How to Make Your Husband Fall in Love Again.

I don't really have any suggestions for you, I just wanted to give you a hug. That had to be a hard thing to hear. I hope things work out and you two get back on track. Hugs!

I don't think you can make him or anyone else fall in love... However, I do think you can begin to help you by possibly attending a 12 step for co-dependents (as the very question in my opinion kinda stems from a co-dependent relationship) in that you may think you have control or are responsible for his feelings, when really you aren't.. I suggest the 12 step program to you in a respectful manner but also from the perspective of once thinking I could get someone to love me who didn't .. In my case, it's been family members whose love I was seeking.. Since working a couple of 12 step programs, I now realize that I have no control over others and it's me I need to work on... Since letting go of this illusion that I can make someone feel something they don't, I now feel more free than ever before..

I wish you all the best

You can't make him do anything but you can do something yourself. This is what I learned from marriage counseling:

1. Touch. Touch him at least once a day. Subtle hand on the hips as you pass by in the hallway doing laundry or on the shoulder at dinner when you get off your seat.

2. Talk. Say one thing nice a day to him. Communicate in some way at least once a day. When you get into the hum drum of life you don't' realize how often you don't' talk for whole days. This was really hard for me.

3. Tokens. Buy something or do something that he may be frustrated with. If one day he says why don't we have any more nice towels. Go buy a new towel for him. If he wishes the seat was free of crumbs, make sure it's crumb free. If he likes a hot cup of coffee in the morning, make it.

4. Do something together. My husband and I used to make playlist on iTunes. Each month one of us picks a theme and each day we'd take turns to add a song so by the end of the month we had a 30 song playlist. We'd do themes like best renditions, summer songs, drinking songs, song about a boy who left home to find fame (we picked songs to make a whole story of it). Do something you can share. Chess? A 5000 piece puzzle on the table?

5. I forgot about date night... but he may not into that right now. If he is willing to work it out then you should try to do out on a date where you look at each other (not just a movie) once a week. Even if it's going to the park to play chess.

The idea is, love is not exciting forever without work. You do have to work at it. I thought these things were silly initially but I've found that it does invoke a response in the other person. If you think about it, are all these tricks any different from when we train dogs? Sad isn't it? But they work,even on me.

Each person has their own "Love Language" but if you do those things you can't say they are not worth your time. I think it's fantastic that you are reaching out to do something about it.

Now... I know we are still getting a divorce but... the one thing we were asked to do was to do it anyway for a year and if anything, we will learn to be better to the next person. The thing I think it also helped was for us to find love for each other again even if we didn't think we belonged together anymore. Without this, I imagine our divorce would be more ugly than it is and ever so often when one person is really angry, we do these things for each other to set things right again. To show we aren't really truly angry at each other.

Most of life is routine. The heels-over-head, can't-keep-your-hands-off-each-other stage can't last forever.
Is there anything the two of you still appreciate about each other? Focus on that.

I just have to say it: love languages; shomove languages.

If you've been married forever, then you know this man.
You know why you married him. Do you love him? Why? Tell him sometimes!

I agree with the posters who say you can't "make" anyone do anything.
All we can do is change our own behaviors and reactions.

Soooo...I'd suggest doing things that give YOU a sense of value. That can look like education, charity work, volunteering, sports, etc. I think we are always most attractive to others when we have a full life and a sense of purpose.

Good luck to you!

I agree with 5 love languages. If I had read that when iw as married, i would not be divorced right now I think.

Also, "a couple that prays together stays together".

NO love? None? Is he willing to try to get the thrill back? It sounds like you guys need some tools for recreating the intimacy between you. Start doing small things for him that you know that he likes. If he is willing to participate, buy small gifts for each other, one each week. I'm talking thoughtful greeting card, handkerchief/scarf in favorite color...something that will speak specifically to each of you and to your relationship. Go to the dollar store; don't break the bank. Buy his favorite childhood candy. It might be awkward at first, but if you are committed to it, it could be helpful. If you find that you have nothing to talk about on date night--yes, ma'am, you must commit to a date night, maybe once a month on your anniversary date--watch a comedy. There is so much power in being able to laugh together. Do that every time if you have to, at least until you're ready to venture beyond that. At some point, follow up the movie with dinner, where you can discuss the movie. Don't talk directly about your relationship all the time. That will become too taxing. Little by little, you can work your way to each other, if you want to. That won't necessarily mean that you'll be married to each other forever. You might realize at some point that you're better off apart. (I am NOT a believer in the whole "God hates divorce, so we shouldn't do it" thing.) Until then, you can learn to be soft and loving to each other. Give your hearts a chance to warm to each other.

Ephesians 5 gives instructions for Godly husbands to love their wives and Godly wives to submit to their husbands.

Two great books that take these themes to higher heights are "Love Dare" (used in the movie "Fireproof") and "Love & Respect". Try going through the 40 day exercise of Love Dare and then start applying the principles found in Love and Respect and see what happens.

Love is a choice. The better thing for you to do would be to work on yourself. Learn some new things and meet some new people. Men love the thrill of the chase. Most men are driven by what they see and the way to many a man's heart is through his stomach.

I also agree whole heartedly with the views expressed by Azireling.

Sounds to me like you have tons of work to do. Get to workin.

You can't MAKE him do anything. If he is involved in the church, I suggest counseling if your church offers it to try to get that fire back. If you want things to be better for you, perhaps check out the book 5 Love Languages? Tune into him and see what happens.

You cannot make a man love you. He is saying that he wants a divorce, isn't interested in your marriage anymore and the only reason he doesn't dump you is because of his religion. I think you have two choices here. If staying married for religious reasons is so very important to him, attending counseling to work on your marriage would be a good idea. However, if a man told me that he'd divorce me except that he's afraid God would be angry, I'd serve him with divorce papers and find my own place.
I've been married 22 years and things are very routine, but that doesn't mean that we no longer love each other. Routine you can overcome. Lack of love you cannot. Love is something that you feel, not something that you can will to happen.
Good luck.

You can't make your husband fall in love again. You don't "make" people do anything.

Communicate with him... let him know how you feel... do you love him?

"Getting him to notice you" sounds like it would be you doing all the work in this situation - he gets to sit back until you change in the way that makes him happy. With no guidance as to what that might be. That is a road to nowhere, m'dear.

You are actually not in a terrible situation, if you approach it the right way. He says he will not divorce, so kindly ask him if he is satisfied with continuing the way you guys are until you die, or if he would be willing to put a little work into it to try to make it better, so you both can enjoy and appreciate each other more for the rest of your lives. Sounds like a little effort might well worth it, yes?

Then sit down and discuss options to figure out what you would both be willing and not willing to try. No point in dragging him through some activity he doesn't want to do. Counseling is an obvious option, but maybe that's not where you or he wants to start. Fine. Next idea. Take a class together. Any class, doesn't matter - pottery, cardio boxing, French, photography, cooking... You could start with a one-time-only class or sign up for a series of several weeks to give yourselves a scheduled time together. Classes are great because you are not only spending time together, but you are learning something new, being around each other while learning, and there are other people/things going on around you to keep it light and interesting. Gives you something to talk about afterwards too, and a shared experience that is out of the norm is always has a bonding effect. Next idea. Write out three things you can each remember being excited about when you first met/started dating. Try remembering some of your favorite first dates and recreating them. Next idea. Each of you write out three things you have really, really appreciated about the other person at some point over the years. Post them on the refrigerator. Try to exemplify those things for the other person for the next month. Each time one of you notices the other doing one of the "appreciated" things, be sure to call it out, look them in the eye, smile and say "thank you".

I could write out ideas all night, but first and foremost you have to see if he will get on board with putting effort in. This should be for his own sake too - otherwise he is dooming himself to boredom and misery for the rest of his life. His fault, not yours. Plus, I'm not religious but I imagine that if God doesn't want divorce, he probably also doesn't intend for married couples to sit around being miserable when they could be doing something about it, right?

Good luck!

p.s. - Super important - make sure to be LOVING, not accusatory, when you talk to him about these things!! Team effort is needed here!

You can't make someone do anything they don't want to do.

Having said that, you have to make a choice regarding whether or not this is an OK situation for you and your children. If you both feel that divorce is not an option, then figure out what kind of arrangement would make sense for you.

It would not work for me, but I have a friend whose parents are essentially "roomies". They attend functions together, have meals together (if one doesn't have other plans), play tennis once a week, share a house, but not a bedroom, etc. They won't divorce because they also believe it is God's Law, but personally I think that it's because they are socially prominent and don't want the stigma.

Having said that, it works for them. They are friends, but lead very separate lives. They built a new home and it is U-shaped. They each have a bedroom on one side of the "U" with the common spaces in the middle and a tennis court and pool (two things they enjoy together) in the courtyard. Seriously. Sounds like a dorm.

You may want to try that as well.

If you both truly want to rekindle things....think about the reasons you fell in love in the first place and remind each other. Being "in love" takes a lot of work. Granted, you both have probably changed a bit since then, but surely there are things you still love about each other. Start there, and find new things to do together and/or love about the other person.

As others have said, you can't make a person do anything.

Seriously? He said that to you? HOW insensitive.

I would make an appointment with your spiritual leader or a counselor and get in there to address the key issues.

The Love Dare is awesome. I also recommend the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.

Well, the good news is that he has a Christian perspective. Since he does, check out "The Love Dare."

We can't control how others feel. But you do have control of how you treat yourself. I think the best thing you can do is Love yourself and do things to make you happy! Then he will see that you are happy and giving yourself love and respect, and it will be catching. Best of luck

I guess i can't answer that until i know what he replaced you with. Usually me paying attention to him is what he needs, and then it gets returned to me. but I don't know if that will work in your case, it sounds like you have tried.

sounds like a sad situation I hope you have something besides him that makes you happy.

How about trying a second honeymoon, where it's just the 2 of you together getting a chance to rekindle your romance and love?

You cannot make someone love you again.