Our oldest son is 15 1/2 years old He has begun begging and whining.
Of course he was the model child till he turned a teenager I know most of his issues will pass with time, BUT any suggestion how to get him to stop begging and whining?
whenever I say no he says "But mooooooooooooom why not? He sounds like four year old. Of course he does not do it for his dad only me I am soooo lucky. I would love to have a clever come back instead of saying "because I say so".
My mom used to tell me, "because I'm the mom, and you da kid, that's why".... lol... she still likes to tell me that....
B.
I just walk away and do not respond to them when they act that way.
*whiney voice* Becaaaaaaause Biiiiiiiilllllyyyy, I saaaaid soooooooo. =) Yea, sounds pretty silly doesn't it son? Don't whine at me please. Every time you whine you get to pick up dog poo AND not get what you are asking for. Feel free to whine away, I hate dog poo in the yard! *big smile*
Well, sarcasm doesn't always work but hey, sometimes it is fun to rule the roost. =)
How about using "Love you too much to argue!"? That and a million other fabulous one liners are given out in the new parenting approach I'm trying on my 7, 4, and 2 year olds! Check out loveandlogic.com - they have lots of great books and even one or two on dealing with the teenage years. I've found all of their stuff to be invaluable! Now if I could just remember all of it when I need to use it!
Good luck!
K.
Hi! That sounds so frustrating! I would think that he must be getting some reaction from you if he keeps on doing the same thing (especially whining like that at 15!). My suggestion would be to just ignore him and walk away. He must like the attention or whatever reaction you are giving. Give no reaction- just leave. May take a little while, but it can't hurt.
We have a phrase in our house, "I don't speak whine." Any thing said to me in a whiny voice will not be answered. If they continue to whine, they go to their rooms until they "remember" how to speak normally and respectfully. The boys still try to whine occassionally, but when one does the others remind him that Mommy doesn't speak whine.
Although my son is only 18 months, I have almost 10 years experience with teenagers as a high school teacher and when I have students who exhibit inappropriate and annoying behavior, I refuse to be engaged. When your son whines, I would say "I will not discuss with this you as long as you're whining/speaking to me this way/etc." and I, personally, would just leave the room. Like kids at any age, they behave a certain way to ellicit a certain response. It sounds like your son is trying to get his way by annoying you into giving in. Depriving him of this opportunity should hopefully break him of the habit - once he learns he'll get no response at all, he should start to come around. But like I said, my son is just a baby so I'm not technically the expert, but this has been my experience with other teenagers and it's how I plan to deal with my son when he gets older. Good luck and I don't envy you! ;)
And in my humble opinion, sarcasm isn't effective and can actually be damaging because even at 15 1/2, kids don't always pick up on it and can perceive it as cruel or hurtful. Plus, it just reinforces that this is appropriate behavior, which it is not, because if your son were sarcastic to you, you'd probably be offended. Just be careful with that.
M.,
I think the way you handle it all depends on how you handle other things. I'm a sarcastic person. So, when my 15 year old sister does something childish like that, I just do it right back to her, "Beeeeecaaaaaaausse, Toooooriiiiii." Usually, she'll laugh at it and then I can tell her the reason why and that she sounds like a child when she acts that way. Or, if she whined like that, I would just look at her, chuckle and say, "Yeah, whining's going to get you what you want." And just walk away.
Some people may disagree, but I think that if you make him feel silly for acting that way he'll realize it's not going to work to get what he wants.
Hi,
I know your son is older but I would try to use Magic 1-2-3. It is a way to disipline without yelling or getting carried away. You can get the book or the video from a local library. It is actually called Magic 1-2-3. I would honestly recommend the video because the video will walk you through the process. If your library does not have the book or video, they can get it for you from another library.
(It is basically a 1-2-3 time out type of disipline, but it is simplified. Teens do not want to be counted to and put in a time out)
M.:
Tori has a great suggestion/ I would tell my children I could not hear them when they spoke to me that way.
P.
