What Would You Do About Low Attendance for Your Child's Birthday Party?

Updated on April 08, 2012
A.H. asks from Omaha, NE
26 answers

My daughter will be turning 3 and we have planned to have a painting party for her next Saturday. We invited 7 friends, but for one reason or another only 1 out of the 7 can attend. My daughter's feelings are not hurt by this. We aren't offended with our friends. It just turned out that we picked an incredibly busy weekend for friends. So.Should I leave it as is or send another email and just see if another weekend would work better for people or is that tacky? I also do not want to offend the 1 person coming either!
Thanks!

A.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

At 3 years old it won't matter.
Just have it.
Many parents I know, when a child is that young, they only invite like 1 or 2 friends. For an outing. And its fine.

Don't resend invitations for another date.
No.

5 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Have the party! It's just one of those things that happens. But a party with one guest can sometimes be more fun than a party with twenty. Hope the painting will be fun for them!

2 moms found this helpful

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Honestly, you, your daughter AND the one guest will probably have more fun with it being just the 2 girls and not 8. You will get to actually spend time with your daughter on her birthday, rather than running around like Crazy Woman trying to throw the perfect party. You might actually get to talk to the little girl who is coming, too. And get to know her some (if you don't already). You can actually cater to your daughter's every whim (without having to worry about some other kid needing something to drink, or having spilled his drink, or asking for a different kind of drink). You can really treat her like her day is special and it's all about her. Because it WILL be.

I know everyone means well, but really, most of the time there is a big party, it becomes "all about" the guests, not the birthday child. At least from the parents' perspective. Enjoy this!

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L.K.

answers from Lafayette on

I would have it. The same thing happened when my son turned 2! we ended up inviting one friend to chuckie cheeses and he had such a fun happy time. that one friend made his day that young its all fun... even one friend~~ I would have it and treasure the friend that can come and spoil them both~

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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think at 3 she probably doesn't care so just look at it as a blessing - less to do!! We have had big parties and small and no party at all and my kids were always just happy to have cake and balloons and I don't think they ever cared who was there!

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

Have the party. With one friend, you can go all out.

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

I would still have it. It will be an awesome party for a 3 yr old and special attendee.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with the others - at 3 she doesn't care. In fact, at three, too many guests would be overwhelming for her. she's still figuring out what this birthday thing is.

Go ahead with your one guest and have a great time!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

keep it as is. let them have fun and be done. at that age the rule of thumb for a successful party is 1 guest for each year of the childs age. a 1 on 1 party will insure more time for the birthday girl to have some fun. she is a little young for a friends only party anyway that is usually more a 4 or 5 and up thing before that its mostly just family. if you really want more people can you invite some family members or neighbors?

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I always check with our friends before scheduling parties. It isn't tacky, it's realistic.

With that said, I'd go ahead with your plans at this point.

1 mom found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

3 years standing I invited so many people to my daughters parties, and it always fell in busy weekends. So for 3 years we would have only a small number of people. I was always disappointed. My daughter didnt care, she was happy if she just got a balloon and some cake. This year for her 5th. EVERYONE came, including people that were not invited. We were so out of our skulls. There were 8 kids, there families, some of their families family. Friends, co-workers, Family. IT WAS chaos. Fun, but holy hannah. Then the amount of gifts were astronomical. Since we decided to celebrate our 5 year olds and 3 year olds together. I had to ask some family to bring it all to the house. UGH never again. For my sanity. Its getting split up and toned down like before LOL... even the girls were a bit overwhelmed.

Think its best to just have the party for the 1, and maybe in another week you can have a park get together for the others. Or just forget it, have fun with the one, and have a blast with your daughter and her guest.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Another vote for "just have the party!" A couple of years ago my daughter was the "one guest" who could go to a friend's party. She and her friend had a wonderful time. They still talk about that party. You'll be relaxed with only one guest, and can actually have a good time yourself!

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

Keep it as it is and you could invite others(neighbors, church, relatives) to get more kids.

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

No - the one person who accepted is top dog. Since your child will not know the difference, and since very small parties are best for little kids, go with what you have! Rescheduling not only hurts the one who accepted, it puts more pressure on those who declined. If you had scheduled against a major school event or holiday, that would be another story. But stick with the plan and I'll bet your child will have a wonderful time. BTW we always did the "year plus 1" rule - invite the # of kids for your child's birthday year, and add your child as the extra "1" - so a 3 year old would only invite 3 friends. It's a great system.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Your daughter is only turning 3. I think sometimes for little kids, a rule of thumb is one kid per year.

With just one child attending, you can really think of something special for them to do that you couldn't do with 8 kids.
Your daughter will have a great time.

Best wishes.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would widen my group of friends and invite some other kids. I always plan our parties around some of our friends schedules as to when they are available. If they can't come it just isn't a party. Once we have that date and time set the most important people are there and the others are just icing on the cake....lol.

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T.W.

answers from Syracuse on

I'd go ahead with the plans, at 3 years old a party with 1 friend will be nice!

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

if it were me i would just leave it. your daughter is young and doesnt really need a big party.
my daughter just turned 5 and we invited about 30 kids and only 10 came and we had to change locations due to rain. i thought she would be upset that no more then 2 of her school friends came but she wasnt. she was just soo happy that some of her friends came she didnt even care.
your daughter will have fun with the family and friend that is there ;)

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L.L.

answers from Rochester on

I would keep it as planned...just turning three has no idea of a "party" per se and will be just as happy with her one friend...perhaps moreso, because she will have that child's devoted attention vs. 8 children all playing with one another.

And if it makes you feel better, my daughter just turned seven, we only INVITED one child (her neighbor and best friend), and she got sick the day of her party and couldn't come. Of course, family (gma, gpa, uncle, mom, dad, sis, and two adults from church she's fond of) were still here...but no children. She still had a good time!

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

Don't worry about it, keep it at 1 friend and have a great time! Your daughter will be thrilled to have her friend there and be the center of attention, no matter if it's 4 people or 20 people!

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J.A.

answers from San Francisco on

The party will go way smoother with only one other 3 year old, so I wouldn't worry. I wouldn't change it, but next year I would check with the closest of her friends before making an official date.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

We email beforehand and find a weekend that everyone can make it before sending out real invites. Even then sometimes a few kids are sick or just don't show. We now do parties with just 2-3 friends and arrange it not on the actual birthday but just when everyone can make it. My kids did not like the huge parties at play places since their friends did not really seem to be there for them and then after 1.5 - 2 hours they all go home. So for us small parties actually work better.

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V.M.

answers from Cleveland on

definately stick with your plans and have a great time wihtthe one that can come.

If you play it this way your kid will have fun and you won't be making a huge deal that people will remember you having to scramble around to rearrange the party. It makes you seem less desparate if you just follow through with the original. and shrug it off.

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J.R.

answers from Miami on

Hi A.,
I will add another perspective.
Is your 3 year old in a daycare situation or pre-school? If so, I would try to have the party when most of the children she hangs out with can attend.

Also, my son is 3 1/2...if the same thing happened to me, i mite ask him if he prefers to have his party next week with one friend and family, or wait until another week end soon after when more friends can attend. It is her party so why not let her be a part of the decision making process?

Happy birthday and congrats to the mom as well.
Jilly

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M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

Is there another weekend that would work for everyone? I personally feel even little kids like it if there are more people at the party .Yes she might not realize it and feel bad about it. But the more attention she gets on her birthday, the more fun. And also you will be happier too to host a party for more than 1 friend. Just 1 friend seems like a playdate to M. than a b'day party. You can talk the parents again and see if there is any other weekend that would work. If not, then sure go ahead with just one friend, and thankfully your daughter atleast will have one friend for her party.
Or other option would be to invite few other friends who can make it on that day.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

This time of year is tough - lots of communions, graduations, etc.

You can't please everyone so just have your party - make it fun have a cake and enjoy! At three, one playmate is great fun!

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