Baby Shower for Mom of Three

I agree 100% She needs to have a Shower and if she is having a boy even if she brought all of her baby stuff from FL which it sounds like maybe not, it would be for girls right? Every New Baby needs to be Celebrated!
He is a new gift for God. Go and have fun and Welcome this new gift and the gift of a new friend who sounds like can use all the new friends she can get.
Enjoy,

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I agree with those who say that a shower is to celebrate a new life--but often parents need help more than things with a third child. My friends had a great shower for me when I had my 3rd and last baby. They made cards to give me with things written on them that they would do after the birth: a couple moms took the older kids for something fun to get them out of the house; several made meals for us; I got a massage from one friend; another came and cleaned my house when I needed it. This started a tradition we continued as long as our group of moms was having kids(we are now becoming grandma's!)

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It certainly is ok to have a baby shower for her.A baby shower is a party for the baby! Plus, this is her first boy, so she's probably going to need new things for him. :-)

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Its still tacky even if she is out of state. Give her a gift for the baby when he's born and leave it at that.

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I don't really understand what your issue with this is. A new life is being welcomed into the world, should it really matter whether this a mothers first or tenth child? If you don't want to attend then don't, but do not turn a celebration of the birth of a child into a moral dilemma.

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I think it is wonderful that she has friends throwing her a shower for baby #3. My sister is an Army wife with 4 kids. all of them have been born in a diff state or countrys, with new friends. She has had 3 showers thrown for her. I think it is awesome. and its not like it is the same people going to another shower for the same friend.

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If she's not repeat inviting people, I think its fine. If someone doesnt agree with it they can simply not come. Theres nothing wrong with doing something nice for someone, especially if they have had hard times. Everyone should think that you never know when it might be yourself who can use a helping hand, and caring. And this will be a chance for her Ohio friends and family to show their support and excitement for her new baby!!

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I get so upset when I hear people saying someone shouldn't have a baby shower. The baby shower is a celebration of a baby, and all babies should be celebrated! It's one thing if someone didn't want to throw one because of cost or whatever, and no, they are not expected, but if you're invited to one go and enjoy yourself and celebrate this new life!

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ABSOLUTELY have the shower!

Good for her and good for whoever is hosting it!

And says who that there are official rules for when you should throw a shower or not? If that's the only catch, throw her a "Third-Baby-First-Boy Party" and throw out any shower police that show up.

Sometimes we get so dictated by rules we just forget to be nice. Anyone who doesn't want to be nice or have a good time can stay home.

J.

PS--those who can't afford a gift can make a nice card and a "coupon" with some sort of service on it like, "free night of babysitting" or "free afternoon of housecleaning" or "free trip to the grocery store" etc. You get the picture!

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It is wonderful for her to be given a shower for her little boy!
Hope everyone has a wonderful time and that she receives many of the things she needs.

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Of course it's ok!!! ALl babies need celebrated!!
And in this day and age with our economy the way it is a babyshower is a great way to help out the family of the baby! I say have fun with it and and ignore any negative opinions...
S.

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YES! A baby is something to be celebrated, no matter the circumstance! Small or large a woman deserves what anyone is willing to give for giving birth, bringing in a new life. If you really disagree don't go, don't go having mixed feelings. Times have changed... Shower her, she deserves it.

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If you don't think it's right, no one will force you to go. But if she's having a boy there are new things she needs. She also may not have moved everything with her, so she may need some of the stuff she had for the first too.
Get her necessities like clothes and feeding things (boppy, breast pump, etc...) instead of toys and ANOTHER blanket.

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I would keep it low key. Small gifts and more of a "Congrats on your first boy" theme.

I've never heard the 1st and 3rd child others have mentioned. I've always thought that a shower should be thrown for the first child only unless there is more than 5 years since the last child. But, if someone is throwing her a shower and you are invited, then I would suggest buying one or two outfits or creating a basket of infant bath care items.

I have always heard you have a baby shower for your first born and also if you have a different gender. You said this is her first boy so YES it is perfectly fine for her to have another shower and almost expected. Have a great time at the shower and I hoped your friend is B.!

If you care about the person who is having a Baby Shower,then you should attend the shower. It will definitely encourage her to know that other people care enough about her to celebrate her third child with her. It really doesn't matter if she has had a babyshower before. If you care and want to celebrate then go and let the naysayers stay at home or do something that they enjoy.

I don't understand why it wouldn't be OK. Every baby needs to be celebrated. And, that's what a shower is, in my opinion. A celebration of baby. Go, have a good time, and share in her joy.

I think its a great idea. I'm sure some of baby items need replacing and she sure will be need of boy items.
L.

I would say that since the purpose of a baby shower is to shower gifts on the new baby, this kid would be getting ripped off if there were no shower don't you think? As you stated, she is living in a new area, and no one is being asked to provide a gift that has already given her one before; plus if this is the first boy the whole theory that she should already have everything doesn't really apply to clothing and other gender specific items. Anyone who thinks that one shower covers everything you need for as many children as you're going to have has obviously forgotten what it's like to have kids.

sure, there are things you need the third time around even if you already have baby gear. a new carseat, for example, is a big purchase that may be necessary if the first one is too old, and people could go in on it together. i see nothing wrong with having the shower or going to one with a nice gift. i went to a similar shower (third child, first boy) and it was really fun and tasteful and i didn't feel awkward about it at all.

I think it's fine considering the circumstances. I'm pregnant with second baby - a boy (first was a girl) and I never knew it was so taboo to have a 2nd shower until my mom went off when I asked her if she was having one for me. I figured I have nothing but a few onesies for a boy so what is the big deal, but I guess it is usually considered a no-no. I think if someone wants to have one, who cares. I've also heard of have a "sprinkle" for the second...not really sure what it entails but sounds similar to a shower, just called something different.

I feel that yes she has never had a shower for a boy nor did she have one here in Ohio. Plus I know a girl who had a daughter 16 yrs ago and yes she ended up becoming pregnant again with another girl but since it was 16 yrs ago she had gotten rid of everything. So it just depends on the situtation when you have a second third or fourth. I fell this lady needs to have one especially since it will be with new friends and she does not have a boy. You can also put on invite that this is to celebrate a new life not only for the baby but for the whole family and lets just get together to celebrate if you dont feel you should buy anything lets just celebrate. Just my opinion.

It seems like it is becoming more and more the trend to have another baby shower, especially when they have the other gender. Most of my friends have had 2 baby showers... I personally don't plan on it when I have a girl.

I guess I am a little confused. Is she giving a shower for herself? Generally people throw a shower for someone else which is fine. I never heard of someone having a shower for themselves. That being written I will add things have changed a lot since I was in the area of giving showers or being invited to many. We (in my generation) used to have showers for the first child, after that we had christening or baptismal parties for the children following where people brought gifts and money for the newest arrival. In todays world I see people having showers for each child they have. Society changes and the "rules" change with it.

If you are invited, like the lady, want to help out, then by all means attend. If you feel uncomfortable going to the shower but want to give her something special for the new arrival then do it. You can go to a Dollar Store and pick up things for babies, diapers, wipes, shampoos, etc. or go get her an outfit that is strictly for a boy without spending an arm and a leg. Go in with several other people and pick up a stroller, sheets, etc.

There is nothing wrong with giving a gift whether there is a shower or not. There are a lot of nice things at the used children's shops that she may need like high chairs, etc. that could be given as well without the need of a shower being thrown as well if you are uncomfortable with the shower idea.

Baby showers are normal for 1st children and third, however I was told that it was not usually done for a second child. Things do wear out and not every one can save all the things they need for a 3 rd. child. I say give her a shower and have lots of fun and be sure the baby will have all it will need for awhile.

When I had my third, my friends said I had to have another shower!!!! She said you are supposed to have one for your first and your third!!!! I told her the only way we could do one is if we told people they didn't need to bring gifts but if they wanted to diapers only!!!!! I was having my second girl so I really didn't need clothes.

I think you should have a shower for her, I think it would mean a lot to her. Have fun and if people act weird say it is a diaper party not a shower!!!!!

Good luck

A.

In my opinion it is wonderful ton have a shower for a mom of three. Having raised 5 of my own all of the baby clothes that were "everyday" wear were worn out by the time I reached number 3. I did buy some new things but with two other children to care for money was very tight.Diapers and formula cost a lot of money and moving from Florida where few "winter" clothes are needed will be an extra expense.I think that it would be very uplifting for this mom to know that people care.

I had a friend who had her third and we did a diaper shower. It was fun. We just bought diapers~obviously. If someone wanted to get her something small they did. It was nice b/c everyone always needs diapers. just a thought.

I believe that a baby shower is to celebrate new life. I think any person can have a baby shower no matter how many kids you have.

There are probably multiple things she needs even though she's had kids before. Plus, considering her situation, there may be household items she really needs. She could set up a registry at a reasonably priced location such as Target and choose things such as household items and things for the baby.

People can use the baby registry as a shopping list for garage sale-ing. I did this and I was able to find clothing, a crib and stroller for like $60. I had people in the office chip in a few dollars and I came into the office baby shower with about 4 large bags of baby clothes up to 1 year, the stroller and the crib. She was so appreciative and never expected anything like it. I think I went out two Saturday mornings for about an hour each time. It was less time than I probably would have spent looking around in a store...lol..I found the cutest things... many were in perfect condition.

This could really help out this family in need. You can find great deals without much effort. A little money can really go a long way, and it could help her find things for the entire family.

I would say since she is having her first boy and especially since the same people wouldn't be invited, go for it. Since she is having a rough patch in her life, it might be the boost she needs. I've never heard of the first and third thing. I have to admit I'm old fashioned (I'm only 29); generally, a shower for the first baby and maybe one for the other gender.

And Julia, it isn't about being jealous. It's about asking people to continue to give gifts (even if the invitation says you don't have to, it looks cheap if you don't). To give a decent looking gift, you have to spend $25 or so. While it may not seem like a lot, that can really be a stretch to some people. Not just during this recession either, for some it is a stretch at any time. Not going isn't about not being a party pooper; it's about not breaking the bank. This is especially true when it happens for 2 or 3 friends - $75 adds up quickly.

Even though it's not all that common to have a baby shower for the third, there's nothing wrong with it - especially if it's her first boy. Even if she has all the big stuff already from the first two, she'll need lots of clothes and some nice boy-colored nursery decorations would be nice. My third is a boy, and we spent a mint on clothes for him!

In a normal situation, it IS proper etiquette to only have a shower for the first. Unless, like people before have said there is an age gap of more than 6 yrs from the last child.

But, I think given the situation it seems acceptable. I mean, for christ's sake, if she's going through a rough patch in her life, I think as her friends it is time to say "screw what everyone else thinks" and do something to make her happy.

If you're not great friends with her, then I'd go and maybe get some small things or perhaps make a baby blanket out of fleece(easiest thing ever to make and have it look "personalized"). Leave it up to the people throwing the shower to get the big stuff she may need.

Hello K.
since she is having a boy this time and she haven't had a shower here, I think it's ok. She most likely need things for this baby boy since her other things are girls. It will also be good for her to see and have the support of others here since you mention she's has had hard times. Go and be supportive.

God Bless
D.

I had 2 daughters then a son....I had never had a shower here in Cincinnati and on my third one, my co-workers had a little shower for me and some ladies at church had a shower and I loved it. Evidently, there was some discussion (I heard later) about it was my 3rd...but the items received were so welcomed-- I really needed the stuff, and I appreciated it so much. I think the things I got were perhaps smaller gifts than typical of a baby shower, but it was so nice... my co-workers surprised me...the church ladies I knew about and felt a little funny, but they insisted and it was so nice...

Yes its okay especially if this one is a different gender or its been a number of years since the last one was born. And besides what mother could not use diapers, baby wash and wipes. The only way it would not be okay if is she was throwing it for herself.

Okay maybe I'm just old fashioned (but I'm only 28) but I think its weird, that being said I am pregnant with number 4 and my baby is gonna be 7, and I have been told I have no say and will be given a shower. So what the heck, why not, LOTS of people do it now, and it's not about the gifts but doting on the momma and sharing in the excitement.

Take time to celebrate a Mom & Baby...no matter if it is the 1st or 5th...etc.. Enjoy the day and make her feel special.
I have also heard of showers for not the first child being called a "sprinkle" with perhaps a theme of diapers & formula, or towels, washcloths and bath products..
Have fun!

I'm wondering what you mean by hard times? I have a friend who used to live in Florida before a hurricane destroyed everything they had. So, for child #2, they didn't have much, and were thrown a 2nd shower, and I think it was appropriate.

Also, what is she expecting (in regards to presents)? If all she wants is well wishes (and some diapers), EVERY pregnancy should receive that gift. Now if she were more like my cousin, who tends to throw out everything as her youngest is finished with it and expects new everything for her next child (she's working on child #4 right now, so its been a bit obnoxious), I'd have a problem with it.

I think the fact that she's had some hard times, never had a shower and this is her first boy, is certainly okay. You don't HAVE to call it a shower. You can call it a "MOVING FORWARD" event or something else, since she's trying to make a change and move forward. You can EVEN do some things to call attention to her making the changes..and NOT just diapers.

With as much love and respect that's possible to flow through typed letters on the computer, please, you and everyone who reads this, take something into consideration. WHY DOES IT MATTER? WHO CARES? If someone wants to have a baby shower for every kid they have and they have 10 kids, who cares? Most of the feelings around this issue stems from jealously from moms that did NOT get showers after their first child and are jealous that they're expected to show extra attention to another mom who's not on her first when they themselves didn't get any special attention via shower from anyone. Let's be very honest here and admit that when you have an issue with this, you're being selfish and jealous. I don't care what anyone says, there is NOTHING else it could be and have it be 100% of the reason they're having issues. I only had a shower for my first, but I've gone to showers before when it wasn't the first child....it's a party, if you want to be a party pooper, don't go.