Work or Unemployed?

Hi T.,
The answer is, she doesn't work!
The newborn needs his mother more than anyone else at this time in his life, sick or not!
At least for a couple months, she needs to be there for the baby, no matter what anyone else says.
After a couple months, if she NEEDS to work, (living with her parents, its usually them who say you have to work), then she needs to find someone else to train, that she trusts, to take care of the baby's medical needs. (She shouldn't be the only one trained for this anyway, there should be others so she has help, and everyone needs help!)

I would check if the baby qualifies for SSI and medicaid. Also, see if the hospital where you delivered has a case manager who can help you find out if you can get some services. You may be able to get some type of home nursing care, possibly covered by insurance. See if your parents or other trusted adults are willing to get the medical training. When I had my daughter she was sent home on an apnea monitor after a few weeks in the NICU. Due to my c-section getting infected I went back in the hospital the week they were releasing the baby. In all the chaos the hospital case managers (a nurse and a social worker) got me, my husband, my mom and my sister all trained on the apnea monitor (free) and then arranged some home nursing visits (only 3 but covered by insurance).

Both my babies spent time in the NICU--it is rough having a newborn and even harder if there are significant medical issues. Hang in there, it gets better and you get adjusted even to the medical stuff.

Does your baby qualify for home-based nursing care? Also, ask your pediatrician about medical day care--I used to work as a pediatric occupational therapist in Delaware, and Bayada Nurses (I think it was) used to have a few nurse-run day care centers for this sort of situation. Best of luck to you and your baby!

You can try to train someone else, and then eventually you can go back to work. It may not be right away, but if you really want to go back, take the time to find someone willing to learn how to take care of your baby. It would give me peace of mind to know that whoever is taking care of my baby is doing what I taught them. Good luck!

Dear T.,

Why not look into being a foster MOM,

Its a job your already doing, but for an additional child.
and they pay you to do it.

Also, why not try getting your own place first.

M

I'm wondering if there are any government or non-profit programs that can help you. I wonder if you can get into a program that helps with child care while you finish a degree or training program. I agree that you should try to stay at home for a few months but you should also look ahead to your future financial security. It might be a good idea to contact a social worker for information. I also wonder if there is a way that you can connect with other moms in your situation. Maybe there is a yahoo group. Perhaps you can share childcare duties.

Just some thoughts... I wish you all the best of luck & hope your little one does well.

Check with the hospital and see if they have a care training program. I was under the impression that a sick infant that needed special care would not be released home until adults had the proper training. Mom might also be able to get SSI on babies behalf to help with expenses if Mom can't because of needing to care for the baby. Plus there is WIC for other needs. There may also be some state run (not welfare) programs that can help. If your child really needs your care you shouldn't have to work. I hope you find something.

Another option I heard about on the radio yesterday... www.newhomebasedccr.com . It looks legit. As long as they don't ask YOU to pay anything it's probably ok. The radio doesn't usually advertise work at home job scams. I am not connected with this, just passing on the ad I heard.

you can get a case manager through Early Intervention services to help with getting nursing care for your child. Email me if you need any help. ____@____.com

have others trained. but i'd be nervous for awhile.

I work for a legitimate company that has been around for 25 years and has been in the Inc. 500 magazine. They are wonderful, and I cannot begin to tell you how much this business has truly blessed my family! I really want to help other moms in this financially difficult time! There is NO selling, no inventory to stock/ship, no parties, and NO RISK! Only $1.00 until March 17th!!! Request more info. at www.WorkAtHomeUnited.com/H. or call me ###-###-####

When I was home with my sick child I found work that I could do from home. some part time work for 4-5 hrs. Will help out a bit with bills and all the other stuff you have to buy. Good luck and God Bless.

Hi T.. I know how hard it can be to care for a sick child. I have a 14 month old daughter who was born with complete heart block (she had a surgery at 9 days old to get a pacemaker implanted). Then at 3 mo. old, she developed dilated cardiomyopathy (a life-threatening form of heart disease). She also had to have another surgery in Dec. to close a PDA (a "hole" above her heart). Phew. We have ENDLESS eating issues due to her heart problems. Always, weight issues. There were times when we were feeding her with a dropper. THIRTY droppers equalled one ounce of formula! Only to have her throw it all up. Ugh. There were weeks where I was crying EVERY DAY. Feeling lost, confused, angry, saddened, etc.

I guess what I want to say is maybe right now, you can't work. Maybe just right now, you need to be home with your baby. Your infant will require different help as he/she grows, and perhaps that will be when you will be able to hand the reigns over to someone while you work. I am here to say take advantage of as many programs (Early Intervention, food stamps, WIC, etc.) that you can now, and just hold on.

Good luck.

It seems to me you have already made the decision.

You were trained by someone to care for your son. There are people out there who are also trained. Can you have someone come in and help with your son? Where are your friends? Can they help out too?

Can your parents take turns with you to care for your son? How flexible are your work hours and load? How much is a priority for yourself the need for income? Unemployment does have an expiration date. Are your parents willing to help you more, afterall they are providing a roof over the head of you both? Are you being fair to them?

Many single women have your delimma. Your newborn needs to be loved and nurtured, and you both need to bond. You just need to determine how you are going to do it.

Make a decision in the best interest of your son for both long term and short term. Hope this is helpful to you.

You can't. Take State Aid if necessary but your child is the most important thing in the world. Good luck and I hope your baby is okay.

Hi T.
Sorry your newborn is so sick.
It is so difficult to have a sick child.
Please accept my prayers for him and you as you care for him.
As for your question. Why not check about disability, while you are home with your sick son? Is it available for him? you?
I can tell you having a sick child is very difficult in a two parent home. My comment is how I made the decision to stay home, and not even put him in a nursery at our church. You see, we were dealing with SIDS, back before monitors. So I said, if he died I would feel guilty for not being with him, and the caregiver would always feel they had done something wrong. We chose to live on one income, using all ways to save a penny.
God bless you and give you strength.
God bless your son and heal his body
K. --- SAHM married 38 years --- adult children 37,33, and twins 19. All were ill and at one point or another I was told they were going to die. Today they are coach; lawyer; fine arts major with GPA 3.8; and journalism major with GPA 3.7 respectively. God has been good to me.

Can you take a FMLA leave from your job?
Can your parents be trained?
Can your insurance cover a nurse?

T.,

I'm so sorry to hear that your baby is sick. If it is at all financially possible for you to stay home with your baby, I would try that for as long as possible. At least until you can have your parents trained or see if you can get a nurse. If the baby's father is around to help and is responsible, let him help, not only financially, which he has to, but with the actual care.

Good luck, I hope your baby recovers quickly.

R.

I'm sorry that you are in this position. I, too, have a daughter who has health issues (she was born with several heart defects and has had open heart surgery and two catheterizations). I know how hard it is to allow someone else to care for your baby, especially when they have health issues. However, it would seem to me that since they were able to train you to do it, you would be able to train someone else to do it. I would look into seeing in what ways your insurance company can help out, or perhaps some type of state aid to help care for your baby. What about the father of your baby? Is he in the picture at all? Is he helping to support you and the baby? If not, I would look into taking legal action against him, because he is responsible, too.

Hi T.,

What a rough time for you. I'm so sorry to hear that you have so much to deal with right now. My only thought for you is: since you're living with your parents, could they be trained to take care of your son's medical needs? I guess more importantly, would they be willing to care for him while you work? I would imagine it would be tremendously difficult to leave him right now, but perhaps you could start with some part time work (maybe even some part time work that would allow you to do some of it at home on your own time) and see how it goes. Ultimately, I'd imagine you'd want full time so that you have secure medical benefits for you and your son. Good luck with everything.

T., just remember that you should proceed one day at a time. If your parents will allow you to remain unemployed, then don't focus on working. Your baby needs your more. You will instintively know when you are ready to work. Don't think about not working-just live in the moment, day to day, with your baby. That is the best gift you can give as a mom.

T. Parker, Certified Holistic Health Counselor
My Food Therapy
www.myfoodtherapy.com

questions...are your parents to old to train them on how to do it...or can you get a nurse to come and take care of him...