Twins Hit Each Other -- Help!

Updated on June 29, 2009
E.L. asks from Mountain View, CA
6 answers

My boys are now 2-years-old and recently they started to get into fights with each other. Or more frequently one twin hits the other and the first twin cries. It seems that one of the boys is more dominant than the other, although in the past they exchanged this role. It's getting more and more difficult b/c I can't leave them alone for a second, and I can't give them any hard toys. I do not know how to communicate this to the twin who hits. I explain, hold his hands, slapped him on his hand a couple of times (which feels awful and I do not want to do this), nothing completely works. He seems to understand at times and then, of course, he forgets. It is both dangerous and concerning, and I do not want my other son to feel like a victim. If you have experience with this kind of behavior please advice!

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answers from Richland on


My twins went through the same things so we had to do a couple of things. The first is that we got a book called "1.2.3 Magic" and started to use the techniques right away and they worked. The other thing that we did was when they started to be mean to each other we would separate them and let them know that if they were not going to be nice to each other then they were not allowed to be with each other, this is still very effective for us. As they are getting older we put them both on time (as we never really know who hit first or who did the instigating) and they get to come off time out when they tell us 2 nice things(when they are 2 and 3 nice things when they are 3 and so on as they get older) that they can do for each other instead of hitting each other. When they come off time out they have to apologize to each other, the apology looks some thing this, " I'm sorry for hitting you, next time I will keep my hands to myself and use my words, will you forgive me?" then they hug each other.

I hope this helps and good luck with the twins, it gets better when they are about 4.

God Bless,

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answers from Fresno on

You should get down to eye level and put him in a timeout in an area where there is nothing fun to do or watch then leave him for 2-4 minutes. Then get down and look him in the eye and ask do you know why you had a timeout and explain that it is not appropriate behavior and make him apologizr to his brother and give him a hug followed by huig from you.

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answers from Sacramento on

Unfortunately I don't have any advice. Just wanted to chime in that I am having the same problem only it is with my 24 month old son hitting me (doesn't have a twin or siblings). I'm still trying to figure out how to get him to stop permanently but just wanted you to know you're not alone. we're doing time outs or if he hits me while I am holding him I put him down and won't pick him back up for a while. Like you metioned it gets better and then worse again. I think he will grow out of it as his verbal skills improve and as he learns other ways to express his feelings. Good luck!



answers from San Francisco on

Hi E.. Twin boys! What a challenge! Let me start off by saying that you can't reason with a 2 year old. they don't yet have reasoning skills. i think you need something that makes a lasting impression - not just a 30 second talk or a quick slap on the hand. Put him in time out and then when he gets out of time out make him apologize. That may make a more lasting impression but you have to be consistent with it. EVERY time he hits, this is what happens. Consistency is the key!



answers from San Francisco on

We went camping and hiking with our little guy for the first time when he was 4 months. He slept with us and was quite comfortable. We would play in the tent, carry him in a baby bjorn or sling and went all over. We would lay a blanket out and let him look around. Your biggest concearn would be bugs and sun. I saw some clip on things the other day that help with the bugs. A good sun hat and trying to stay in the shade with help with the sun. We love to camp and hike and now our 2 y/o does too.



answers from Sacramento on

We use time out (put our 2 year-old in his crib) for 2 minutes for hitting. It has worked well and he almost never resorts to it unless he is very over-stimulated and tired.

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