HELP! I Guess I Am the ONLY Woman Who Doesnt Know Her Body

The best piece of advice I can proffer is to stop trying for 6 months. Seriously. Start trying again as an xmas gift to yourself.

The reason why stress messes us up so much is that it ISN'T all in our minds. Stress brings on an adrenalin response. In the short term adrenalin does the following:

- Speeds up our heartrate

- Pulls the blood from our limbs & skin surface to our core

- Shuts off the digestive response (hence why people throw up when nervous, or kids pee their pants, or in extreme situs people have uncontrollable bowel movements). This not only includes eliminating, but also shuts off our hunger response

- Halts our circadian rhythm (no rest / inability to sleep)

- Shuts off our immune response

- Halts the reproductive system (losing your period in minor cases, miscarriage in major cases)

- Heightens our emotions / emotional response to stimuli

- Uses a LOT of energy

(and about 40 other things, but those are the biggies just off the top of my head)

Honey... does this list sound familiar?

(( The Parasympathetic Nervous System is nicknamed "Rest & Digest", the sympathetic nervous system... we have a whole SYSTEM for EACH... is nicknamed "Fight or Flight" ))

In the extreme short term, our sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) is very very useful. In the long term, it causes sooooooo many problems. Stress triggers the sympathetic system, and we can live on it... but it makes us sick. Very very sick.

You've undergone a LOT of physical stress from surgery & healing (simple fact). You're also under stress trying to conceive (hence why so many women get pregnant on "vacation" or right after they've finally "given up" and in sooooo many cases, just after they've adopted a baby).

Give your body some time to heal, and time to take care of itself. Give it at least 6 months. Rest. Relax. Pamper yourself.

Think of it as "home remodeling" for the baby to come. The more rested and relaxed you are when you conceive the healthier the pregnancy will be.

So the best piece of advice I can proffer is to wait 6 months.

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It all sounds hormonal and hormones are controlled by your brain. If you're stressed out for any reason it can throw your hormones out of balance. If you're obsessed with getting pregnant and it's causing you stress then you're likely not to have success. I'd stop trying to get pregnant for now. I'd focus on getting daily exercise and eating well. Sometimes if you want something badly enough your body responds by sending out false hormonal signals like pregnancy symptoms even if you're not pregnant. Good luck with everything, I know it can be frustrating.

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It really does sound like something hormonal, though not necessarily pregnancy. I would request your doctor do some blood tests including hormone levels. I would ask for a thyroid function test (it makes you tired and messes up your appetite if it is low). It might also be something related to low blood sugar (headaches and being tired) especially since you are not eating well. I do sometimes get a month with bad PMS and periods(moody, irritable, tired but can't sleep, etc.) and some of it sounds a little like that. You can always try a pregnancy test again in 2 weeks just in case. I don't know but I am not a doctor.

I would look for some good information on the menstrual cycle. There is probably stuff online. I have heard there is a good book called Taking Control of Your Fertility (I think) written for women trying to get pregnant. I have a 20 year old copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves that has a great chapter on the menstrual cycle. It's very readable and has a chart with all the different hormone levels through the month. Briefly a typical cycle starts (day 1) when your period starts. Estrogen (and some additional hormones) increase for the first half of the cycle and this makes an egg ripen until it is released at ovulation then that hormone level drops. The place in ovary that released the egg starts releasing progesterone that then builds up the uterus lining. If there is no pregnancy the progesterone level peaks and drops off and when it drops you get your period and are back at the beginning of the cycle. If you get pregnant (about a 3-4 day window around ovulation) the fertilized egg implants 7-10 days later and starts producing another hormone (HGC) that builds up the uterus to sustain the pregnancy. Most pregnancy tests are testing the HGC level but sometimes a woman can only have a tiny bit that early on and it doesn't register.

Anyway, I'm not sure that much of the science is helpful but you can read various books and chart your cycle for a few months to figure out your own cycle and most fertile time. Because things seem so off for you right now I would write down what is happening for you and how you feel each day. Even if your doctor runs some tests and doesn't know what is happening yet you might start to see a pattern after a couple of cycles. If this goes on for a while you could try and endocrinologist or infertility specialist who might have more idea of what is going on. I hope it sorts itself out for you soon.

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Thyroid and low progesterone can cause pretty much all your describing. Ask your doctor to run some hormone tests.

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You should check into natural family planning. There are things you can do on your own to accurately chart fertility. If done correctly you can even know when you're going to ovulate, if you have successfully ovulated or not. Many women who have fertility issues have successfully conceived using natural family planning. If you have issues like pcos, fibroids, endometriosis or are perimenopausal, you might be a better candidate for NAPRO Creighton Method of family planning.

Read the following books:

Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler
The Art of Natural Family Planning by Sheila Kipley
Nutrition and Fertility Cycles by Marilyn Shannon

Also check out:
http://www.naprotechnology.com/
http://www.ccli.org/

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Ask your Dr. to do blood work to check your hormone levels. There are quite a few different ones that should all be checked under the same panel. Some of them are: estradiol, progesterone, TSH (thyroid), BHCG (pregnancy) etc... This will at least be a start to make sure your hormones are ok.
Good luck, I hope you feel better, and I hope you are able to get pregnant soon!!

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I would suggest picking up a copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Wesschler (sp?).
It will shed light on so many of your questions.

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Do you visit a reproductive endocrinologist? I have a story to share with you that may point you in this direction. I'll message you privately about it. In the meantime, I hope you can get more from the positive things that you have in your life at this time; these things can help you through this rough spot.

{{{HUGS}}}

My son is 7 months old and previoulsy I went they 2 miscarriages, which it sounds like you might have had. On my first miscarriage it was small blood clots and painful cramps. I went to the dr and he said I had had a miscarriage, I was probably only a few weeks along. As far as you're headaches go, i didn't experience a single headache my entire pregnancy, then blam, I had a 12-week long migraine!! I saw three doctors and finally went to a neurologist. He said it was my hormones after having my son. I was put on topamax (a migraine preventative) that has helped soooo much! So maybe the headaches are hormonal also? I would def see your doctor again and have a full blood screen done.
Good luck!

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! I would totally be panicking too, I think a lot of us would.

I don't know much about medical conditions, and I'm kind of at a loss for what your symptoms could be indicating - but I do think that you should have some diagnostic tests run. Have your blood taken, urine taken, maybe even an x-ray or something... I also think that maybe it could be something related to your hormones? You mentioned crying a lot, and all of this seems tied into your period... perhaps there is a hormonal thing going on?

Hang in there, and don't give up. Your guy instincts are the most powerful thing you have; if something is telling you that something is wrong.... trust in that until you feel at peace with it.

Best of luck to you, I hope you get well soon!

You have a computer, it is the information highway. Go online and read up on the female anatomy. Also look for info on gall bladder disease and surgery. Type in your symptoms and see what you can learn about possible causes. It will take a little time, but you can learn everything you need to know from the internet. In the last 5 years I have found the information I was looking for everytime! Make that computer work for you! It is a fountain of information! You need to know how your body works, it's important to stay informed. Do your research and write down the questions you want to ask your doctor. If he sees that you have been doing what you can to find the problem and listing questions for him, he will take you more seriously. Don't let him brush you off, some doctors don't listen real well.
Good Luck and I hope you find your answers.

sounds like stress to me! from your post it sounds like you have put tons of pressure on yourself to get pregnant, and after a year i wonder if you are just stressed out about it. i know it's easier said than done but you need to relax big time. spa day, mini vacation getaway, a girl's day...SOMETHING. focus on yourself and being the healthiest person you can be (both mentally and physically) and quit worrying about being pregnant, for awhile.

also, when i don't drink enough water is when i get headaches (bad ones!), cramps, irregular periods, just plain irregularity...drink at least 2L per day and see if that helps.

First- Breathe, girl!

Next- do you track your cycle or anything like that? Look into the book "Take CHarge of Your Fertility" I can't remember the author. But it is not just about the cycle but how to monitor and and how to read what is normal for you. Mucus is very normal during that time. We mostly don't see it because it is absorbed by our hygiene products.

Track your cycles for at least 3 months, 6 is better. The book will show you how. THis will give you and your doctor a starting point to see if any treatment is needed.
Get a blood test to make sure your thyroid is normal. Fatigue and appetite are symptoms of thyroid disease. Make sure you see an endocrinologist and not your regular GP or Gyn. They can also run a full panel of hormone tests to make sure everything is okay.

You do not say how old you are, but when I hit 35 my cycles changed a lot. Some months would be the great flood and others almost nothing. I never know what I am going to get. You can still write a calendar by when I start, though. They can also change if you have had wt gain or loss.

I hope that is a starting point for you! Good Luck!

How old are you? Have you had your thyroid checked? What about your progesterone levels? Have you charted your basal temps? Those are all things I'd look into. Also, if you can, you might check into seeing a naturopath.

I would look into other things. like maybe you're anemic, lacking iron or need some B12. are you exercising, drinking lots of water, lack of exercise can make you tired & not enough fluids can cause the headaches.

How old is your child. You may be going through menopause or something. Ask for a referral to a gyn. if you haven't done so already.

I agree with Lisa G. - seek out a naturopathic doctor.

Our mind is a magnificent thing. If you are paranoid about the way your body is acting, chances are, things will get worse, because you're almost expecting them to. If you're trying to have a baby, and searching desperately for the symptoms, your body is going to mess with your head. How old are you? Because right around 30, I started to have a lot about my body change. Things like my boobs hurting about a week before I started my period, when they never ever hurt before. I thought for sure I was pregnant. Also, I was super duper tired about a week or two before my period. I thought it was all my hormones from getting a little older and not being on birth control anymore (I had a tubal ligation after my second, so no BC needed), but everything came back in the normal range when I had my levels checked. As far as your fertile days of the month, do some research on the internet to find out exactly how to count the days instead of asking people. People can be wrong, but if you research it yourself on several sites, you're more likely to get some really great answers. I don't know what it feels like to desperately want to get pregnant, so I'm not going to pretend I know how you're feeling, but I have seen friends of mine do just about anything to get pregnant, and I guess I just have always wondered what the big fuss was about. Especially if you already have a child. I understand you want more, but let's just say that the only child you have in your life is the child you already have. Would your life be unfulfilled? Because I doubt it would. Being a mother is the same, whether you have 1 child or 7. You reap the same rewards and challenges. I think that if I were in your position, I would be searching internally about what is making me so unhappy in my life that I feel desperate to have another child. I know with my friends who have gone through the same thing, there has always been some type of void they were trying to fill with another baby. Once the baby was 1 or 2, they were desperately wanting another one again. It's like they were addicted to having a baby attached to them during the newborn phase and having someone 100% reliant on them. Once that phase was starting to come to an end, they wanted it again, so having a baby may not solve the yearning you're feeling at all, it may just take your mind off of it for awhile. Just something to consider, that's all

I have had fertility issues for 4 years. I'm an advocate for accupuncture and chinese medicine (herbs). My hormones were out of balance, according to the blood tests from the OB. After six months of weekly treatments, I was feeling better, and my periods were regular again. It can be expensive, but if you live near Austin there is an accupuncture school. Some insurance plans will pay for it too. BTW, I have gotten pregnant twice after accupuncture treatments. Also, my breasts started hurting a couple years ago. After I had a mammogram, I found out I had fibrous breast tissue and a number of things made the pain worse: caffeine being one of them... Evening Primrose Oil was prescribed by my doctor and it helped immensely. If you are trying to conceive, only take it the first 2 weeks of your cycle. It will also help with beneficial mucus for conception. Good luck!

If you get nowhere with your doctor, it is probably time to see a naturopathic doctor (be sure to get a referral as there are some weird ones out there). The naturopathic doctor will look for the cause of your symptoms instead of just treating the symptoms or telling you that it is nothing to worry about and sending you on your way.

I wouldn't say you are the only woman that doesn't know her own body. It took me a year an half to get pregnant with my first child. ( He is now 17) I also went a full year without having a period thinking I was pregnant each month when I wasn't. My doctor could not understand why that was happening and finally gave me meds to induce me to have a period. We finally decided that we were trying to hard to have a baby and quit trying. Of course after my husband lost his job, is when we found out we were pregnant. It also took me over a year to get pregnant with my second child also. My advice would be relax, quit thinking about it all the time and in time it will happen.

You may want to ask your doctor to explore whether or not you might have endometriosis. I have a friend that has this condition and it caused almost the exact same symptoms you're describing. They knew what it was when she was young though, and she was on birth control pills from the time she was 12 to control her symptoms.

Talk to your doctor about it. What could it hurt?

I would try a second opinion. It sounds as if sound is not right, and you need to know exactly what it is. It could be something really wrong and need some immediate medical attention. Good luck and God Bless.

Just keep being persistent. This same thing happened to me last october. I thought I was prego and took a test and it was positive and did the blood test and it was negative. I had all the symptoms and just knew I was prego. So I went to a party and drank alcohol just because my doctor said I wasn't prego. I felt awful 24/7, couldnt really eat, headaches, vomiting. I kept going back to my doctor saying "if I am not prego than what the H*** is wrong with me cause something is wrong!" Finally when I was 6 weeks prego I took another test and it was positive AGAIN and did the blood work and came back positive. I guess either I was just tooo early for the blood work to tell or it could be the IUD I had in and took out. This pregnancy has been way different than my first and my hubby and I think its cause of the Mirena IUD I had in... that thing messed up my body the second it was put in!

Good Luck... Keep trying... you do know your body and your the only one that does.

Maybe you had an early miscarriage. I don't know if your doctor already tested you for that, but you can have a early miscarriage and come out negative on pregnancy tests. I hope its not that. Since you are trying to get pregnant, it could be a possibility.

Also, you should have your thyroid checked. Your thyroid is a big contributor to your hormones. If they are off, then it could be that your thyroid is off.

Either way, I hope you are able to solve your problem soon and get on with your attempts at pregnancy. Good Luck!

Just an FYI, everyone hit the bleeding and cramping issues, I most agree with the miscarriages for the cramping and random clots, but I wanted to address the sickness feeling after you eat. Since you have had your gall bladder removed I would seriously decrease the amount of grease and fat in your diet. The gall bladder provides some of the stronger acid to help aid in digestion of greasy foods. This may be the reason for some of the pains after eating. Just wanted to throw my 2 cents in and I really hope you find some relief. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

I would be proactive and get your hormone levels checked along with a thyroid test. Get both thyroid tests done and see someone with experience in thyroids. they have a horrible range with thyroids 1 to 4 is normal but the range is up to a 5 so very general. They have the TSH test and another test that I cant think of the name! I would put a post up seeking woman in your area that have thyroid issues and find out who they go to for a dr. good luck! My sister had endometriosis and if my mom just listened to the doc instead of seeking for the right doc all of my sisters would have never been able to reproduce!

So sorry to hear about what you're going through. We went through 2 yrs of infertility and it's a living hell. I think though you need to take a breath and reread your post, look at what you're saying. And the reason I'm saying the things I'm saying is because I can look back now and realize how I was emotionally at the time of going through this. We finally got preg with twins through IVF.

Look at your post...All your symptoms your listing are because you want a baby so bad and it's not happening so your depressed. (not saying this in a bad way, it's what happens to us) the headaches, the lack of appetite, the other symptoms sore breast, the way your period is,cramping are all due to your either not ovulating or you're ovulating later so your period comes later. Even now I can have "serious" PMS (same symptoms as you) for two weeks before I get my period. The stress of wanting to get pregnant is also a big factor of everyone of your symptoms. It's amazing the way stress can affect your body.

If your doc hasn't done any blood work ask him too. It's not going to hurt anything and it will hopefully relieve some of the stress on you as to whether something is or isn't going on with your body. When going through this, it's so easy to convince ourselves something's wrong when it's not, so do the blood work and rule that out. Goodluck

If you are feeling that bad and have no energy and all of these things wrong then you DO NOT NEED another baby. Do not get pregnant and just work on getting yourself well and being healthy.
When you are feeling better then think about another baby. Do not add more when you can not handle what you have.