Advice on "Teens and Drugs"

Updated on February 15, 2008
A.S. asks from Bay Shore, NY
5 answers

I need a good approach to asking my daughter weather or not she has ever smoked pot when I know that she has already.

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L.D.

answers from New York on

I believe in the direct approach, if we are up-front and honest sometimes it makes them more up-front and honest. Just a thought.

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S.P.

answers from New York on

A.,
Honesty is the best policy with your children especially when discussing drug and alcohol use. I frequently talkmto my (almost 13 yesr old) daughter about the pressure kids are under and the reality of what goes on out there. That said, could the comment about being "high" been in relation to something else???
If you are sure she is using, you must talk to her today no matter how uncomfortable you are. Just try to stay calm and assure her she is not in trouble if she is truthful. Then lay down your expectations with her.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!
S.

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N.F.

answers from New York on

Hello A.

I don't know how your relationship is with talking with your daughter and se may or may not tell you the truth anyway.

The bottom line is our kids are consistently exposed to all kinds of negative choices in life. Most of the time the root to doing them is fear. Fear of not being like the "rest" of the crowd, fear of things not working out in there lives, fear of rejection and so on.

In raising my daughter and my step son, we have found that rooting them in the love of God is the only way they can overcome all these pressures of life. They must first realize that we all need to hold on to a heavenly Savior like a parachute that would save our lives.

My husband Pastors a church and we have helped many young and old who have turned to drugs and ruined there lives to living a productive drug free life.

Now you might be thinking, she isn't that bad, and maybe so. But little seeds of wrong grow into big bushes that can change our destiny in life.

If you feel that this can help you and your daughter, feel free to contact me.
I would also invite you and your daughter to come and hear a young women of 28 years old sing at our church on Saturday 2/23 @ 7 PM. The cost is free.
You can go to our website and click on events and see what she is like. She is great with the youth.
www.LTFCHURCH.com

You can take control of the destiny of your childs life.

N. F.

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S.G.

answers from New York on

A.,

geez, it only gets harder, doesn't it?? i have always said i plan to discuss things openly, honestly, and no holds barred with my kids as they grow up. i might just start a discussion during an activity (i've heard that's the best way to talk to kids-less threatening) about your teen years and how who did what(drinking, drugs, sex, etc.)as if you're reminiscing and then sort of slide in the question about who does what at her school and if anyone she knows has tried it. it might give her the opportunity to open up. also, you can play dumb and say you heard someone refer to another as being 'high' and ask if it still only means on drugs or has different connotations these days. if she doesn't take the bait, i might push and say 'so if i read somewhere you had been high, what should i think?'.

just my 2cents.

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J.M.

answers from New York on

I am not sure how you want to address this but you can buy over the counter drug test at your local pharmacy. My nephew was in trouble and we bought a test - he tested postive and we made him talk to a counselor. With that he was extremely scared and knew that when we said we were goign to test him randomly that we were serious. He stopped smoking pot until he was 18 and free to do what he wanted (he left home at that age). At least while the child is a minor you can have control over her actions.

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