To Sibling or Not to Sibling?

From the day we announced we were going to have the G-man, people have been asking if we are going to have another. My standard response was that we were going to try to keep the one we already had alive first. Like I could really think about more when G-man was just a few hours old?

But now that we’ve managed to keep him mostly safe and sound for two years, the question is still looming. But unlike others that always knew they wanted lots of babies or can’t wait to see their family grow and be Parents 2.0, our decision is based mostly on the G-man: does he need/want a sibling? We are perfectly happy and complete with one (or as the blogs call him, a singleton), but is he?

Scott and I both have siblings so we can’t imagine an accurate picture of growing up as an only child. Is there too much pressure placed on them with having both parents full attention? Are they lonely? Or, are they happy to receive the full force of love, maybe better finances, a room of their own, the back seat all to themselves? This seems like a question for my mom as she was the only apple of my grandparents’ eye (which to be honest, we sometimes teased her about. Hmmm…).

I think if I ask people with and without siblings I’ll get a wide range of answers, even in the same family. For instance, I tend to think that my appearance in my older brother’s life caused such a cataclysmic shift that he never fully recovered and I, in some ways, ruined his life. I feel bad about that. On the other hand, my younger brother’s arrival into my life was one of the best things that could have happened to me and the joy I had when he came home from the hospital is one of my fondest childhood memories.

And let’s face it, a lot of my best stories growing up are because I had siblings. Good or bad, the experiences made me who I am today and shaped our relationships.

Maybe the answer differs from where you are in the birth order – first, middle, last. Maybe it’s a result of whether the new sibling is the same gender. Or how far apart you are in age. Or how close your birthdays are (I’m the day before my older brother, something I don’t think worked out so well). Thus, the questions I would have for the G-man are posed to both only children and the oldest child (as those are his two options right now) and just a curiosity into how gender plays into it.

I know lots of you will think about what it’s like to be a parent of one vs. more and how your children interact, but that’s not on our radar right now. We know his life would change with a sibling, but would it be for good or evil?

Thoughts?

Debi is a stay at home/work at home mom to a toddler born December 2007, one feisty cat and the world’s neediest dog. Her husband Scott does his best to keep her sane amidst the daily chaos of their lives.