Photo by: Cameron Cassan

Some Days, Parenting is... Hard

Photo by: Cameron Cassan

Some days, parenting is… hard

That was my exhausted thought as I drove my daughter home from swim team one night last week.

The whole day had been a battle.

I can’t even remember as I write this what the issues were, but it just seemed like everything was a challenge that day.

Maybe it was because we had a busy schedule and I was being impatient.

Or maybe it was because she’s almost eleven and she’s becoming more independent.

Whatever the reason, I was frustrated.

She was mad.

And it was one of those days.

So there we were, driving along, on the heels of an argument, and I was done.

I sighed.

She sighed.

I could almost hear her arms crossing in the back seat.

We were both quiet.

And in that silence, as we drove down the freeway, the sun setting in the distance, a thought came to me.

“You know what?” I said.

“What?” she answered, sulking.

“I just realized, even when we have our differences, you and I are still more the same than we are different.”

She didn’t say anything.

“And I think the fact that we disagree sometimes might be good.”

“Why?” Her voice softened.

(Was that the sound of her arms uncrossing?)

“Because I see your determination. You’ve got a strong will, and you can do a lot of great things with that in life.”

“Hmm,” was all she said.

We drove along, maybe another five minutes or so, and then…

“Mommy?”

“What?”

“I love you.”

It took me by surprise.

I smiled in the darkness.

“I love you too.”

“Thank you for taking me to swim tonight.”

I got a lump in my throat.

“You’re welcome.”

And that one moment—that glimmer of sweetness in between the day’s bickering—reminded me that even though some days, parenting is hard,

in the end,

it’s still good.

Genny lives in California with her husband and two kids, where she balances writing with motherhood and loves both. You can find her writing regularly at her blog and can read more about her books and articles at GennyHeikka.com. Follow her on twitter @GennyHeikka.

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65 Comments

I understand completly how you feel, my 15 year old & I have that same feeling..& it always ends in an I LOVE YOU! Thank you for the post!

WOW, this is great. A nice reminder that it is worth it!!! At the end of the day, they are what matters.

Such a great story. It reminds that even though my very strong-willed 4 year old son and I may butt heads now and again, there are always those precious and amazing moments when he comes running to me and says "Hug Mommy!" which make it all worthwhile. Even when I scold him or don't give in to every one of his requests and he says "I don't like you very much right now" ... I know in my heart he will always LOVE me!

I share the same feeling with you. I have 4 boys of my own and yes life has its ups and down. Being a parent is not a easy thing, but taking it a day at a time is the best part of it. My oldest is 24, then 21, then 16 and my baby is 11. All very independent because I raised them this way. Not to be perfect kids, but to be able to survive in our world. I go through disappointment like you say only because I feel that what they do is not enough, yet its the best they can do...

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Wow, just beautiful! It will be ALL WORTH IT in the end... when they come back to thank us as young adults... that's what I did :-)

Love you!

http://www.ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com

I also have an 11 year-old daughter who has a lot of my attributes and sometimes I'm frustrated at her strong will...but that same strong will also is what motivates her to do things without being asked and doing well in school. You have to love the whole person. I saw myself in your story. Thanks!

Thank you so much for that. I was beginning to think i was the only parent that felt that way. My almost 13 year old daughter and i often have these moments

Excellent!

that was a great story . . i am inspired and got more challenged to be a great mom . .

As the mother of almost-eleven-year-old twin girls, this was just what I needed to hear. Beautiful vignette - thank you!

Genny,
Thank you for bringing tears to my eyes this morning and for the reminder that even when parenting is hard (and it always is) the Lord gives us glimpses into what is going well at times. I love when He does that for me and I'm glad on this especially rough day, He did that for you too! :)

I have six children four boys two girls. My boys give me some trouble, but my girls. They are 11 and 13 and we argue a lot. When they were younger they would never thought to raise there voice or question me. Your story just reminds me that I am not the only one and I would not change my girls for anything. It takes patients to be a parent.

That was so precious. I love it.

Genny,

I was brought to tears to see that despite what differences and mere scuffles you and your daughter may have had, you both maintained your maturity and communication at a more than respectable level. As we learn through experience as we raise our children, calm and concise communication is the best way to get through as well as speaking at thier level of vocabulary...

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just what I needed to read after several trying days with my two girls ( especially the oldest one who is 6.)Sometimes we just need to be reminded we are not alone in the trials of parenting.

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