11 answers

Help with My 13 Year Old Daughter - Happy Valley,OR

How do I make my daughter understand I am the mom and she is the daughter? I take care of her and she does not have to carry the weight of her taking care of me?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Sorry but she is growing up. I had my daughters doing laundry and cooking a couple of nights a week. If it is just the two of you it is a shared task to run the home and listen to each other.
She is no baby. Are you going to prepare her for life or be a helicopter parent.
I never have been the latter. I prepared my kids for life in the world and we do listen and suggest different ideas or help each other out. That is family life.

More Answers

Be the mom.
If she is taking care of you then you are letting it happen.

4 moms found this helpful

Some more details would be helpful...

4 moms found this helpful

Is there a reason, she thinks she has to take care of, You?

2 moms found this helpful

Your question is pretty vague.
Is there a reason she feels she has to take care of you?

My daughter was an angel until she it 15/16. Convincing her I was the mother was a whole different subject.
She became very selfish and didn't care about anybody.
It changed, thankfully, but I'm just curious as to what taking "care" of you means. Is she controlling? Does she doubt your ability to take care of yourself or the family?

It's hard to answer without more info.

Best wishes.

1 mom found this helpful

First I will say I am no expert. I have a 13 year old step daughter who we have 7 days on and 7 days off. I know she treats me different than her Mom, her mom gets the eye rolls and attitude but I don't even though I know she feels like doing that to me since I am strict and lay down the law pretty quickly when I see an attitude I don't like creeping up. I have to think that she treats me better because she knows she will not get away with it at all. First offense is pretty harsh, I ground right away or take away something that really means a lot to her like her laptop.

When I have an issue that I am unable to resolve on my own after trying and trying (like her daily chores not being done) I get my husband (her dad) involved and when Dad is involved you know things have gotten pretty serious so she staightens right up usually.

My husband and I have a 3 year girl and a 18 mos old girl together so I am sure I will be asking the same question in 10 more years, I hear these are real tough years and you would rather deal with the terrible 2's again.

One thing that is guaranteed to work is prayer, get on your knees and ask for wisdom!!!!

Big hugs!!!!!

I have a 13-year-old as well. I don't think she's ever felt the need to take care of me. Why does yours feel that way with you? We need a lot more info here to be able to answer the question helpfully.

Sorry but she is growing up. I had my daughters doing laundry and cooking a couple of nights a week. If it is just the two of you it is a shared task to run the home and listen to each other.
She is no baby. Are you going to prepare her for life or be a helicopter parent.
I never have been the latter. I prepared my kids for life in the world and we do listen and suggest different ideas or help each other out. That is family life.

Please can I switch your daughter for my son. You can care all you want for him and he will care squat back. And I would give anything for a child who cares about me.
Count your blessings.

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