3 1/2 Year Telling Lies, What Do I Do?

http://www.parenting-ed.org/handout3/Specific%20Concerns%...

I found this article helpful. My little girl is learning what truth is now as well. I don't look at it as lying though, she's only 3. She doesn't understand what lying is. I ask a lot of questions to try to get to the root of her emotions and what is going on and say maybe it would be better next time if we...and we talk about healthy ways to respond. It's an awesome time to work on training my daughter about honoring her emotions and validating them in a way that won't have negative consiquences in her life.

I to have experienced this with my oldest children and still do occasionally. According to a parenting email I received from babycenter.com, this stage is typical and the child actually believe they are telling the truth because they have convinced themselves that what they say is true (even if they are caught in the act!).

Check out this link: http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-3-year-old-timeline-why-...

If the link doesn't work for you, message me and I can send you the email.

Have a GREAT day!

S.

It is normal for kids to stretch the truth or test out fibbing right now. The big thing is to let her know the difference and give her a chance to redeem herself. WHen she lies and you know she did ask her nicely "well, I want you to think hard, is that what happened really?", giving her a chance to process the truth. If she still lies, then have consequences. It is a normal phase, you just have to really nip it in the bud so it is just a phase.
Both of my kids would fess up if I gave them a chance to not being angry at first but tell me the truth.
Then I had this rule, "you may get into trouble for the bad deed, however if you lie about it the consequences are going to be worse"..I stayed true to my word, and it worked like a charm! Both know that the truth may get them in trouble but if they lie it is way worse!
Be consistent, but give her a chance to fess up first.
Then explain "we do not lie, you need to tell us the truth so we can believe you". Another thing I did with my daughter was if she told me the truth after lying a bunch I told her "well I have a hard time believing it is the truth you have lied so much"...she was older then but it worked in her brain to realize if she lies, then tells me the truth about something I am going to have a hard time.
A boy I watch started lying to me, I explained that if he got hurt and I asked how, it was so very important I know the truth and I won't tolerate him lying to me. Explaining why the truth is important. He had to sit in time out then I would have a talk about being honest.
Takes time but she is fine, it is normal and all kids go through this phase.
If you think she is having a hard time knowing what is a lie and the truth give her examples. Like show her an apple and say "this apple is blue"...see what she says, then point out that would be telling her a lie, that it is really red....easy stuff to use as examples.

Like the others have said, a 3-y-o does not really understand what lying is. A way to teach this concept in a loving way is: When you catch the child in a lie ask, "Oh! That's a great pretend story! I'm going to tell you a pretend one, too." Then tell an outrageous lie, laugh, and say, "That's not real, is it? The real story is . . ." Then invite the child to tell you the real story. This makes it a game to learn the difference between truth and fiction. Good luck!

On average, I think this is pretty normal. Little kids this age are living in fantasyland most of the time. Since she is a little girl, she loves the attention and she is a drama queen. I would not place too much emphasis on it right now. You might say, "Are you sure?" I have a little boy that is five and he still gets carried away with his stories. I know that when I was little I would make up wild stories because I always got my mom's attention and otherwise she would not talk to me. Just an idea!

I did this as a child and it was when my older brother went to school. My mom figured out it was to get attention and be as interesting as my brother. Perhaps you need set aside some special time for her alone and let her know she does not need to lie to get your attention.

At age 3, she simply cannot differentiate between something interesting she's created in her head and true, believable reality. Punishing her for lying would only confuse her, since she hears everyone around her talk about theoretical things she cannot see or understand, and doesn't necessarily understand how those ideas are real but hers are not and she is punished for sharing them. It's important to be gentle as you deal with this very normal stage so she does not receive the message that her ideas are bad and not valuable.
It's not until age 5 that children can imagine what it's like the be someone else and see another person's perspective. So she really can't imagine what you're thinking as you listen to what is clearly a fantasy story.
Consider reading some fairy tales and talking about how they are so fun, but pretend. Consider making up stories together and talking about how they are fun, but pretend. My kids just love flannel board stories and putting "shows" on for each other. Perhaps a chance to tell a story with the family listening would help snuff out the desire to tell false stories and let her get the attention she seeks. You might appreciate the book "How to Talk to Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk." It's a classic.
Best wishes!

its just normal for this age, and it will pass. I wouldnt give in to it though if its to avoid something she has done, or to get attn. just dont pay much attn to it...again, it will pass.

My 4 year old is in this stage. I try to call her on it and tell her that what she is telling me is lying. When she really wants something she will hide it and then lye that she has nothing. I have to tell her to be honest and tell me what she has. It's slow progress, but she's starting to understand that I'm happier if she shows me or tells the truth right away.

Good luck!

I think that whether or not a 3 1/2 year old understands lying or not entirely depends upon the 3 1/2 year old. I know some that would have no concept & others who know exactly what they're doing. Trust your gut on that one - you know your daughter best. If you do feel she is lying you could try what I did with my daughter when she started lying. I believe in natural consequences - so I decided that the natural consequence of lying is that people won't believe you or trust you. When my daughter would tell me something - even something obvious like the sky is blue - I would tell her that I didn't believe her. It really upset her. She wanted to know why I didn't believe her. I told her it was because she had told me things that weren't true, so I couldn't trust that what she said was true. She was not happy about that. I then made a deal with her that if she always told me the truth, I promised to always believe her. She has been truthful with me since then - I saw an immediate effect. I think she was closer to 4 at the time, so I don't know if your daughter is old enough to understand the concept, but if she understands lying, my guess is she could understand this. Good luck!