What Do You Find the Most Challenging Being a Mom?

Don't know if this is along the lines you are thinking, but here goes.

The most challenging thing to me, as a mom, is the knowledge that the older my kids get, the more they have to make their own decisions, and the less input I will have. I remember when my brother and I were teenagers, and all the choices he made (started smoking and drinking, skipping class, etc), and all the other things teens do these days, and by then I can't just put my foot down and say no way.
How I deal with it is by building a good relationship with my kids now, and teaching them early what my expectations are. I take as many chances as possible to hug and cuddle with my kids and tell them how much I love them and how proud I am of the things they do. And when they make poor choices, I talk about why it was a bad thing, why it's so important for them to learn to make good choices, and how they can make a better choice next time.
They are 7, 10, and 12, but only time will tell about how will this is working!

It's mostly whining. I can't stand excessive whining because she dropped the toy or she doesn't want to eat chicken. I have become a ton more patient since she's become more independent, mostly by reading parent books and knowing most kids do it lol. Plus I've learned tired ques. But OMG What gets under my skin is when she starts whining-crying and I ask her what is wrong and she hands me her sippy and says I want more milk please. *sigh* I'm like you need to just ask me instead of whining.
I agree with Carrie. I'm a laid back person in regards to most things so it takes a lot of whining to even get me irritated unless I'm just grumpy. I hide it very well nowadays though after taking a breather and knowing I shouldn't yell.

Gosh Ladybug, I'm in self denial lol. Way to bring up the truest hardest part of parenting haha.

The most challenging thing about being a mom is letting go.
You start early -- letting go of them when they learn to walk.
Then you spend the next 18 years letting go -- letting them learn lessons that you know are going to hurt. Letting them figure out some things on their own -- often they don't come to the same conclusions you do or to the same results you'd like. Then they graduate from high school and you let them go - to their next adventure be it college, the military, or work...
You always hope they make the right choices and do the right things -- and they do. They make the choices that are right for them...
Letting go - that's the hardest part of being a parent...
LBC

My biggest challenge is patience. I HATE having to ask twice, or nag or complain to have things done... and unfortunately 2 year olds tend to take a lot of "encouragement" to do things. My daughter tests my patience a lot... but a huge part of being a good mom is being able to hold my temper and bit my tongue. My daughter is SO SMART and so grown up that I often have to remind myself that despite how she acts MOST of the time, deep down, she is still just a toddler and I really can only expect so much of her.

I remind myself often that she is actually an extraordinary wonderful little girl. Her "good times" outweigh her bad ones, 10 to 1 and my family is really the greatest treasure in my life. When I focus on the positive, wonderful things I have been blessed with, I find coming by the serenity to withstand a 10 minute tantrum... or not explode when I discover lipstick hieroglyphs on the back of the couch- a little easier.

-M.

The most challenging thing for me is having such an age gap between my oldest (just turned 14) and my youngest (18 mos). There are six kids in all, but it's hard sometimes, because the oldest wants to do things sometimes that I just don't have the time, energy or ability to do, what with the 18 month old and 4 year old still needing such constant care.

Then there's the issue of the younger ones wanting to do things that the older ones are doing, but they just don't have the physical or mental ability to do them and that usually results in a mini-meltdown. Sometimes, it's just hard that way.

I've come up with lots of creative ways to solve these problems. When I put the 18 month old and 4 y/o (and sometimes still the 7 y/o) down for naps, the older ones do things that would make the younger ones upset not to be part of.

DH often takes the older two (14 and almost 12) boys to do something "big". He takes 9 y/o DD out on daddy-daughter date nights.

Which is the other thing; hubby and I both make sure we spend alone time with each child at least once a month. JUST THEM and one of us. It's done a LOT to curb the "sibling rivalry" that everyone told me would happen.

I am a pretty laid back person to begin with so I found it pretty easy to be a mom most of the time. I found it a little trying at first when the kids started whining and back talking. I had to do some deep soul searching and find out the best solution for both of us. I think a lot of people want to control kids all the time instead of listening to how the children are feeling. It's important to find a happy medium and MOST of the time things work out. There are always those times when life throws curves. I find it most challenging when my 20 year old daughter calls me from two states away crying and I can't hug her or take care of things. I can just give her support and ideas with encouragement. This is a learning experience for both of us because she is my first and people thing when children are 18 and gone things become easy!! Just a different kind of trying situation.

I think the most challenging part of being a mom is realizing your purpose as mom is to teach your children to be independent, self-sufficient, productive members of society. To do that, we must begin with the end in mind...what do we want our high school graduate to be like and work it backwards to the day they come home from the hospital. Then, every day, we work towards that goal of an independent, self-sufficient, productive 18 year old.

The second hardest thing, I think, is knowing that we need a break. If we don't take the time to feed our own souls, how can we expect to give our best to our families? That said, I gently recommend that you find a trustworthy babysitter (start with your husband) and regularly schedule time for yourself. My "free" time has been everything from sleeping in, to grocery shopping without children, to lunch out with a girlfriend, to weekends away, to even a week away (generally work related). I, of course, do the same thing for my husband.

Last but not least, I think it's hard to remember that there is life after children. If we, as moms, lose sight of that, we fail to nurture our marriages and they fall apart. Again, that nurturing changes with the ages of your children. When our sons were babies/toddlers, one night a week, my husband and I put the kids to bed early (usually Saturday night) and had a quiet dinner for two and special time afterwards. Now that our kids are teens, we're comfortable leaving them home alone for several hours as we take off to have lunch or dinner, shop or just go for a drive. I truly, truly believe that the best gift we can give our children is the example of a healthy, happy marriage. This doesn't just happen; we must work at it.

I think my sister, a step-mom, put it best. Parenthood is a marathon, not a sprint. Keep your eyes on the prize and don't rush things.

Good luck!

my patience____doesnt really exist

the whining. it's like as soon as it starts, i turn into Linda Blair on the Exorcist. I can't stand it! I send them to their rooms as soon as they start. They can come out when they stop. I need to learn patience. I used to have all the patience in the world, but I worked in daycare,and seemed to use it all up for those other kids when I was younger :)

I COMPLETELY agree with Ladybug......

My daughter (only child) , 16 yrs old is a well adjusted, great kid.

The most challenging for me is knowing when to let go and to let go gracefully....and let her bloom. Letting go does start early on and it gets harder as they grow up so quickly. You know you have to do it and trust that you did a great job.

The hardest thing so far was teaching her to drive, watching her get her DL, and giving her the keys to her car and watch her drive away. OUCH. I still worry until she gets home safely.

Our family has a tight relationship and I am very thankful for our good health, stability, and unconditional love. Believe me, it is not always a bed of roses!! There have been days when her hormones were raging and I wanted to walk out... I think that happens to all of us and then there are the days when she just texts from school or somewhere with her classic "ILY" meaning I love you.

I am very proud of my daughter!!

Lack of sleep was the hardest for me. Even though my kids mostly sleep through the night occassionally they will wake me up for a drink or because they can't sleep. I try to be compassionate but I'm just not the friendliest person when I have to get up at 5:30 a.m. for work :P

Constantly worrying about them, since before they were born. When I was pregnant, I worried about having a healthy pregnancy and "doing all the right things" so that my baby was healthy. When my first one was born, I worried about doing everything right because I was a new mom. When I was pregnant with my second, I worried that my daughter would feel neglected with the new baby, and that they wouldn't get along. Now that they're older I worry about things like "are they playing too many video games" or "am I teaching them good habits?" I know as they get older I'll worry about them being teenagers; and even when they are adults I'll have a whole other set of things to worry about.

I just have to calm myself down and know that as long as I'm doing my best as a mom, they will be fine. And, of course, it really helps to be able to ask all of you moms on this website for help and advice. :-)

- Getting up in the morning. :) ! I'm not a morning person... I prefer to be awake all night and sleep from 9am-2pm. I need sooooo much less sleep when I sleep in the daytime! Haven't been able to do that in almost 9 years (I occasionally get a week off, and get to revert to "natural", but during the 350-60 days a year I have him it's the heroic effort to be awake in the morning, each morning, every morning. Shudder. I LOVE dawns, I just like them to be the signal that it's getting on towards bedtime. THE WORST is having to wake up an hour or two BEFORE dawn. Ugh.

- Being scared of him dying or damaging his brain from o2 starvation or other complications (we're in the hospital right now, starting week 3 tomorrow). The fear just gets shoved in a handy little box so we can be goofy, and it's GREAT out with the other parents in the ViceBox (we really do have it easy compared to most, here) because I can disconnect my mind from my mouth (yeah, yeah some would argue there's never a connection). It's just so hard being absolutely helpless.

- Knowing when to back off

Making the right decisions on the spot.

Helping my son be compassionate in a very un-compassionate world.

Putting together a level 5 Transformer! hee hee

First of all, you sound like a good mama. So, deep breath :)
For me, it is doing the same things over and over and over again that gets to me. Sigh. How many times can one person hand mop under a kitchen table in their lifetime??? I try to offer it up as a prayer and that seems to help me. The other thing is juggling the busy schedule/driving now that my kids are older. Not my favorite!

I have a 3 month old so my challenges are different than yours. I breastfeed my daughter so for me, not ever having a break to get time to myself. I *love* my daughter, as I'm sure everyone feels about their kids. but I am an older mother and this is my first baby. That loss of alone time has been a tough adjustment.

Yes, I know I could pump and my husband can give her a bottle so I can goto the movies or get a pedicure. But I can only be gone for 2 to 3 hours before i have to come home and feed her/pump again. You can only be gone for an extended amount of time as long as you can pump while you are out and I rarely have an opportunity to find enough privacy to pump.

Also, not having any family around to help. We still aren't comfortable hiring a sitter while she's so little so family nearby would be helpful. They all live in different states.

That has been tough for me.