 8 year old might be willing to repeat that to this child and that is the kind of scar that lasts a long long time.

Good luck.
blessings,
stacy

1 mom found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from San Antonio on

I think I diaper and wipes shower would be great. You already have everything else, but that is something you will need a lot of!! Another one I have heard of is where everyone brings a meal that you can put into the freezer. That would also help a lot. Congratulations.

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J.L.

answers from Beaumont on

I think a diaper and wipe shower would be appropriate. God Bless you and your new baby!

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D.R.

answers from Austin on

I don't think that there is anything wrong with a diaper and wipe shower because you know you will need plenty of those once you new little guy get here! Perhaps you could suggest that it be very low key with just close friends and family. I think its great that your friends want to throw you a shower!

Good luck!
D.
http://www.4myhappyhealthyfamily.com

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C.O.

answers from Houston on

Lori K is right on. My youngest two are only 14 months apart. While I had plenty of baby stuff like you, I didn't realize how much I would still need for the younger baby (unfortunately it's the more expensive stuff that you'll need). The older baby will be using most of your baby stuff. You will NEED a second baby bed, car seat, dresser, and a stroller for two (if you are a stroller person). Not to mention diapers and wipes for two gets very expensive.

If your friends are wanting to give you a shower, then by all means LET THEM! Don't worry about some thinking that it is not appropriate, they don't have to come if they don't want to. Those that think that you don't need a shower just don't realize how much you do indeed need! I've been there and trust me honey you really do NEED a shower.

Good luck and have that baby shower!

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M.T.

answers from Austin on

I would definitely let them throw you one especially if you other 2 are 8 and 10. You are going to basically need everything bc I doubt you kept anything from the first 2. I'm on baby number 2 and my other is 7 so we have nothing for our new arrival coming. We have registered at a couple of stores and my baby shower is this coming weekend. Definitely let them give you a baby shower.

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M.M.

answers from Austin on

Are you crazy, heck yes, every baby deserves a celebration party that they are coming and so does every mom. I don't care if it's your 8th, you will need diapers and support!

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D.A.

answers from Houston on

It used to be there was a baby shower only for the first child. Frankly, I think that's enough. People have other things to spend their time and money on than going to endless baby showers. Skip the shower, esp. since this boy is so close to the last one. Those who want to give a gift still can, but it will be because they want to, not because they feel obligated to.

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

A good idea would be to have one at a place where they can make and freeze dinners for you...like "Dream Dinners". We did this for my friend who was having her second little girl. Another idea is to have everyone pitch in for one big gift card to "Babies R Us" and give it to you at a dinner so everyone can still get together and celebrate.
Congratulations.

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W.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Absolutely! They want to do it, you still need diapers and wipes, all baby's should be celebrated. I don't see a down side.
Congratulations and best of luck!

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R.L.

answers from Houston on

I agree, if your friends want to throw you a shower then I would let them. Just let them know what you need! Also it doesn't have to be about presents it can be about celebrating the upcoming baby!

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

As long as it's just a "wipe and dipe" amoung a few VERY CLOSE friends, I don't see anything wrong with it. Since @2 is so young, I think to expect anythiing more would be asking for too much. Your friends probably realize what a tough time you're going to have and to offer cash would be too personal and even a little crass, but diapers are something you will definately be needing.

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J.P.

answers from Austin on

Personally, I was like you and had no reason to have a "full blown baby shower" for my baby #2. The diaper shower my friends threw me was deffinately a wonderful thing!! I don't think I bought ANY diapers until she was about 9 months old! Saved me $$$$ and I never had to worry about getting "two of something". I just asked them to make sure and now buy too much of the newborn size!

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B.R.

answers from San Antonio on

I say go for it!! Any child in the world is a blessing! I think if they want to then let them. It is a clebarations no matter if it is number 1 or 5! They are happy and want to help and have a little fun let them.

If you register then only things that you need. Diapers, wipes, forumula, baby food, etc. Stuff that you will have to but no matter what. I think it is great that they want to support you. I through my friend one on her number 3! It was fun. We gave her mostly diapers, and baby foods etc. I love baby showers. It is fun!!

Let them and be greatful!!

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J.S.

answers from San Antonio on

Have one.I had a diaper shower for my 4th child and it was very helpful. The diapers I got lasted for 4 months. If your friends want to do it let them. Celebrate the coming of this baby even if it is unplanned.

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D.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Nowadays, a shower is a fun party to celebrate. Have fun! Celebrate! Congratulations!

You are blessed to have friends who are excited about your baby! They want to celebrate this new Little One! Let them! To your friends the shower isn't really about the presents. It's about sharing your joy with you. Enjoy your friends' excitement. Your friends realize that this is a difficult time for you and want to show their support. If anyone thinks that it's not appropriate, they won't come and that's okay. When I was pregnant with our #2, I had plenty of family who said "I'll wait until after the baby's born to see what y'all need." That was fine with us since we still had all of the "big" stuff (crib, stroller, excersaucer, travel crib, etc.) Family and friends gave us cute little gifts for #2 that they weren't able to give when we were pregnant the first time since we needed the stroller and all with #1 (people joined together and purchased the expensive items for us - I am still overwhelmed by their love and generosity).

Congratulations on your new Surprise! Our 2nd baby was a surprise, too! However, we shouldn't have been surprised since we were doing the same things we did to get #1 :) It doesn't matter that #3 surprised you. Don't worry about it! It's nobody's business whether you planned your babies or were surprised! I am the oldest of 3 and am 3 years older than #2 and 4 years older than #3. My parents got pregnant with #3 five months after they had #2. My mom was so embarassed about what others would think because #3 was a surprise (her birth control pill failed because in '73 the Dr didn't think to tell her that antibiotics made the pill worthless). I'm glad my youngest sister is here. If she weren't here, #2 and I probably wouldn't speak at all because we just don't get along even though we love each other.God puts us all here for a reason. Most of the time, it's just to spread love.

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S.B.

answers from Austin on

If your friends want to throw you a shower, go for it! Having a baby is worth celebrating, Congratulations to you!!! Diapers and wipes can tally a big bill so that's a great idea for a shower...another idea if you're thinking you have everything you need for your baby #3 would be to have the shower focus more on you, the new mommy and things you need or would enjoy. A happy mommy makes for a happy home!

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J.W.

answers from Austin on

If your friends offered, let them do it. Just be sure to thank them and let them know how much you appreciate what they have done for you. Friends are in our lives to bring us joy and fun as well as lending a helping hand when needed. It may have been an OOPS but I certainly send blessings your way and pray that your family will flourish under you, your family and the watchful eyes of your loving friends.

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R.B.

answers from San Angelo on

I think that the "No shower for any baby but the first" must be a regional thing. I am originally from Idaho and everyone I know in the pacific northwest that had kids, had a shower for each baby. And they were showers that were willingly thrown for them and willingly attended by friends and family.
A shower isn't just about gifts. It is about getting together to celebrate a new baby!
SO...if your friends want to do this for you, LET THEM! Just to be clear, put on the invitation that "Gifts are not neccessary...Just come to have fun!"

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D.R.

answers from Austin on

Hi T.,

YES, absolutely have a shower! Some of the most fun I have had is in giving baby showers for my friends. You don't even have to limit it to diapers and wipes. This baby deserves to have some special things, also.
Congratulations and Best Wishes! You sound like a wonderful mom! My mom was a single mom for many years. :-)

D.

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L.B.

answers from Houston on

I had a big shower for my first, a much smaller one for my 2nd (because a close friend insisted on throwing me one), and no shower for my 3rd. However, I was staying at home by the time my 3rd (also an oops!) arrived on the scene, so I didn't have all those work friends who got super-excited about throwing a shower for me. But, I wouldn't have felt comfortable having a shower for the 3rd, so it didn't bother me not to have anyone offer to throw one. I think most assume that by #3 you have everything you need. So, my take is that if you have friends that are excited about throwing a diaper shower for you, and you feel comfortable about inviting people to it, then go for it. Anyone who doesn't see a need for it probably just won't come. If you feel at all uncomfortable, then follow your instincts and don't have it. I always found that people sent gifts or brought something when we invited them to come over and meet the baby, so a shower after the first baby really wasn't necessary. But I see that you are a single mom, so perhaps it is more necessary for you--it's a lot tougher both financially and emotionally to go it alone! Best of luck to you. :-)

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A.O.

answers from Sherman on

Absolutely! You can never have enough diapers and wipes!

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T.V.

answers from Houston on

We had a meet the baby party for our #3 (our oops :) We mentioned gifts were not needed but diapers were welcome. It was a nice twist on a shower and some folks who might not see baby 'til 6+ months got to meet him at 6 weeks. It was fun and I don't think anyone felt put out, besides who doesn't like babies when they can give them back?

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C.T.

answers from Houston on

I would only allow it if the baby #3 is a girl.

If it is a girl, you will need all new clothes. No hand me downs.

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L.H.

answers from Houston on

Yes if they want to, then they want to celebrate this child with you! And, being a single mother everything is a help right? They want to help & throw a party for you... let them & have fun. Appreciate friends like that.

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L.C.

answers from Waco on

I think that sounds like a great idea! You are deff going to need those things!

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R.M.

answers from Houston on

Two thoughts, a diaper shower or a meal shower. I heard about the meal shower for a third time mom and they either brought her gift cards from restaurants in her neighborhood (the hostess made a list) or brought her meals for the first month after the baby was born. I thought it was an excellent idea.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

Have the shower!!! Diaper and wipes or even a mama shower (everything is for pampering mama) or a meal shower (restaurant gift cards and frozen dishes) are wonderful ideas.

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S.T.

answers from San Antonio on

If they are offering, I think it is fine. Every baby deserves to be celebrated.

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

Do you feel uncomfortable with a shower? You can ask your friends to keep it low key ... diaper and wipes are always needed. I love what the others have said that every child is to be celebrated ... I have my last two very close together and I get a lot of prying questions. You might feel more comfortable with a couple of ready answers - to my close friends, I make a joke and said yes, I'm going to be doing public service announcements and to other folks, I smiled and said I am going to be very blessed and very busy.

What good friends you have .. take the help you can. Perhaps you can enlist one as a birth coach if the baby's father isn't in your life.

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P.H.

answers from Austin on

Let them bring you food after the baby is born! Sounds like you will need some help...don't we all? I had nearly a full month of meals delivered daily after my third was born. It was the best gift ever!!!!

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B.G.

answers from Austin on

I think a low key shower is perfectly acceptable for your 3rd. We just had a little shower for my friend who's pregnant with her 3rd boy too. I think diapers are a great idea or a frozen dinner shower. Don't feel guilty; your friends just want to do something special for you. Coming from the person who just threw a shower, I wouldn't have allowed my girlfriend to say no. Her 3rd baby deserves something special too. Now she has shower pictures for her 3rd little guy as well. Congratulations.

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

Let your friends do what they seem to want to do. Only have them invite people who are really close to you, not casual acquaintances. They sound like great friends to me. Enjoy your boys!

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L.K.

answers from Houston on

Let them because you WILL need:
more diapers, more wipes, another CAR SEAT, another baby bed. I had two very close together and you don't realize that a lot of stuff will still be used by your other "baby"

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