Everyone
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts, encouragement, and words of wisdom. I was so overwhelmed by the support and kind words.
I really wanted to get other people opinion, it would have been so easy to call my sister-in-law and just have a talk about how mil drives us both crazy.
My husband did call his mother, and stress to her that IF it was that important that she be here for the birth of Matthew than she was more than welcomed (she's pretty much told the whole town that I'm keeping her away from the birth of her grandchild) we just thought that she may enjoy more time alone with her grandkids after my family was gone, and with my dad coming in from Iraq he really couldn't adjust his schedule (and my mil fly's free whenever because of my husbands job--a very nice perk for her). she told my wonderful husband that we already ruined it for her and on and on, I grabbed the phone before he told her NOT TO COME...
I then talked with her the next day, and after thirty minutes of listening to how bad the snow was, her friends were unappreciative of her, and how bad she felt, tired and her knee hurting her. I told her that Jerad and I talked about it and with my parents here for 5 days and then her that we thought a week would be great for her to stay. We wanted her to enjoy the kids and just visit and with her knee we didn't want her to over due it and also with her business (Curves-a whole other drama) we didn't want to ask her to be away to long. After I was done she said someone came in the store and she had to go. I really thought it went well, I stayed positive and appreciative.
WELL........
When I get out of the shower last night my eleven year old is in tears, she answered the phone because she knew it was her Nana.
Nana told her that she didn't feel welcomed, we hurt her and that we were not being very Christ like with our family, that mommy was having issues........
My husband is out of town so I tried to talk to him calmly as possible, trying not to have this baby till Monday.
We've decided that we are still going to allow her to come, but we will sit down with her and tell her she has to get help for her depression or she won't come again.We love her but she crossed a line that is unacceptable.
So EVERYONE-Thank you and have a great weekend.
Hi,
A very simple answer I used when I was pregnant and people were trying to push their way into seeing the birth was this, "You were not present when the child was created so you do not need to be present when it is born, there will be many yeas for you to enjoy it after it is born but the birth is a private time for my husband and me."
Lisa
How "Christ-like" is it to dump and vent to an eleven y/o to put her in tears???? Shame and prayers for this MIL! You, your husband, and your children don't need this stress- it's bad for all involved. I personally would not care what she said about me, I will protect my family, but I would tell her she IS NOT WELCOME until she can keep her "fretts" to herself and get it together. Reality can really change some people's behavior! If she feels you really mean it, and she really wants to be there, she will stop and straighten up into the Christian woman she believes herself to be! Sorry - this really gets my goat!
WOW, you have more patience with her then i do with my mil, i would have talked to her before my hubby and told her where to put it and since she decided to put my kids in the middle of something that they had nothing to do with i wouldnt be sure when she could come back over if ever if she didnt get some help asap. My mil and i have had many conversations like that at the beginning, but now i think she has figured out when to say something and when to keep her mouth shut!!
Just tell your daughter it was a misunderstanding and she should be old enough to understand it. Anyway, good Luck and keep holding on, you are doing an excellent job WAY TO GO!! ;)
I could not agree with you more. You did the right thing and what you plan on doing is the right thing. Good luck on Monday and congrats. God bless you
Bless your hearts. I am so disappointed that she chose to upset a child about all this. How very very sad. DANGIT
Listen, you all are doing everything right. You concentrate on you MAMA. My husband is gone two for two weeks. If you need anything and don't have anyone, I promise you I would help if I could. I'm sure you don't need it.... but I wanted to put it out there.
I hope your MIL gets some help and I hope your little girl is OK!
Hugs,
E.
You did the right thing!! She should have never placed that on an innocent 11 year old. WOW.
Hey T.--I am so sad to hear that happened to your little girl! Or maybe mad! As Dr. Phil always says--don't make kids deal with adult issues! I am glad you are hanging on to the baby! Keep relaxing! Good Luck and update us on the birth!!! :)
Wow. Congratulations for dealing with this so well! If it had been me, I would have just told her where to stick it and not come to visit, at all! Your poor little girl.
Good luck and hang on until Monday!
Doesn't your MIL get that you are the pregnant one and she should be expected to be walking on eggshells around YOUR feelings? Oh, obviously not.
Seriously, she needs to get some kind of help. It is going beyond just making your life difficult, but affecting your children. Fortunately, at 11, your daughter is old enough to understand that Nana said that because she misunderstood you and is mad at you right now -- but that you are all working to try to make it better.
And you need to quit worrying yourself about her feelings now, because you are about to have another beautiful baby!!!! Congratulations!
You have pretty much reached Sainthood in my book! WOW! Congrats on being civil and handling so well!
She obviously is not a "well" woman. NO BODY should put children in the middle like she did! That was a horrible thing to say to your child. I really hope you and your hubby sit her down and go over some guidelines and about her depression!
Hope you and the baby have a SAFE, HAPPY and HEALTHY time at the hospital and when you get home!!
