Trying to Understand Court Orderss

Updated on August 13, 2009
L.M. asks from Forney, TX
43 answers

what does it mean "Making disparaging remarks regarding petitioner or petitioner's family in the presence or within the hearing of the child"?

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E.O.

answers from Dallas on

It means you shouldn't say any thing negative or call the petitioner names in the presence of the child or the family

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E.P.

answers from Dallas on

A child is part of his father and part of his mother. No child should ever be made to feel that HALF of them is BAD. So one should never talk badly about an ex- when a child can be listening. And don't let friends or family do so either!

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H.D.

answers from Dallas on

Speaking poorly of that person (the other parent or his family) in front of or within earshot of the child.

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E.O.

answers from Amarillo on

Basically stated it means not to trash talk your ex, or his family where your child could even possibly hear. No matter how much you hate the other person, don't bad talk if there is even the slightest chance the child will hear. I know, because I have been there before!

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A.C.

answers from Amarillo on

Means you cannot cut down your ex or his family (say anything bad)in front of your child.

A. C

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

It means that you should not talk about your ex and or his family in a nasty way in front of your child or children. Disparaging means bad, negative, or disapproving type manner. Sorry you are having to go through this.

J.

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

That means do not speak poorly of the other parent in front of the children.

Long are the days when mom and dad go to the back bedroom and fight away from innocent ears. If you can do one thing for your child, it should be hide your feelings for your ex-spouse. No matter how bad a parent they are or what a rotten spouse they were, your children are born to love them. They will look to you for understanding and support and if you are too busy degrading the other, you will miss their need for goodness.

Unfortunately you have no control over the other household. Kids will form their own opinions based on what they hear and see. They don't need a lot of help there. If your ex is speaking poorly of you but you are not of them, your children will see this and respect you more. Boys will even be protective.

I'm sorry your family is not together. It must break your heart. I'm most sorry for your little ones. No one loves them like their own parents.
God bless and take care, C.

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A.P.

answers from Dallas on

It basically means talking badly about the person/person's family in front of the child, or when the child was within hearing distance.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

Don't talk trash about the other parent or the other parent's family around the kids.

Put your grievances against each other aside for the sake of the kids at least in the kid's presence. Don't have arguments over the phone that the kids can hear. Act like the kids are more important than your differences with each other.

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P.R.

answers from Dallas on

It means you are not to say anything negative about the other parent or any member of the other parent's family in the presence, or within hearing distance, of your child. This is so the child is not influenced to "dislike" the other parent.

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K.R.

answers from Dallas on

It sounds like it means talking down about the absent parent and/or their family to your children or within ears reach of your children.

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T.K.

answers from Abilene on

It means you called somebody an ugly name in front of the child, and the child told the somebody.
If this is your Ex...you may have been talking to a girlfriend and called him an a**hole, daughter heard you and told daddy...He is within his rights unfortunatly for you...just need to make sure you don't talk about him with her anywhere near again

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V.S.

answers from Dallas on

It means talking ugly or saying bad things about that person or that person's family in front of the child. It means insinuating bad/mean things about them whether they are true or not. Off handed comments that are insinuating can be considered disparaging as well.

VickiS

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

It means you can't call your ex a loser in front of your child or on the phone if your child is within ear shot.

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

It means to say anything negative about the other party or their family.

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E.S.

answers from Dallas on

Don't say anything bad about your ex or family where kids can hear. But his papers will say something similar, you can't talk bad about him and he can't talk badly about you. All divorces involving children will have this in them, for both sides. That way kids don't have to think 'oh mom/dad says that dad/mom is so bad because....' and have to decide which person to side with. Kids should not be picking sides, they should be loved and cared for regardless of what's happening between parents, but unforunately not all parents do that.

So sorry for your situation, good luck getting it all worked out.

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C.K.

answers from Dallas on

that means one of you (the petitioner is whoever filed the papers) is saying things that aren't nice about the other or the other's family in front of the child where he/she can hear.

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N.S.

answers from Abilene on

It basically means you can say anything bad about the others where the child can hear it. My papers said the same thing. What I used to say to the statement "dad doesn't do it that way, or dad won't let me do that" is that "me and your dad are two different people and we do different things in our homes. that doesn't make him wrong or right, that just means that whichever house you are in, you need to follow the rules of that house"

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

It means that the person belittled, demeaned, or disrespected the petitioner (no doubt the other parent) in front of their child.

For example, if I said to my husband or ex-husband something like: "You're such a loser.." or "You are just a joke. Do you know just how ridiculous you are?" or "You are a bad father and you cheated on me, the mother of your child, you son of a ____."

They know that a child shouldn't have to hear that about the other parent. It doesn't matter if it is true or not. It hurts the child and can make the child feel the pain of it all in many ways. That's why no matter how bad the other parent (or mother-in-law or...) is in the ex-spouses eyes, it isn't good for the child to hear it, see it, or have to wonder about it. (It can also have the reverse effect and turn the child against the person who is 'bad-mouthing' the other.)

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S.R.

answers from Dallas on

It means talking in a manner that is not positive in front of, to, or in ear shot of your children. So neither parent is allowed to say anything negative about the other parent or their respective family where the children can hear them.

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

It means talking badly about or making ugly, crude, mean remarks about the other person (apparently the petitioner in this case) within earshot of the child.

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

no negative comments about dad or family that the child can hear it.

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G.G.

answers from Dallas on

"Making disparaging remarks" means saying negative or bad things about someone, in front of a child, or so that a child is able to hear.

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

It most likely means, that you shouldn't insult, make fun of, or be rude the ex-spouse or family while the children are in the room or are in hearing distance.

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L.P.

answers from Amarillo on

Basically what the papers are telling you is that when ever the children are in the home, car, or anywhere they may possible over hear your conversation you must refer to their other parent and their family members as of you loved them and they were perfect. If you make any negative remarks at all and the kids hear it and repeat it to anyone in his family you can be held in contempt if they want to file the charges. So if you have custody and he does not send child support and the kids ask for something you can not say tell your father to get it for you he owes me money anyway. If he remarries or gets a live in girlfriend and she lets your 9 year old daughter shave her legs you can not say anything negative about it and if you want to chew him out about it you must make sure the children are no where around.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

It means don't say anything bad about their dad or his family in front of the kids.

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R.M.

answers from Dallas on

Don't say anything negative about the person who filed the order or that person's family.

Sure wish my DH had that put in orders. His ex made plenty of disparaging remarks about him and our family!!! Even went so far as to refer to him by his first name to the children and make them call him that when she was around so that her second dh could be referred to as "Dad". Not fun.

No matter how you feel about the ex, don't bad mouth him in front of the kids. Encourage that relationship with him and the kids. They'll love you for it when they're older.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

It is legal speak for "Don't talk bad or say anything ugly about each other or each others family."

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S.R.

answers from Dallas on

Making negative remarks regarding the other person (husband or wife) or their family with the child or children present or within the child's hearing. Basically don't talk badly about the ex or the ex's family to the child or where they can hear.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L.:

I had the same question when I went through my divorce & my lawyer said simply it means talking badly about the other person. Calling them names, using foul language, etc in front of the other child. That kinda stuff.

He also told me that if the other person found out it was happening he/I could be held in contempt of court for violating the order.

He told me also that it is standard verbiage in a decree.

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J.I.

answers from Dallas on

It means to talk badly about, say ugly things, be mean about the other person. Everyone has to play nice.

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T.S.

answers from Lubbock on

It means to not talk bad or put down, disprespect your child's other parent or their family. Any negative comments, feelings, or anger cannot be expressed in front or around the child.
Our children have enough problems dealing with two families without us adding to the stress. As hard as this is, I had to let my children deal with their dad and make up their own minds in regards to his behavior. Any discussion I had to have with him regarding their care had to be away from them. I did my best not to talk bad about their dad in front of them because I did not want to be blamed if they did not have a good relationship with him.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

The petitioner is the person who has alleged these actions. (ex-husband, ex-boyfriend, etc) It means that you have talked bad about him and his family around the child.

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

This means to make rude or degrading remarks about the other parent or the other parents famliy (girlfriend, other children etc.) around the child or within hearing range of the child.

A tip...if you are talking with your friends or family about the ex...agree to use a different name. Example...if your ex's name is John, use Joe or George instead. That way you can still talk about your ex, but your kids will normally not pick up on it.

K.

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F.C.

answers from Tyler on

It means one can't say negative things, talk bad about or put down each other around the child/children. They don't want one parent influencing or trying to pit the child against the other parent (or other family).

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

I would say it means talking bad about the ex or his family....at least that's the way I interpret it.

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

It means to not say bad or negative things about the x, when the children can hear it.

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T.L.

answers from Dallas on

This same statement was in my divorce papers as well regarding both parties (my daughter is now 21). And in a nutshell (as it has been said several times) you are not allowed to say anything bad, or call anyone names, or say anything that might make your child feel any ill will toward your ex or anyone in the family while your child is in your presence or anywhere where he or she could here you. My daughter found herself in this position when her father and stepmother would talk about me this way. It started to make her feel as though she had to choose between parents. And she began to resent them for saying these things and trying to make her think that she should feel that way too. Now she is grown and she has since told us that it made her feel horrible to hear these things said because no matter what we are to each other, to her, we are all her family and she loves us all. From experience it truly is in your child's (and your) best interest to refrain from bad talking the other parent it will make your future relationship with your child mcuh better in the long run.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

In short, you can't say anything bad, no matter how true, if your child/children will hear it. If you want to blow because you're just to your ears with your ex and his craziness, you need to meet with your friends somewhere and do it there and not at home where your child can hear it.

It's very difficult but with a little vigilance on your part, it's doable.

It's not to say that you're going to sugarcoat and lie in front of your kiddos. You'll find yourself either saying - It's in the past now, sweetheart. - or - It's better not to talk about that right now, dear.

HTH,

M..

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

That the other party was saying bad things about you or the person filing the case in front of the child. For example if I filed for divorce and custody of my kids my ex-husband would be the other person. He would be saying bad things about me or my family infront of the kids or where the kids can hear him.

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K.

answers from Dallas on

It means saying mean, speaking bad about, the person who brought the petition. So if you are in a custody battle, for example, you shouldn't say mean things etc about your ex on the presence of the child.

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

It means that you may not make rude, disparaging, or otherwise negative comments about the petitioner (I assume the petitioner is your child's father) or his family in front of your child. You can't "trash" your child's father in an attempt to undermine their relationship. This protects your child from being "stuck in the middle" during a divorce/custody hearing in which the parents are hateful to each other. The court wants to make sure that the child feels free to love both parents equally(and their extended families) without feeling like he or she is betraying one parent or choosing one over the other. I hope that clarifies things a bit. Good luck.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L.,
I think everyone gave you some really good answers on the phrase you asked about. Was that your only question?

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