Ideas for Funeral? :(

You could take them a plant or small tree (not flowers)-something that would continue living if taken care of properly. Also, money in an envelope along with a hearfelt letter or nice card is always nice too. More importantly is a month or two after the funeral etc. a lot of people forget about the deceased or deceased's family. It would be nice to give bring them over dinner then or take his wife or other family members out for dinner or breakfast and let them talk through their grief or feelings or even invite them over for a meal.

I'm assuming that this is local. You don't have to take food over right way. What you do right away is send a note of sympathy. In fact, since many people do take food right after a death, it might be good to wait a week or so, when they might really need it. In any case, take something that can be frozen, so the family may use it when they choose. Another thing to do, perhaps, is to offer to babysit, to clean house, to do anything practical for the family. Call every week or so and ask how the family is doing and what you can do. They're going to need some quiet practical help for quite a while - long after most people have gone back to their own lives.

Food is always a good idea but I think an even better and untraditional is a housekeeper.

If you have one, I would pay for her/him to pick up the family's house and maybe help out right after the funeral so the family can relax and not worry about it.

Lasagna. Never had a complaint yet. :)

I am sorry for your loss.

If you know what they like to eat - things that are easily warmed up...

enchiladas with tortilla chips
pot roast in a crock pot bag - so all they have to do it put in a crock pot.
lasagna
spaghetti
chicken....

I would offer to be there...do they need help cleaning the house?
If you have a big enough car - will they have people coming in from out of town who need to be picked up from the airport?
Will they need help getting people to the funeral from hotels, etc? Offer to pick them up and drive them.

If you have a lot of good memories of your uncle and pictures - put a scrap book together with the pictures so they can see the memories themselves.

bring some kind of casserole that will freeze well.

I'm sorry about your uncle. If you can take something that can go in the freezer that can just be warmed up, that would help them. No one feels like cooking or even trying to plan a menu in times like these.

Dawn

Food is always welcome. Casseroles are good. Edible arrangements are nice too. They may need help getting the house clean and organized for guests, transportation for anyone coming in from out of town, or help running errands. You are sweet to want to reach out to help. I'm sure it will be appreciated. My sympathy to you and your family.

When my dad passed, one friend brought over cases of soda and a case of water. It was just one of those things that if you were out of, you probably wouldn't go out to buy so it was nice it was there, especially with all the visitors coming over. My aunt made us a pot roast which, if we didn't have, I don't think we would have had anything to eat those first few days. We were all in a daze and didn't feel like eating, but there was food and we were grateful. Also, if you drop off food, put a return address label on it if you want your dish back. It helps so much and the family doesn't have to worry about who gets which dish.

My condolences on your loss.

Take food, something that can be frozen as Jen said, in the event they don't use it immediately.

Also, if there are errands to be run, shopping to be done (milk, bread, whatever they need) a house to clean, laundry to be done, etc., offer your help or just dig in and do it.

Sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom on Dec 20th. Wait a couple of days to take food, often a lot of food arrives the day after the death and the family becomes overwhelmed and the refrig overfull. Then take something that most people like and can eat. Casseroles are usually good Tuna noodle casserole is easy and a comfort food for many, add a salad and a dessert. Paper plates and cups is a good idea. Ask if the family needs help, they may need a babysitter or dogwalker so they can make preparations. Also if you have a friend you trust ask them to house sit for the widow or any other family members mentioned in the obit. It has happened that theives will hit a house while the family is at a funeral. They come home and their house is stripped of all valubles.
I received a beautiful peace lily plant from my uncle at my Mom's funeral. I appreciate the gift but I don't like to get plants from a funeral. It's a constant reminder that the one we love is no longer with us. Cut flowers are beautiful and only last a few days.

Sorry for your loss! It stinks! I lost my dad this past Sept. People brought over food - it gave us things to eat while preparing for the funeral. Actually my dad had a Celebration of Life and then people came back to my parents house for food and visiting afterwards. Seemed strange at the time, but a HUGE help was a group of my parents friends go together and took care of EVERYTHING for the visitation at the house. By everything, I mean they even came over and cleaned the bathrooms, floors and patio where people would be. They set up tables, arranged for all the food and beverages and cleaned up totally afterwards. It was VERY much appreciated. There was one person who coordinated the whole thing. Also, about two weeks later some of these same people have invited my mom to lunch and dinner to just keep in touch with her. That has helped her a lot.

So sorry for your loss.

Offer the assistance you can give. Decide on what you are able and willing to do.

Drive people to the services?
Help clean the house?
Help organize the wake after the funeral?
Help write the thank you notes?
Help with out of town guests?

Beverages, Tea, soda Coffee, Juice
Breakfast type foods ~ Bagels, muffins, coffee cake, kolaches.

When my neighbor died at 38, we set over delli trays, chips, rolls, and sodas. Instead of just one meal, they had sandwiches and snacks to last a few days. It's been almost 8 years since we sent the trays and they still talk about how great it was to be able to have readily available food in the fridge. When my grandmother's boyfriend died, we sent an edible arrangement and that also went over very well. I think in general people appreciate something that is quick and easy to grab and eat without having to cook anything or cook an entire dinner for just one or two people. I also think as for non-food item, a maid maybe welcome or a donation in your uncle's name to a charity he liked. Sorry for your loss.

We had people hand us money to help with the cost of the food, we got care packages for the house since everyone was hanging out there, they had toilet paper, paper plates, all kinds of stuff that was paper actually, paper towels, plates, cups, utensils, I didn't have to do dishes at all.

We had care packages that had easy snack items that could go in a pocket or purse. Had people offer to help clean up after everyone was gone, even one offered to clean the living room carpet since we had some spills. One dear friend even came from out of town to take over the kids. She came everywhere we did and kept them out of our hair, helped them remember to stay quieter when needed, helped them go outside and play, etc...she just took them over and if I needed one of them for something she got them to me. It was the best gift ever. During the funeral for my MIL, she even kept them in the Primary room so that they could join us in the Young women's rooms to eat. She helped them fix their plates and got them anything they needed.

I am so sorry for your loss, I hope your heart is not hurting too much.

Food really is one of the most helpful things. IF you do bring food...

1) a THROW AWAY container (trying to remember whose container this is, and getting it to them is reeeeally hard when you're grieving),

2) and something that freezes well is best

3) instructions between 2 layers of plastic wrap is soooooo helpful (like, freeze until you want to eat, defrost or no need to defrost, bake at 425 until bubbly)

And having lost many people... we don't have the same pictures you do. ANY pictures you have of our loved one, esp bound together in some kind of album, are one of the best gifts, ever.

I'm also really fond of gift certificates for delivery (food, like chinese or pizza), and cleaning... but some people would be offended by the cleaning.

Something that I like to do when I take "food" to a family after a death is to take some fresh fruit...apples, bananas, oranges...things that you can just pick up and eat. I also like to take the "paper goods"...paper or plastic plates, plastic silverware, paper cups and napkins...so that people can just eat and then toss the plates and such...so that there isn't as much clean up that needs to be done. I agree with what a lot of the other Mama's are saying about wait a week or so....so many people take food right at first...and if the immediate family is involved with a church, then a family meal may very well be served at the church the day of the funeral.
Just showing them that you care...sharing memories of the one who has died...being there to listen to them is the best thing you could possibly do!!

I am so sorry for your loss.
You didn't say anything about the family situation. Will his wife and kids, if he had them, need help? There will be insurance and financial issues to handle. If you are close enough the the family there are many ways to help and it needs to be on an ongoing basis.
What is done in the long run will be most appreciated.

Yes, you can ask them what is that they would like. They of course will say, "nothing". Insist on something. Say, "I'm not just saying words. I am going to the grocery store---what do you THINK you might need?

When my mom died, the neighbor asked me what did my dad need. I told her that he had just told me that he wanted to me go get some fast food chicken later for dinner. I told her that if she could do that then I would not have to leave his side--he was 80.

The year was 2003, we are still waiting on that dinner.

Moral--please don't ask if you cannot deliver.

Whatever you do, do not bring a pasta dish. A family can only eat so much pasta! Ask first and give some choices as someone like me doesn't eat cheese: "Would you like enchiladas, fried chicken or a cooked ham? What day would be best?" My brother-in-law, who lost his wife recently, really appreciated the paper plates, plastic ware, paper towels, toilet paper, etc. since there was a lot of family visiting.

He also got money to donate to charities of his choosing. That was cool. Also, it took several of us to write all the thank yous for the food, money, plants, flowers, stones, etc., so ask in a week or so if they need help writing notes, addressing envelopes, etc. Stamps were greatly appreciated.

So sorry for your loss. Be sure to share good memories you have of your uncle.

I am sorry to hear that : (
My father died this last July and it was pretty hard. Believe it or not, when my family and I would receive flowers or cards or anything, it was very annoying for some reason. It kind of felt like it was making the grief drag on instead of helping. What they DID find helpful was the fact that I explained that he passed away peacefully and that the body is AMAZING in the fact that it will protect the persons psychological being at any cost almost. For instance, say someone gets hurt or dies in a car wreck, that person actually goes into shock and things slow down in their mind and the body numbs the area that was hurt on their body if it is more that the mind can handle before going crazy. So these scary movies kind of tick me off because they make it seem like death or trauma is way more scary or horrible than it really is. So that seemed to help people because it put things in a realistic perspective for people to understand.

Hope that helped some : /

My mom always sends stamps to people with a note that she is sorry about the loss. Sometimes she puts in $50. And let me tell you, when my dad died, we had to buy so many stamps it wasn't funny, because of all the thank you cards we had to send. So I say send stamps.

Food really is a help.

If you're looking for something more lasting, what about a sapling or local shrub that the family can plant in his memory in their yard?

I suggest that you ask the family what they would like for you to do.

In my experience one thing that's been helpful is to put together a collage of pictures. In my mother's case I enlarged a couple of pictures at Walmart.

Our family always gets together after the funeral for a meal. You could offer to help organize a potluck or find a venue.

For both of my parents' funerals someone gave us a presliced, precooked ham. It stood us in good stead for days of impromptu meals.

Offering to sit by the phone to receive the many calls or to make calls
to give the latest plans. Take cell phone #s (texting) or emails from everybody who calls so you can update with memorial plans all in one swoop.Paper products is a very good idea. Finding a trusty babysitter for out-of-towners might be good. Our best friend died in November and a mother of a friend offered to sit at the house while the memorial service was going on for home security sake. That is one that many don't think about.
I am so sorry for your loss.

Gift cards to their favorite restaurants are nice as well as for services (spa, nails, etc.). You could also offer to watch kids, mow the lawn, etc.

I see most folks answered with things I would have; paper products (don't forget boxes of tissues), stamps, coffee and other drinks, breakfast foods and other foods, offering transportation, babysiiting if necessary and house sittying during visitation and funeral, and other services are all great things and certainly necessary. I always take a spiral sliced ham - great for sandwiches and easy access. I take bag salad too - then they can open and eat when they have a chance to sit down. I've also taken thank you cards so they won't have to go out and purchase them and typed up a note for anyone bringing anything to address an envelope to themselves so the family members won't have to dig for addresses or remember what someone brought - a ledger/journal beside the note along with the envelopes!!!! Makes it very nice for the family.

I'm sorry for your loss.