When to Start the Potty Training Process??

Updated on July 18, 2009
T.S. asks from Salem, OR
14 answers

I am just wondering when is "normal" to start the potty training process? I know there is no "normal" being that every child is different, but just want some general guidelines. My daughter is 18 months old and I have started saying "Mommy has to potty" and she see's me go to the bathroom. Just recently (in the past week or so) when I say "Mommy has to potty" she goes running to the bathroom and points at the toilet. So atleast she is starting to recognize the words =) She also says "stinky" after she goes poo, and points to her butt & sometimes even goes to her room to be changed. When do we take the next step? Is it to early to start now? Does anybody have any good ideas on books for me and my husband to read to learn the process ourselves, before teaching her. We are obviously new at this!! lol. And what about books for us to read to her? Thank you so much in advance for all your wonderful advice!!

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K.P.

answers from Anchorage on

i haven't gone through it yet with my 2.5 yr old, he's just not ready...but we have this video he loves, it's called "All aboard the potty train" it teaches them the sign language for the words associated with potty, even the sign for washing hands. we really like it and hope one of these days he's ready to complete the whole process! :-)
good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Seattle on

It always depends on the child, some are ready early and some are not. The main thing is Are you ready? I had both of my kids potty trained by the time they were 15 months old. As soon as they could walk, understand, and let me know when they had to go. I made a game out of it and we would race to the potty and because we felt so much better when we were all done and washed our hands, we would have a little something or do some little thing that they thought was fun or special. Of course I stayed home for about a week until we got it down pretty good. It's always harder if you give up or get them almost trained and then YOU give up because your too busy or something. That's why I asked if YOU were ready. LOL

1 mom found this helpful
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T.C.

answers from Portland on

Dear T.,
I am a first time parent so my girls aren't quite at your little girl's age. But I have started doing what you're doing which I am told is a great thing to do. I can recognize when they are going poop now. So whenever they start making pooping noises like grunting when they push it out, I imitate the sound and say poop while making the sign language for poop. They are 1 year old right now and I've been doing baby sign language since they were 7 months old. But the next step hasn't happened for me yet. But I heard from a couple of women that their kids were potty trained by 18 months. So it is possible, I guess if it were me in your position I would get a potty training video that's age appropriate for your daughter. I heard that that is a great way to inspire your child to go potty in the toilet. Also make sure you get a potty training toilet for your daughter. Have fun with it! Make a chart with your daughter's favorite stickers and keep it on the wall near the bathroom. Tell her she gets a sticker for every time she goes potty in her little toilet. My cousin did that and she said her daughter would sometimes pretend like she had to go potty. Which I wouldn't worry about that. That's a small price to pay for a chance to get your child to get excited about going potty. I hope this helps.

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B.H.

answers from Seattle on

I think whenever they show signs there ready and your not pushing.
My 19 months old, recently starting patting the front of his pants and running to bathroom, and watns to sit on potty. He goes sometimes others not, but he is doing it at his pace. He also tells me when his diaper is caka and goes to bathroom.
Just follow her cues, she will potty train when shes ready!

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

Sounds like she's ready to have a potty at home! We got one for my daughter at 15 months and just let her explore it at her own pace. She used it for the first time about 4 months after we got it. We've never insisted that she use or that she sit on it for any length of time. Sometimes she sits on it naked, sometimes not. At home, I regularly ask her if she wants to play or go pee-pee with mommy. Sometimes she chooses one, sometimes the other.

I haven't read much about the process myself, but I feel like it's been fairly easy to just follow her cues and ask her to take one more step in the process. Once we started having a good idea of if she was going, we would ask her if she was going. Then we started asking if she needed to go. Next we'll start suggesting that she go etc. but aren't in a rush since we're due with another any day and have been told not to push training with a newborn. :)

The potty book we got for our daughter is by JoAnna Cole and I think it's called "my potty book" or something simple like that. It never talks about how old a kid should be which I like. It also talks about how accidents happen but doesn't imply that it's bad. I really like it and got it at Borders Books I think.

J.S.

answers from Seattle on

T. - I come from a family where 18-24 months is just what we do. And I'm glad I had that in mind, because I've come more and more in contact with families who have swallowed the whole "allow your child to lead you" sham and then get stuck with a 4 year old who can't participate in Parks & Rec programs or preschool because they're still in diapers!!

If your daughter is showing signs of readiness (knowing where you put your pee, telling you when she's got a dirty diaper,etc.) then it's a great time to start. I'm training my third daughter right now, and she just turned 17 months old. Each daughter has been different, but we just try to be consistent and work with each personality.

The main thing is that you are ready to get into this. You have to be patient, clean up a lot of puddles, and stay consistent. If you start now and then give up your daughter will be in for a long haul.

I would recommend getting some of the thicker training pants or pull up style cloth diapers. Your daughter can tell you when she has to go, and you can work on noticing her signs, too. Also, just make it a practice to go sit on the potty every 30 minutes or hour. When she goes in the potty, jump around clapping and cheering for her so she makes the connection that this is a great thing to do. Once she understands the process and it's a pleasant thing rewarded with high fives or hugs, you will be well on your way to having a diaper-free baby!! Blessings!

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A.W.

answers from Seattle on

I think that it is never too early to start, but let your child take the lead. Get a few inexpensive floor potties, show her what they are for, let her play with them, sit on them, etc. I started doing the things you are doing with my daughter from an early age, but it wasn't until she was about 27 months before we had real progress. And it was all her idea. About 2 I started buying panties to get her excited and every day I asked if she wanted to wear diapers or panties. I thought for sure she would ask for panties, but she constantly asked for diapers until one day and that was the end of diapers.
Good luck. Any way you can do it is great, you already are in the right mind frame. Just don't get stressed out by it...it is a long process.

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K.F.

answers from Portland on

We started at around 18 mos, because my daughter liked to sit on the potty, wipe, then flush. She still is not potty trained, primarily because although she likes the process, there is not enough warning to get there in time. As a therapist, I have always been trained that as long as you can keep any "shaming" action out of the process, then it is ok to proceed, so that's what we do. Good luck in deciding when is the right time for you guys.

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S.R.

answers from Seattle on

I would get a potty seat and she might decide to try it on her own when shes ready. Her picking it out might help her know it is hers. I had one in the bathroom then some cheaper ones (i've seen them at dollar stores) in rooms my daughter played in most, convenience was a big factor in potty training. My daughter was very into Elmo when she was potty training, we had an Elmo potty book, an Elmo doll with his own potty and at Sesamestreet.org there is a Elmo potty time game. Hope this helps you.

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C.P.

answers from Seattle on

I started the process with by daughter at about that same age. Using a slow and gradual approach, we were able to avoid power struggles and just keep it very positive. I really liked the book 'Diaper Free Before 3' ... was a useful guide for me.

So, we introduced the potty chair at 18 months. Had 'underwear day' when I thought she was ready to forgo diapers during the day (just after her 2nd birthday), and didn't pursue night training until she almost always woke up dry (and was out of the crib so she could get to the potty if needed) - around 2 1/2 years old. Like I said, slow and gradual - but it was pretty painless and worked well for us!

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

People will give you lots of books of ideas and books. But I have just on simple suggestion, you can not make a toddler do these three things: eat, sleep, or go poop and pee. (sigh) Wait (as hard as it is) for her to want to go.

My son was not "potty trained" until his pre-prekindergarten teacher said to me in ear shot of him that she did not change diapers. 48 hours later he was "trained".

My daughter "trained" herself on a trip to Victoria-Vancouver ferry, boat, train, bus.

It was brutal. She refused to use the toilets on the transit, but had to go all the time. She refused the diapers. She would sit down to eat, but then had to go to the bathroom, but would not go.

Every child is different.

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M.F.

answers from Seattle on

I think this is a great time to start the potty training process. Your daughter is showing you that she is ready to start when she shows interest in the process. I would definately get a potty chair for her and I haven't read any books specifically on the subject, but I'm sure there are quite a few out there. My son is 5 now and he has been fully potty trained since he was 2 1/2 and we started the process when he was 12-18 months when he began showing interest. We probably went by a more child led process...I didn't compress the teaching into a small amount of time...but it sounds like it has worked for others. Anytime that my son would go on the potty, we would give him a small jelly bean...that worked well for us too...and he actually had to go potty to get it..not just sit on it. Stickers are a good reward too. My daughter is 20 months old and has just started the process in the last few months. I think it can be a time consuming process, but obviously and worthwhile one! Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

My boys are 3 and 5, and have been potty trained for a very long time, yet they still love the book "everyone poops".

As for when to start, I think you are doing great. When she is ready to go on the potty she will let you know. my son trained at 18 months, my other son was 2 1/2. Just let her lead the way and remember, she won't go off to college in diapers!

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E.C.

answers from Portland on

I agree with the other comment. I trained my oldest by 21 months, and my second is working on it this week at 18 months. It makes for a focused week or two, so you need to block out some time. I try to have my things together so I dont have to go anywhere, and we can just put on the panties and get it done.

I have read a lot of books and websites, but none stand out as superior. I think it is just dedicating time to interact with your child and communicating with him/her in a positive way until they happily understand and begin to perform (for lack of a better word).

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