Something unusual happen, behavior from my 5 year old that i never noticed before.
She closed herself and her 3 yo sister in walk in closet (very generous size) with light on to try on grandma's dresses on, this on the first floor, i went out into garage for about 5-7 min to help with shopping, so i did not hear the girls calling me.
Meanwhile, my 5 yo daughter was trying to open the door, the lock jammed, she couldn't open it so she started panicking, screaming, saw a mug on the floor and threw it through the glass door and crashed the glass into million of pieces , run through the glass upstairs to me, totally shaking and saying she was so afraid she got locked in and couldn't get out! she was afraid i wont come get her! there were 2 other people in the house her dad and grandpa.
Very often she locks herself at home in the bathroom or closet, she's always able to open the door. she is never ever been left alone at home, she's never been afraid of closed spaces. The only thing i can think of is the elevator , when the door closes she is panicking that she could be left behind or at night she wants me to leave the door to the bedroom open when she goes to bed. but i thought it was completely normal.
I can no t imagine why would she feel the need to throw a mug through the glass, she is a bright girl, knows the effect of throwing something at a glass, also she knew we were home and only left the room about 7 min ago, so they were not alone for a long time.
im concerned that its some kind of claustrophobia and some other type of physiological issue. she was really frighten shaking , but thankfully only had 2 minor scratches, and none on her sister!!
she does not explain why she felt that way, she just says she needed to get out immediately and she was upset we didn't hear her right away
I would appreciate any thoughts on this, thank you for your help
It seems excessive to you because you weren't the one locked in a room for 7 minutes. In the grand scheme of things, 7 minutes is a very tiny amount of time. To a kid, without a watch, trapped in a small space, it could be an absolute eternity.
I'll put it this way: Remember labor pains? They're only 1.5 minutes long (give or take) but it sure felt like longer, didn't it? And you were an adult with acess to a clock.
Panic is not rational, and in fact pretty much overrides rationality when it hits. This happens even to adults. Plus the 5yo mentality is still filled with imaginings, magical thinking, and unanswered questions, which can make them susceptible to wrong interpretations of a situation. It does sound like your daughter has already exhibited some anxiety about closed/locked spaces, and it's possible that deliberately locking herself into a closet is an unconscious (or conscious) way to deal with her fears. This time it backfired.
If in coming weeks your daughter seems unusually sensitized to elevators and the like, she could be exhibiting trauma. You might look into EMDR therapy, which is non-invasive and can often quickly help trauma victims get their lives back.
I wouldn't say this is odd at all. She was locked in and freaked. Happens to people all time.
sounds like me as a kid...I cannot even tell you how many articles of clothing I have riped and ruined in the store trying them on and feeling stuck and scared and doing whatever I can to get out...and that is just clothes...lol it is so bad my husband just laughs at me. Small spaces does it even more for me...I cannot imagine beign closed into a closet eeek!
To a 7 year old who really doesn't know what to do I can see a mug going flying...
I can understand 100% why she just had t get out immediately!!
I wouldn't worry too much about it. I remember when I was a little girl (maybe 5 or so) I went to a public restroom while my mom waited in front of the door. When I was done I wasn't able to unlock the door right away. I completely panicked and started to cry and scream and bang at the door like a crazy person right away. I think they whole thing took about 30 seconds to be resolved, but I freaked out right away and panicked like crazy. It didn't cause any huge fears of enclosed spaces for me and I didn't have any before either, it was just this one moment of complete panic. It only happened once to me in my entire life. I think as long as panic attacks like this one are not becoming a regular thing, there is probably nothing to worry about.
I'd suggest to teach her not to lock doors for now and just keep them open a crack to be on the safe side.
This reminds me of the time my daughter was playing at her friends house. The girls closed the bedroom door and played for a good hour upstairs without issue. When the friend went to open the door the doorknob came right off and the girls couldnt open the door. The friend started freaking out, hitting the door with the door knob to the point where she put giant holes in the door. The mom and I were downstairs having coffee and were upstairs in a matter of two minutes of hearing the initial "help" call. I think sometimes we are all capable of following the fear and anxiety inside rather than our logical internal voice. Kids sometimes can't reign it back in. I would talk to her about the situation and tell her to leave doors open a bit so it doesn't happen again. She may have some underlying anxiety but I wouldn't rush to label based on this situation.
For a lot of people, any age, calling for help and not getting a response can trigger a panic reaction. This doesn't necessarily signal any underlying phobia. With your daughter, I'd focus on future prevention, as in "Remember, doors can get stuck, so be careful about closing them unless a grownup is right there." The whole incident may also be a sign that they're too little to be left alone, even when adults are in earshot.
Best wishes,
Mira
