Want to Enjoy Spending Time Outside

When I want my little girl to stay close by when doing an outside chore I make her help me. She has helped me with every single part of gardening, washing the cars, sweeping/organizing the garage, shoveling snow etc.....same as in the house...and she has done so since she could walk...she's the master of the whisk broom and folding washcloths ;)

and if either of my kids EVER (and they both have once) ran out of the yard and away from me when I was trying to get them they would get a swat on the tush....they NEED to know the seriousness of that issue

When he runs off, take him back in the house for about 10 minutes, explain to him that you are coming inside because he ran off, try again in 10 minutes, if he runs off, come back in the house, explain again, etc, etc, etc. Eventually, he will get the idea that if he runs off, that he can't go outside.

Hi C., We are going through the same thing!! We are building a fence. Not nessearily a permanant one but one the will be up until our kids our older. We have a dog also and after last fall decided if we were really going to be able to relax in our yard we would need to build a fence. So that is the plan. Hopefully next weekend it will happen. Also, we have a sandbox, and a play house. They love to play there but three year olds just love to run...and run and run. Good luck.

Set up a visible barrier, like cones on your driveway. Explain to him that he cannot go past them and if he does that he will have to go back inside and sit in a timeout spot. Enforce it EVERYTIME. It may take 10 times for him to get it, but he will. Three is plenty old to understand that.
Praise him when he stays in the yard for any length of time (at first). Good luck!

We don't have a fence around our whole yard, but we have a little picket fence around the side that encompasses the ground-floor deck, patio, climber, and sand box. It's big enough to set up the pool in the summer, or for a little game of tag with both boys. We affectionately call it the "kiddie kennel" but really the idea came because we also wanted to have a space where the dog could be off-leash with the family, and critters couldn't get into the space (we live near a lot of wildlife).

In the front, we started small. Park your car/van across the diveway opening to block it from the street. Then give him ride-ons and sidewalk chalk and keep him limited to the driveway. As he gets more reliable, you can extend the boundaries.

C., well, you and the child can work together, buy him a little broom, or have him move this or that, keep him busy, or buy a fence, and when you are done working then time for you to rest and watch him play? work together, and play together, its ok, kids love to work, when not overdone, meanwhile you can sing songs with him, while you work, or play a game, or call cleaning the garage a game, hey want to come play a game with mommy, mommy does this, and you see how many empty cans you can pick up , and if you can pick up ten things mommy will give you your prize, or something to that effect, any way have fun with it too, but involve the child in the activity, of course say ok you can go play but first you need to do this... ok now you can play if you stay in the yard, if not, then you can come help mommy some more, either works, have a good day, D. s

Giving him his own things to do or play with are only going to help for a little while. You need to address the issue at hand - he is not listening to you and not being safe by running down the street. My son did this when he was two. I told him "No going into the road or we will have to go inside." He tested it out two times before realizing I was serious. It was hard making him come in because it was so nice out, but it was better than him getting lost or run over. At three years your son still needs constant supervision, but you should be able to look away for a moment or two and not have to worry about him taking off. Good luck!

C.,

I have a 4yr old boy and 10yr old girl. In the front yard my son has a bike to ride, trucks to play with outside, chalk to color on driveway, scooter to ride, ball and glove, power wheels and he can usually keep himself busy long enough for us to get something done. Otherwise our kids play in the backyard on their swingset and with the rest of their toys.
Don't get me wrong, he does get bored sometimes and will walk around to the backyard with out us knowing, but never leaves the yard.....

When my daughter was 3 I started outside time and had to really stick to my guns. She was allowed in the backyard but if she crossed the sidewalk she had to come in immediately. The sidewalk was our boundary line. The next summer I gave her a bit more of a distance and so on every summer til last summer when she was 5.5 she was allowed to go down a few doors alone alwyas checking in periodically and me sticking my head out the window to check.

Just make sure you set up a punishment if he dis-obeys you becuase I know alot of my neighbors have had little ones escape our neighborhood and end up walking next to Hwy13 in Burnsville and go 1 mile down to our nearest park. If my 6.5 year old leave our townhouse complex or goes in the street she is in huge trouble and can't go outside for awhile

I agree with everyone who said that you need to set some limits and consequences for him so he knows he can't just run off to the park. I also think he is at an age where he needs constant supervision and you might have to wait a little while before you can get your projects done while he plays outside. They are so quick at that age and it's pretty typical for a boy that age to get distracted or sprint away. If you can afford it and have the space getting your own swing set/playground/sand box would make a big difference. It did for me and our two boys. I had a 4 year old who wanted to play on the neighbor's playset EVERY DAY and since it was basically adjacent to our yard it was impossible to keep him away. We got our own and he played happily in our yard. Even one of those portable plastic climbers and a nice big sandbox would help if money and space are limited. Good luck.

I can totally relate. I have two sprinters of my own and a very busy street out front, and not enough nerves or energy to deal with the awful possibilities. Not sure if money is an issue for you, but we put in a wooden privacy fence in the backyard. It made all the difference in the world. We also invested in a small screened gazebo (for me) and backyard play equipment (swinget, see-saw, climbers etc). Fencing and all of the rest of it can add up. But you can do it yourself economically as far as fencing goes with stores like Menards and HOme Depot.

Looks like you've got lots of good suggestions for setting the ground rules and I totally agree with those. An idea for a great activity for a boy that age that will keep him in place is a BIG sandbox (ours is 6' x 6') with lots of trucks, etc. We have a 3 year old who will spend most of the day out there when the weather cooperates. We set it up in a place where I can watch it while I clean up the yard or garage, etc. Any other neighbor boys who happen to be out come running over when they see him out...which is also great!

I don't have any good ideas for this one, but I have the same problem with my 2 year old. I've put every toy I could find in the driveway, like sidewalk chalk, basketball hoop, and yet he too wants to head to the park. If you find something that works please let me know. ____@____.com :) If I figure anything out, I'll let you know. So far all I'm doing is going to get him and bring him back...over and over again.
Take Care

A firm "no" and a swat on the behind will cure that.

SAHM of seven

My oldest used to do the same thing, take off as soon as I would come to get him. As soon as he did that or if he went into the street he would immediately go inside. When it was time to try again, I would tell him the number one rule was no going in the street and the number two rule was he had to listen to me. It took a few times of carrying him in the house kicking and screaming before he got it. Now at 4 he doesn't venture anywhere near the street without permission.
Another thing to try is to get your son some sidewalk chalk, bubble bucket, and other small toys that will keep him occupied. If you want to sweep and he is at all inclinced to help a small broom just his size is the way to go.
Just keep trying and it shouldn't take long for him to adjust.

What I did with my children was to start by teaching them a game we called "stop-go." While holding his/her hand, I'd say GO! and we would walk/run and when I said STOP! we'd stop abruptly and I'd be silly and say "WHOA! That was good stopping!" and make a big deal about it. We'd play this every time we went for a walk until I was sure they understood the concept.

Then I'd allow them to walk next to me and we'd play until they could play the game as well walking beside me.

After that, I'd explain that I will let them run a little ahead if they want to, but if they don't listen, they will have to come back and hold my hand. We'd play again, and that rule would apply without an exception, EVER. We would also practice in the back yard while I sat and they played in the yard.

Yes, there would be tears sometimes with this step, but it was worth it for their safety. Plus, as long as they listened, they were allowed a little more freedom so there was more incentive than just a punishment for not listening.

It takes some time to do all this, but now both my four- and two-year-old are very reliable at responding to the commands STOP and GO. Of course, my two-year-old still needs to be reminded and has to hold my hand when she disobeys, but she JUST turned two, so I don't expect perfection from her yet.

Maybe your son would enjoy learning this way?

Best of luck to you, whatever you decide!

~A.~

Sounds like he is trying to get attention from you. My four year old used to do this, but we do have a fenced in yard too. He always figured out how to get out. Pull the wagon over to the fence gate so he could reach the latch, ect. I have to put down the garden hoe and play baseball with him or he'll find trouble. My daughter on the other hand, stays here even if someone forgot to shut the gate. She never lets me leave her sight though. Good luck!

Hi C.
I think there needs to be BIG punishment if he leaves the yard without you. like can not play out side for _ days and a Big reward if he stays in the yard and listens like for _ days. take him to the park and to get an ice cream or something really special to him. Good luck this is not an easy time as a parent. :) T.

You have to find something that he likes to do, or make him think in some way that he is helping you! He'll stay put then!

I am sorry you don't have a fenced in yard. I would just say to give him lots of toys to entertain himself while you are out there with him. Give him guidelines on how far he can go. Tell him firmly that this is as far as he may go. When he starts taking off to the park, go after him and firmly tell him that is not allowed and make him sit for 3 min. on a chair near the house. When his time is up, Kneel down eye level and tell him you may Not go past whatever you use as a guideline. Let him go play again but Do Be consistent with him every single time he does this. I hope he gets the hint soon for you. I know exactly what your going thru. This age is hard, but if he knows you mean business he will begin to listen to your words. Good Luck and Happy Summer. C.

Make the rule no leaving the yard and show him the boundaries. Start a sticker chart and reward him a sticker each time he plays in the yard without running away. When he reaches 5 stickers or so put a :) or star on his chart and tell him he gets rewarded with going to the park. That way he will eventually still get to go to the park once a week or so, but it will be special because he earned it. ;)

You need to disclipline him when this happens. Before you go outside, make the rules clear that there will be no running to the park, and if he does take off, then you go inside for a time out, and no park for the rest of the day.

Read: Raising Your Spirited Child. This book is great for parents of kids who are smart and independent. It helps to create communication tools and to understand them better. Truly, once you understand him better you will not have this kind of problem. In the mean time:

Before you leave the house to spend time in your yard, tell him that you will not be going to the park. Tell him that if he runs down the street toward the park today and you have not said it's time to go to the park, tomorrow he will not be able to go at all. Today, all the chasing stops.

Spirited children are stubborn and respond well to limits. He may have to miss a day outside to get this concept, be he is certainly smart and will understand direct consequences at this age. You will definitely have to do this every day for a while, so get ready to discuss this every time you want to spend time in your yard.

Taking the time to lay the ground rules for each day will help with a 3 year old boy. Spanking, yelling, time-outs don't work with spirited children.