Why Is It Not Possible to Stay "Hot" After Having a Baby?

Were they like you before having kids or were they more casual already? I have always been a sweats and t-shirt kind of gal. Oh, how I loved wearing my PJ bottoms to class in college (the good ole days). Anyway, I have stayed exactly the same as I always was after having my kids.

Now, if you are going to be a stay at home or even just on the weekends when you are at home, you might choose to get a new look that is lower maintenance (still HOT but easier) just because you'll have so many other things you'd like to spend that time on instead of getting ready in the morning and it is harder to do with little ones underfoot. That doesn't mean you have to go to sweats and sneakers.

FYI: My husband often tells me that I am hotter than I've ever been when he sees me playing with the kids in my sweat pants and t-shirt and hair in a pony tail.

Good luck!
K.

Why would child birth change who you are? Yes some stay at home moms do give up on appearance because no body really sees them and it is tooo convenient. If you dress up even for a day home when no one will see you, why would you change?

It is possible! It will depends on you. Maybe it will takes more time. Maybe you will skip something. But I will never believe that you will stay in pyjamas all day long or go out without hair style. For me it was important from the first day when my son was born that he should see a beautiful mom.

P.S. Do you really think that is easy and quicker to style short hair? :-)

First of all, BLAH.....it is NOT impossible.

It is time management. I am sorry someone is planting this in your head. YES YOU CAN be "hot" after baby.

It will be an adjustment in the beginning but it is also a mind set. Some people take it as the opportunity to give up and stop caring for themselves because of a new baby. Just because you have a baby does not mean you lose identity.

I am one that always showers, looks nice, no matter what I am doing for the day. It makes ME feel better, a matter of self respect, and I've always managed to look "hot" when hubby came home. He appreciates it as well.

We are going on 22 married years, 25 together and I still make sure I am polished and look "hot" everyday. I take care of my body, maintain a size 2 and look much younger than I really am. I don't wear the heels as much due to some foot and knee issues but I manage to pull off some cute shoes with my ensemble of clothing and enjoy being a "hot" mom.

My 15 yr old daughter has even mentioned to me at school functions (now high school) how some of the moms look like they don't care about themselves (ex:unwashed hair) and she said "I would be mortified if you showed up at school looking like that".

Your children also pick up on how you care for yourself.

You don't worry about people telling you it is over.....it is only over if YOU choose that option.

Well, I'm not sure about that. Honestly I used to be super super thin, but now I have many clothes that just dont fit anymore, but that doesnt mean I'm in sweats and what not, I always put on my makeup, and beautify (jajaja). I think that maybe you'll be a little bit on the blue side after you have your baby because of all the hormones, but that's when you need to feel pretty the most.
It isn't that hard really. Although I suggest you get yourself a couple of sneakers and flats (pretty ones) more because of comfort than anything else, I use them around at home, but I don't leave home without my heels.
Remember, eat healthy, and excercise!!! Good Luck and Congrats on your baby!!

Oh my gosh I am fifty two years old and I don't think I've skipped the lipstick or the eyes in about 30 years. I am suffering currently from getting older, had uterine cancer so my body has fought me a little and I gained a little weight after a hysterectomy (hormones, metabolism, etc.) but you go girl. Keep strutting your stuff. If you feel beautiful (sadly the heels had to go ouch now-but I still wear them sometimes to look hot) and I recommend exercising regularly even if it is walking, walking walking with a good stroller (might have to get some cute gym shoes for those). I wanted to look beautiful for my husband and that is what I set out to do on a daily basis. Ok, it turned out it was mostly for me, because it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You want to remain beautiful. I had a great aunt who died at almost the age of a hundred a couple of years ago. She kept lipstick by her front door. Really. My mother is 78 and she is hot, actually she is lucky to be tall and thin anyway without fighting it and all the kids (my age
TEEHEE, we are not kids anymore) but the ones from the old neighborhood have seen her picture on Facebook and said she looks great.
So if you feel beautiful you are going to have a great day and to me that is worth trying for all the time. And please, I do recall people thinking we are all supposed to cut their hair. Mine is still down mine back (kissed by the sun however from a box). I am comfortable with it and people tell me to cut it. Not ready for that. Because my husband thinks I am beautiful and that is a wonderful feeling. It might be a little harder at first as you adjust because you are on babytime so don't fret. A shower and a touchup will keep you happy. I just know it.

Your friends are very mistaken. Now, I do own a pair of sweats, designer cute ones with a matching hoodie.. :) Anyway, I have had at least one if not two small children in tow for the past 12 years and have always done a full face of makeup and hair. I wear heals everyday...now if i didn't work would i wear them every day..maybe not, but I'd have some cute sandels or flipflops... :) I still wear designer jeans..some have paint on them but thats ok. I do may hair every day..sometimes better than others...i still go to the salon every two weeks for my mani pedi, I still get my hair done, that remains colored, layered and requires attention...My tennis are for the gym, which i do 5 days a week...and yes, even my tennis are hot...black airmax with a pink nike swoosh...super cute.

So, will you want to go to the park in stilettos? I doubt it, but that doesn't mean you can't be hot and comfortable...I love my heals, but I need to be prepared for anything with three kids...accidents, strangers, peepee emergencies ..lol... etc. Since i do wear heals every day for work, I put them in the car and wear flipflops until I drop my younest off...its hard to carry a baby in heals... :) Being a Mom doesn't mean you have to abandon being a girly girl...you just might do it different. A supportive bf or spouse is really helpful, you'll need an extra hour in the mornings, and if you have a girl some play make up to for her to put on with you helps as well.

Don't listen to your friends, show em whats up...you absolutly can be a hot Mommy...shoot, I am! HAHA

Honestly, it sounds like they are jealous of how nice you look on an everyday basis. I admit I let myself go during my first pregnancy and after my baby was born. Then I joined a moms group and one of our speakers was a Mary Kay lady. She talked about how important self esteem is for new moms, and how it can improve your mood when you look your best. After that I started making a real effort to look decent every day, whether I left the house or not. I put on at least a little makeup, did something to my hair (instead of just a ponytail), and put on real clothes instead of pajamas. My husband noticed the difference right away, I was more confident and I had a better attitude. I've had several friends comment on how "together" I look, it's a great thing to hear. So don't give up! This is obviously an important thing for you, so stick to it. Maybe you will inspire your mom friends to follow your example and look their best too!

You will find the right balance for you. You may not feel like bothering the first few weeks after the baby is born (exhaustion and hormones) but after a few months you well start to feel more like yourself. You can look put together and adjust your look to be a bit more practical. I have never favored heels myself but you can choose nice looking lower heels or flats for running around and save the high heels for times you out without the baby. Keep in mind you will need to have some shoes that are comfortable enough to carry a baby (up to 20 or 25 lbs before they can walk) even up and down stairs or across a large parking lot. Then when the baby is a toddler you will be chasing him or her--a lot. If you have a long routine with hair and makeup you want to find ways to make it shorter.

I know plenty of Moms who sill do the whole "shebang" even after baby. Heck I know moms who got their makeup back on before they took the first pictures in the hospital and I regularly see women chasing after toddlers in high heels.
You do what you feel comfortable with... me, I never wore make up or high heels before baby and don't see the need to now.
My guess is that women who stop doing something that they used to do before having a child, just never felt is was so important to them in the first place...
Good luck!

Not every mom cuts their hair short and starts wearing sweats after they've had a child. You may have to pare down your beauty routine a little bit or rush through the makeup application and blow drying process a little bit more but, if you've always been a girly-girl then you will most likely remind so after you become a mother. You'll find a way to make it work. Not all moms become frumpy -- I see a lot of hot moms out there.

It's called exhaustion (LOL)! Basically, for a while, the only thing you'll care about is sleep. Once you start feeling relatively normal, you'll get your "style" back. You'll adapt it to your new routine, cause you're not in the 'no kid responsibility' zone, but if it's important to you, you'll find a level of stylish that works for you. Take care, rest as much as you can :)

Oh Brother. They need to back off. I do not know why moms take such pleasure in freaking out new moms.
You will always be yourself.

When I was pregnant I was a buyer for a large high end store. Every day was a makeup hair and heels day. While pregnant I continued till I my feet could not take the super high heels especially at market. One day I looked down at the shoes I had slipped off and realized they looked like little OVALS! I went home and could not put my feet in any of my shoes! After our daughter was born my shoe size had gone up half a size and so instead of mourning the loss of all of those amazing shoes, I donated them and started purchasing new shoes! Any excuse to shoe shop. I still purchased heels, but I did not wear them everywhere, just to work and special events. I always kept a pair of flats in the car case I was schlepping stuff . I did not want to slip with the baby or our child in my arms.

What happens is that different things become more important than yourself.
In the beginning you may be so exhausted a shower will be celebrated. Or could be the moment you have a moment during the day, you will put your face on and do your hair. Also since you will be trying to catch sleep throughout the day in the beginning, your make up and hair will not always last through the day.

Many of my friends could not continue to keep their "Natural Blonde" hair, because they could not or did not have the time or no longer wanted to spend their time away from their infants to go to the hair salon as often or for as long like they did before children (BC)..

But after you get the hang of motherhood, you will find you can keep your girly girl ways.. You will figure out how to make time for what is most important to you.

Enjoy your pregnancy, enjoy your last few weeks as a childless couple, but get ready to experience the most amazing love you have ever felt for your new family!

Sleeeepppp! Eat out! Go out!
Soon it will be a while til you will want or be able to do all of that since your baby will be here!

It's totally possible!! I feel very put-together. Once the babies (twins) were born, it took awhile to get back to "normal" with my makeup and hair, but it can be done. You have to adjust, and in the beginning you might not spend as much time. You're going to be tired, and recovering, so instead of spending extra time of hair and makeup, you may choose to sleep. But, things get easier, and when they do is when you have extra time for your appearance again.

I do have to say, I giggled at the heels part. I'm not sure how far along you are, but I'm guessing you will be trading in those heels soon! I wear heels fairly often, but the more additional weight you carry, the harder to wear and less comfortable heels become. Plus, most women have some kind of swelling in their lower extremities, so heels might not even fit anymore! I had to wear flip-flops for the last three months of my pregnancy because of all the swelling.

I was always that way too, had all heels, cute little mid-drift clothing, tight jeans, impeccable cleavage and self tanner, lol!

You arent gonna have to give it all up, alot of this will gradually mature into a more polished mom look. Try shlepping a toddler on your hip (that has the density of a tiny bear cub holding a bowling ball), while you are wearing heels across a parking lot. Or wearing the latest fashions with the price of diapers crashing down on you. Dont get me wrong, i still sport heels and makeup, but only heels some of the time, and a lot less makeup than usual.

The change just happens, and you dont even realize it

Oh it is so possible. I am just like you and after having two kids I still wear heels, skinny jeans (lost baby weight both times no problem and wear a size 0 or 2 depending on the pants) jewelry, makeup and do my long hair everyday. It is possible to be a hot mom. For me I would always start the day by getting a shower first thing in the morning either before my baby woke up or right after I was done nursing her because then she was content to sit in the swing or bouncy chair. Then while I was doing my hair and makeup I would put my baby on a playmate in the bathroom so she was right with me or wait until she was taking her morning nap like around 9 to finish getting ready. Now my girls are 3 1/2 and 18 months so I just let them play and watch cartoons while I get ready and for the most part they leave me alone in the mornings. For me it was never really hard to stay looking nice after my babies. So don't let people make you feel like you won't be hot after a baby. You can and you will! :)

I'm not a girly-girl myself and have never been the type to make sure I am very "put together" at all times. That being said, I know plenty of moms who are. I think it has a lot to do with your personality. If it's important to you, you'll continue to do certain things regardless of being a parent or not. Once the baby is here, you'll set your own priorities for your dress and make-up and figure out what is right for you. Being a mom does not mean letting yourself go.

Wow, you need to come out to Gilbert! It's hot mom central out here! (Not me, I'm a Gilbert anomaly. ha!) If it's a priority to you now, that probably won't change after the baby. But here's another perspective... once you have this baby and it changes your life, you might not put such a priority on outward appearances or worry so much how others perceive you. It is the best when your child is old enough to tell you how pretty you are - when you're not wearing any makeup and still in your jammies. So get dolled up and girly when you feel like it, but enjoy those times of just being "real" with your children, also. Good luck and congrats!

If you want to, then you can and will. Nowdays, unfortunately women have become a bit slobby and they like to blame it on the fact that they are mothers. You don't sound at all slobby, so I'm sure you will still be "hot"! :) Don't give in to peer pressure!! :)

Let me start by saying that I am also a first time mother and that, while I'm not as much of a "girly girl" as you, I do still care about my appearance and like looking my best out in public. My daughter is nine months old, and I am about six months pregnant with number two! I too never (or extremely rarely) leave the house without makeup on and although I did recently chop of my hair, it was more of a "I want to try something different" decision than a "I don't have time" decision. For me, the key factor in being able to keep up my appearance is a loving and caring husband who is willing to pitch in and help get my daughter ready. There have been times however, when he was unable, for various reasons, to help me out and in those situations, timing and preparation were key. An example, if it normally takes you an hour and a half to get ready to leave the house, then plan on adding at least an extra hour to your time. Your going to have to feed the baby, change a diaper, get the baby dressed, and pack up your diaper bag. Prepare what you and the baby are going to wear the night before (you can also do your diaper bag the night before!). And whenever possible, do what you can to get yourself ready while your little one naps!!

It is possible to stay fashionable and be a mommy!!! Yes it takes a little more effort, but as with most things-the best take time! And believe me, it's worth it when you feel good about yourself and your little one!

I think you have a great valid question, not ingnorant at all! Most women/moms want to feel and look their best. As a mom of 4, I've always wanted to look as good as I can because I feel good about it, but there have been and still are many many many too many days to count, that I look like I havn't changed in about 3 days and did I brush my teeth today?? LOL. So your friends and are telling you how it is in their life, and in most lives of most moms. As a mom of a newborn, you will be tired. Very tired. For days, even weeks. You might have postpartum depression or just the blues where getting dressed seems like a struggle, or all you want to do is watch your baby every minute, and your days will be filled with nursing/feeding, changing diapers, holding baby, putting baby to sleep, you sleeping, making meals, trying to keep up the house, working outside the home if you do...the list goes on and on. It seems like a complete drag and sometimes it will seem like a drag, but it's all worth it because your heart will be consumed by your baby and as a mom you will do whatever it takes to care for and love your baby. So...with all this going on will you abandon make up and start wearing sweats and putting your hair in ponytail everyday? That's up to you. I think it comes down to a couple of things. First....make sure you have a STRONG village. Which means continue to nurture your relationship with your signifcant other. Enlist his help (he will want to help, but you have to ask....this goes on forever:) Call your family and friends. Nurture yourself. Be gentle with yourself. If you need to nap an extra hour or take a bath, or a walk, or just meditate for 15 min. whatever; nurturing your soul is what will help you feel better with or without makeup. Being gentle with yourself (and others) really means understanding yourself, forgiving yourself, knowing that you are doing the best you can in every moment with what you have and know. Postpartum is a journey just as your labor and birth are. You really have no idea how you are going to feel once your baby is here. What are your beliefs about wearing makeup and getting dressed nicely everyday? (It's not bad that you do...I'm pretty girly girl myself, but have come to a point in my life where my beliefs have changed about it - but that's me) How do YOU really feel - your inner truth- about what you look like to yourself and to others? How do you feel when you aren't wearing makeup and you actually have to put on a pair of sneakers and sweats just to get out the door? It's important to explore this now, because it's obviously important to you...and in postpartum reality, you just aren't going to have the time for yourself anymore. Postpartum may or may not be difficult for you...either way it will be a transition, and if you won't want to complicate it further by not feeling good because there is no time for makeup and heels. I'm not saying new mommies just have to surrender to the haggard mom look....what I am saying is explore your beliefs about what it means to look good. AND...it's more important to FEEL good about yourself because of WHO you are and your purpose. Do what you need to do to nurture yourself (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) in the ways that are true for YOU, while at the same time not setting your expectations so high that it doesn't match the reality of your life in this moment. (remember this phrase - expectations minus reality equals frustration). What are you willing to let go of/give up to become a mother? Take your postpartum journey moment by moment, doing the best you can, embracing your life, your baby, your relationships, and investing in a really cute pair of comfy shoes, a cute comfy alternative to sweats outfit, a 3 minute makeup routine, a cute hat for those days when you just have to get out the door. Oh...always bring extra wipes with you, because you will get baby spit up on your cute outfit:)

Best wishes in your labor and birth and motherhood.

A.
mom of 4, Birth and Parenting Mentor
www.birthingfromwithin.com

Don't worry sister...you can still be HOT! Some people are just silly...I agree with the others, if it's important to you, you will find a way...you'll see!

Yvette -
Congratulations on the upcoming arrival! If your appearance has been a priority for you, that will not change. What will change is the amount of time you have to spend on it. Sometimes even getting a shower seems to be a challenge. Simplify your routines as much as you can to reduce the amount of time it takes to get put together in the way that makes you happy, and no, it isn't impossible. Your friends will be jealous when you show them how it CAN be done. Good luck.

I try to make a point to get up and get ready and "cute" every morning, but it's definitely more of a struggle to balance everything because I have so many other good things that are important to me which you may run into as well. There are so many things that "should" be done (exercise, healthy dinner, clean house, teaching/playing with the kids, organizing, journal-writing, baby books, read/learn, husband time, personal time, and the list of "important things" goes on). Sometimes I have to choose between things and not do everything that's important to me all the time. We just can't do it all, but if that's a priority to you, you'll find a way. I am practical, though, and I do wear tennis shoes or comfortable "mom sandals" often around the house, and then switch to cuter shoes before I go anywhere or before my husband comes home. I have to get up earlier than the kids to try to get some of the important stuff done, but sometimes sleep is more needed and beneficial on that day. You'll just have to find a routine that works for you. I recommend checking out www.flylady.com to help you figure things out. I was in sweats for the first 6 months of having a baby and it wasn't working for me, so I had to figure something else out, and flylady really helped me with routines for myself and my home to keep everything together.

I don't look like a hag but I don't make as much effort on my appearance as you do. I have one friend however who comes close (She doesn't go in for heels unless the event is actually formal). After observing her, I'd say this is how she does it:
1) She's an insomniac, so she spends time in the night preparing her outfit for the next day and ironing everything.
2) She's more comfortable letting her baby cry than some mom's while she gets herself ready puts on make-up etc, blowdries and curls hair.
3) She doesn't go out very often and keeps her social schedule to a minimum, because she often fits the "beauty stuff" into the baby's nap-time, which isn't always predictable or easy to do.

I think you will be able to "stay hot," just not as easily and certainly not in the first month after the baby is born. It is WAAAAY more important to get some sleep. Now if you decide you won't breastfeed but will feed with formula AND you have a naturally good sleeper/bigger baby you may be able to pull it off earlier. However, in my humble opinion, the reason you become a mom is not to look fashionable 24/7, but to take on the work of raising a beautiful little person into a wonderful adult. I don't see any reason why you can't and shouldn't try to look your best when you can...I just think you might need to lower your expectations of yourself for a while. It's very easy to become a bit depressed post-partum and if your happiness rests so heavily on your appearance you might be in for some trouble. Have modest expectations and then exceed them, I say.

Well, I can say it *is* possible to stay hot after having a child. In fact, I think I got hotter after having a baby myself. :) However, it is true that there will be days you are not going to feel like getting dolled up, and that is totally okay! Once you have a baby, your priorities need to change, and if you try to act like a Hollywood star and put your heels and makeup over the well-being of your child, well, that is wrong.

Balance is key and that means finding opportunities to get dressed up a bit (even if it's just buying groceries sometimes) and knowing that it's also okay to wear your sweats and relax a bit. Maybe that is scary to you, but I personally look forward to that after a long day at work - I love coming home to my child, and putting on pajamas and just being casual like. I also love girls' nights out, wearing a sexy dress (just for me, as I'm a single mom, and am not looking to date anytime soon...) and occasionally splurging on some good quality skin creme and makeup... but having a new baby, there will be times when you don't even want to get dressed up - that is the magic of having a baby. Have fun!!

It is not impossible to be a hot mom! I am a mother of two beautiful girls - my oldest is two and my youngest is four months. I leave the house every day with four inch heels, size two pants, hair blow dryed and a full face of make up. I also take pride in my appearance and refused to let myself go after having babies. Sure there is less time to get ready and sure my body is certainly not what it used to be, but I still figure out a way to squeeze working out and looking good into my busy schedule. If it means getting up 30 minutes earlier, then that's what I do.
Luckily I have babies that have slept through the night from a very early age so that helps. It might be a different story if I wasn't getting any sleep - definitely at the beginning when the girls were first born, I barely had time for a shower let alone anything else. But once they get a bit older and you all get into a routine, there is plenty of time to be a hot mom! I think it's important not to let yourself go - it sets a good example for your kiddos. My kids ALWAYS come first, but it's still important that I have some "me" time as well.