What Would You Do? - Brunswick,GA

Updated on June 05, 2011
B.E. asks from Brunswick, GA
20 answers

The other night I was in Walmart and kept running into a couple with their toddler. As is common in the south, he had nothing on but a diaper. Being a mama, I could not help but notice he had a dirty diaper. I guess because I have 2 littles ones in diapers I am always on the look out. lol Anyway, I did not say anything, but it made me kinda sad for the baby because I was shopping for about an hour, and every time I passed by this couple they still had not changed his diaper. Part of me wanted to say something, like, "oh I have some extra diapers and wipes if you need them", but I could not imagine that would have been well received. I know there have been times when I have missed a needed diaper change and I always felt like such a jerk. Not trying to be judgmental at all, because I know we all miss things sometimes, but if it were that obvious to me, how could it not have been obvious to them? Would there have been any way to approach this without coming across as a nosey, obnoxious stranger? lol I ended up saying nothing and just hoping the parents would notice sooner rather than later. So it got me wondering...how would you have handled this situation?

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So What Happened?

Yeah, I agree there really wasn't a way for me to say anything...and probably wouldn't have been appropriate anyway...or appreciated. ;) I was just curious if there were any mamas out there more bold than I am who would've said, "Hey you! Change your kid's diaper!" lol When I see a baby in public in nothing but a diaper it always seems kind of tacky to me. I know I should not judge, but to be completely honest the first thing that pops into my head is, "You really couldn't take 2 seconds and throw on a onesie? How lazy."...but...this is Georgia...and shopping in your pjs while your babies are in naught but a diaper is considered normal. And while I have missed a diaper change on occassion, it hasn't gone unnoticed for an hour or longer. Thats just a little ridiculous imho. I don't understand how parents can go out and "forget" their diaper bag. Seriously? You have a baby/toddler - taking a well stocked diaper bag where ever you go is a given...for me at least. I do have friends who chronically "forget". I don't understand it.

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

I probably would of talk to the kid. "Hey aren't you adorable!" And as I got closer, I would of done the sniff sniff and said "Oh, I think he may have gone to the bathroom"

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I wouldn't have said anything.
There are SO many places where people ignore their poopy kids (Disney World, amusement parks, etc).
I feel sorry for the kid, but they won't listen if you say anything and I don't appreciate it when people tell me how to raise my child.
When my son was in diapers I knew where every changing station was in every store for miles around (or I'd change him in the car) and I always had a well stocked diaper bag with me.

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M.H.

answers from Lansing on

I wouldn't have said a thing. I am the kind of mother that changes my little one every hour whether they "look" like they need it or not. However, I fully acknowledge that not every parent is as anal retentive as me. I don't believe walking around in a dirty diaper is life threatening and therefore it doesn't fall under my interference radar.

4 moms found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

I like Victoria T's answer... I would have walked down the same aisle, said something like 'aww you're a cutie!', then turned to the parents and said what you were thinking 'uh-oh, diaper duty! I've got a spare if you need it'... I can't stand poor kids running around like that :(

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K.:.

answers from Phoenix on

I'm sure they knew. They just didn't care.

3 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Washington DC on

Not cool to tell anyone how to do anything these days, in person that is. You could have asked her if she's ever heard of Mamapedia, gave her the link and told her to look you up. Then you could have posted your question and ......well, we all know the rest of that story :)

Honestly, if I see a kid in a dirty diaper I dont think anything about it except for how neglectful it can appear... and THAT IS WHY you dress your babies when you take them out!

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Southern babies go around in only a diaper??? wow.

I wouldn't have said anything.

2 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Oh my. I'm in GA too... not far actually. I've probably run into you in Target or Walmart! LOL
I agree that you do see kids in naught but a diaper, but I always find it inappropriate. I never took my kids out that way. Heck, call me a prude, but I rarely let my kids run around like that at HOME. Even sick with RSV, my son wore a Tshirt with his diaper--in MAY. At a park or the pool or your backyard, fine. But out shopping? Yeah...it only takes a minute and it doesn't make them THAT hot. Imagine how hot that carseat is going to feel on his bare skin when they get back out to the parking lot to strap him in... Those buckles get HOT.

I cannot think of a thing you could have/should have said that they wouldn't have been able to find offense in. And that is the key to it. People can find offense in anything if they are LOOKING to be offended. I can think of plenty of things TO say, but I wouldn't have.... Folks you don't know, don't usually take "advice" from strangers about their kids very well. They just don't. If it was a couple, and they were in Walmart, and they had left their diaper bag elsewhere, one could have gone to retrieve it. Sad to say, but they probably just didn't want to bother. :(

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A.W.

answers from Chicago on

See I'm the opposite of the other posters. I would have said something along the lines of hey he looks like he could use a new diaper- I have some and wipes if you need it. If they get upset oh well. It irritates the hell out of me to see people not paying attention to their children- like when they let them run all over or walk out into parking lots unattended or leave them in dirty diapers for an hour. I'm a big mouth. It makes my husband nuts but that's how I am. But to me- it takes a village. If it was me slacking I'd want someone to look out for my kid and tell me to get on my job (not in a b*tchy way but as a parent to another parent). My feelings aren't the most important- my kid and her needs are.
Yeah, and I hate when people take their kid out in a diaper only. I say- would you go out in your underwear only? Kid deserves to have the same dignity.

1 mom found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

It's one of the main reason I always used a cart cover. I'm not judging it's just not what I would do. I wouldn't have said anything bc it wouldn't have made a bit of difference. If their standards are already that low, chances are anything said wouldn't have been received well.

1 mom found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Houston on

i don't think thats really an indicator of the south so much as it is wal-mart. I'm from the south and i never see that unless i go to walmart.

it definitely wasn't your place to say anything, but i would have been taken a little aback too.

1 mom found this helpful

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Well I would have said something no matter what they thought. Most diaper rashes come from the pooh and not the pee.

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

Was the little guy happy? Some kids just don't care (I had three of my four not care at all if they had a dirty diaper). I say let it be, I probably would have freaked out more that he was in just a diaper. LOL Needless to say, just because it bothers you, it doesn't mean it bothers that kid or the parents. You did the right thing to just stay out of it.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

you said there have been times when you missed a needed diaper change. Maybe this was just one of those times for that couple. I would not have said anything. Maybe they left home and forgot the diaper bag.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I would have handed them a diaper and said, "Just in case you need a diaper, I happen to have one." And leave it at that.

Seriously? It's normal to shop in your pj's in Georgia? Wow.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

SAME way you did... feel bad, but realize that there were about 6 different possible causes from sinus infections or allergies meaning no sense of smell, to using a WIC card and needing to get everything on the list at once (if you're on WIC and don't get it all in one go, you lose everything else on the list)... and say nothing.

L.M.

answers from New York on

I have 3 kids (one just a newborn) and there have been times when out shopping with my 2 girls when one of them went in their diaper and I did not always change the diaper right away but would quickly finish shopping and then go change the diaper in my car. Just because it was easier (my girls are 14 months apart so going to change one could be quite a saga). I agree with some of the other posters - so gross to take a baby out shopping in just a diaper! I would feel SO weird doing that! The only experience I had like that was when my daughter was 1 year old and she vomited while food shopping, all over herself. I cleaned her face, removed her puked on clothes and we paid for the groceries in our cart and left. A store employee helped me get it all done, and out to the car, so I could just hold my daughter. So that time she was stuck wearing only a diaper. But here in NY that would be very odd to see!

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I probably would've said something so that it didn't become a big mess and get all over the cart, if it hadn't already.

M.

M..

answers from Ocala on

I would have said something.
That was wrong of them.

K.L.

answers from Redding on

Im curious,, how did you know it was a dirty diaper? Or did you mean wet? I wondered, because there are times when a toddler has a really loaded diaper and you cant tell until you lay em down and open it up and are shocked how much poo there is,,or, sometimes you smell it from across the room, or sometimes its oozing out the leg or up the back. I just wasnt sure how you could tell. Im picturing you seeing it with your own eyes, and thats why you cant believe the parents never noticed, but I wasnt so sure. I dont know what I would have done if I just smelled it, or thought the diaper looked really full, but if I had seen it working its way up the back, Im certain, because I have before, said, "oh gosh,, weve got a bit of an overflow back here",, and made it sound like it must have just happend and they just hadnt noticed yet. The M. gasped and cringed and said thanks, and took him off for a change. I also keep kleenex in my purse and have handed one to a stranger who isnt looking at their kid and theres a big slimy nose. I have no problem saying,, "woops, looks like he could use a little wipe" and thats usually enough to sound casual, friendly and understanding enough to not offend them.

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