A.D. asks from Petaluma, CA on February 08, 2008
Need Ideas for Pet Memorial
Hi
My family lost our beloved dog of 15 years today and needless to say my three children are devestated. Our boys are 10 and 9 and we have a three year old daughter. I am looking for a unique project or idea that we can do as a family to help us all remember her and grieve for her. The kids were all there when the accident occurred and helped us to bury her. Any ideas or thoughts are warmly appreciated. I just can't seem to think of anything special enough for her. I am just to heart broke. Thank you all. April
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So What Happened?™
I just wanted to thank everyone for the lovely overwhelming responses we received for ideas to honor our dog after losing her to a tragic accident. We decided to make a flower bed at her grave and each of us made our own headstones for her out of cement pavers. She is buried under a favorite tree in a nice area of our property. We had a sunset service several days after losing her and all three kids were able to honor her how they chose to. We were fortunate that they we were all able to say goodbye and be present for her burial. Thank you all for the beautiful responses and love that was sent and for sharing your own losses with us. This is a great resource of information.
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K.C. answers from San Francisco on February 09, 2008
What about gathering all of the photos you can with your family and pet...everything you can find. Go to kinkos and have color copies made. Get either a bunch of small frames or a large poster board and go to work. You can buy unique
sayings in the form of stickers or little metal tags (scrapbooking stores, target etc) with quotes or words that might pertain to your family/pet relationships. You could have each child make their own (to hang in their rooms) or a larger collage to hang in a family room or area.
So sorry for your loss. Pets become such an integral part of the family, it is absolutely devistating when we lose them. Best wishes to you and your family.
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S.L. answers from San Francisco on February 09, 2008
Hi A. -
What a sad time for you and your family. I am sure that your dog gave you many years of wonderful memories to cherish. There is a great picture book titled: Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judy Viorst that may fit your need perfectly. I found an excellent summary and have copied it for you below. I work in a school library and often recommend this book to families that have lost a pet. This book is suitable for all ages.
http://www.preschooleducation.com/br268.shtml
"Everyone who is a parent and has pets will eventually be faced with the sad reality of their child experiencing the death of a beloved pet. The Tenth Good Thing About Barney not only helps your child identify his feelings and accept the inevitable-but explains the ritual of death through a funeral.
Erik Bleguad's gentle sketches help tell the story of a boy and his cat-and how with the loving and tender help of his family, learns to cherish his memories and be at peace with knowing Barney could now be in a special place called heaven.
The symbolism of planting seeds to grow helps the boy understand life vs. death, and the never ending circle of life we all come to understand. The Tenth Good Thing About Barney will help you to comfort your child or grandchild through a difficult time in their little life, and allow them to grieve appropriately."
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G.T. answers from Fresno on February 09, 2008
Good morning April, I am glad I read this, because I think I might be able to give you an idea.
I am so sorry your kids had to witness such a shocking thing, I can't imagine what is going on in their hearts at the moment and yours trying to stay strong while you have your own feelings of loss.
I am imagining you will be placing your dog to rest near your garden...if so, perhaps you can share a burrial ceremony with your kids. Mine always participated willingly, ask them first.
To me, pets are family, and the link of love is everlasting between your kids and their beloved dog.
Taking active part in the going away/letting go ceremony gives your children something to hold on to until they accept the fact that their friend is no longer here.
It might be a good idea if they gather in a small box some items of theirs, to send out with the dog, also an old shirt perhaps, something that has their smell, and make that the dogs shraud. Also, place in the burrial some of the dogs toys, a bit of food, why not...smiles*...the Egyptians did this in hopes that the transition from earth to heaven would be easy. Whatever your believes are, this will be comforting to your boys and for the two of you, guide your kids to say a few words of gratitude for the good times, devotion and playfulness shared. I hope this helps, it is only an idea and you and your family will come up with more suitable things to do. Just remember it is a celebration of life, and it teaches your kids about life's circle, death included.
I have not written about me in this site because I just joined, may be for the second time and never thought I had much to say, my kids ages range from 33 to 14... I am glad for the opportunity to share. I am a professional artist, a painter and also love making ethnic art dolls, you can find my work at http://www.G..com.
Bright Blessings to your day, may the spirit of love abides in your family today.
G.
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M.P. answers from San Francisco on February 09, 2008
A couple of ideas for you. You can buy one of the kits to make your own stone (the kids put jewels, etc. and then can write the dog's name, dates, etc) and put it in a special place in the yard where you dog loved to play.
Another important idea is for your kids to make a memory book. You can have them write (or dictate) their memories of special times and activities they had with the dog. If possible, you can add photos. Then you can look at it whenever you'd like.... snuggle up on the couch and remember the dog. One last idea is for each of them to write a letter to the dog about what they'll miss, what they loved, etc. This can be in place of the memory book.
Hope this helps.
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T.C. answers from San Francisco on February 09, 2008
Hi Pam,
When we have lost a pet or someone in our family, what I have done for my boys is I get some balloons. We take sharpie pens and write our individual notes on the balloon and let it go up in the sky. When my oldest son was 4 years old, we lost my husbands grandmother. Branden was very close and had a real hard time of understanding. On the day of the funeral, I went got the balloons. He held them throughout the whole service. When we went to gathering afterwards, he was ready to let them go and he went to get his dad. They went to the field and let them go. Now they are 14 and 12 and we still do it. It really helps. We still talk about all the good times we had with them. I hope this may help. '
Love,
T. Caldwell
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S.L. answers from San Francisco on February 09, 2008
I'm sorry for the loss of your pet. It's hard to lose such an important part of the family. I understand the need to do something to preserve her memory.
The boys are old enough to help with a project. What about putting together a scrapbook or photo album? Have the boys help pick out the pictures and have each of them write their favorite memory of her. It wouldn't have to be a major project (unless you wanted to spend the time). Creative Memories has a quick kit made especially for pets. It could be completed as an afternoon project. If you're all up to a longer project, a photo album of your kids growing up with your dog would help them remember the happy times. The beauty of this project is that they can come back to it over and over again to remember the stories and your youngest can keep the few memories she has alive as well.
HTH.
S. Langmead in San Jose
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K.B. answers from Bakersfield on February 09, 2008
I am so sorry to hear of your families loss. I share the experience and pain of such an event.
I comfort myself and my sons with the knowledge that they are safe and healthy awaiting our arrival in heaven, along with other cherished family members.
Would it be possible to plant and flower plant or small tree where your beloved pet was buried? Perhaps place a small bench or chair there, where they can have quiet talks and rememberances of their time together. You can order a stone with the name and dates to place there as well. It is laser cut I think and it is quite reasonable in price too.
I hope this will offer some comfort and stimulate some ideas that will suite your family needs at this time.
Best wishes,
K. A. Belill
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R.D. answers from San Francisco on February 09, 2008
sorry 4 your loss. there is a great book called dog heaven by cynthia rylant and it can be a comfort to read and keep. we wrote a note to our dog, wrapped her in my bathrobe and put her favorite things in with her when we burried her. good luck.
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