Toddler Waking Up!

I have a 2 1/2 year old and when we moved him into a "big boy bed" my husband wanted to shut his door so he couldn't get out (we have a very old house so if a door gets clicked shut they are very hard to open). I thought that was awful until I realized he's been "locked" in his crib for the last 2 years of his life so really what's the difference? We still have a monitor and when he occasionally wakes up we just go in his room to see what he needs. It has actually worked very well. I know it's not what you want to do but thought if you heard it this way it may not seem so bad.

Good Luck with whatever you decide to do.

Hi
I am K. T. I live in Anchorage. My 2 yr old wakes up at 230am also!! LOL!! If you are Anchorage....let me know. My little one is still in her crib.
Good Luck

Ask her why she doesn't want to sleep in her bed or bedroom - you'd be surprised on what she could tell you. Something may scare her - remember their minds are so full of imagination. Is there have been different shows she has been watching lately that could trigger a nightmare or just waking her up in the middle of the night? I would just ask her and see what she has to say.

A., Your mother-in-law's suggestion isn't that bad. I have three year old boy/girl twins and my daughter likes to do this same thing. I just put a child lock on the inside of her door knob so she can't get out. She doesn't cry and it isn't mean or abusive. When she realizes that she can't get out she just gets back in her own bed and goes to sleep. If you don't like getting up a thousand times a night you might try it before you knock it. It better that her running around the house by herself all night. and you know she will be safe. good luck. J.

You could always try a baby gate infront of her door. Its not the same as locking her in, because if she needs you the door can be opened and she can call for you. We did this with our 2nd child and after a while he got the point...that he needed to stay in his room at night. He didn't have to stay in bed, just not come into our room or his sister's room in the middle of the night. Good luck, whatever you choose!
Also I just have to ask...where in AK are you from?? I used to live in the Chugiak/Eagle River area.
~V.

Sleeping alone is part of growing up and developing independence and self esteem. I've known of people who crawled in bed with their parents as teenagers, or even on their honeymoons. That's a problem. Some things that we do with our two-year-old is I say "here's a kiss, now go back to bed". That alone often works; he gets whatever reassurance he's looking for, and is told it's ok to just go back to bed. Sometimes we lock OUR door. I don't wake up when it's locked, so I don't know if he doesn't come at all (by chance; he only comes in occasionally) or if it thwarts him and he just goes back to bed. Our boys (5&2) are quite able to spend the night with friends/cousins/grandparents, because they are independent and secure.

I would say it is safer to "lock" her in her room than to possibly have her wandering around the house and getting hurt. You could just close the door with a door knob cover or put a gate up. My son's door is closed at night and he always stays in his room. If he needs us he knocks on the door and calls for us - which is very rare.

Don't lock her in her room! How traumatic that would be for her (can you imagine?). I agree with A. ET - life is short, love is the most important thing we can give our children - welcome her into your bed and enjoy the nighttime cuddle! (if your bed isn't big enough, consider getting a bigger one, or putting two mattresses together). I'm hoping you can meet other likeminded parents soon - support is so important, as well as other children for your daughter to play with.

You didn't say whether or not she needs to be able to go potty herself during the night. If not, one of our friends put a baby gate in the doorway to keep their little guy in his room. We put a doorknob cover over the inside doorknob on our little girl's door. She tells us if she needs to pee/poo and just knocks on the door (LOL). She's not locked in or anything, it just makes it too hard for her to get out and play (which she was doing a lot the last couple of weeks) and she's always slept with the door closed or it would be too loud. Also, if she does need to go potty alone at night, depending on how your house is laid out, you could put the gate so she really only has access to the bathroom.

I do a agree with one of the other posters... sit down and have nice chat with her on what's going on at night. Maybe she just needs a night-light or she's having scary thoughts/dreams. I know that our little girl really started getting more scared of things (and her imagination took off) a couple months before her 2nd birthday. If that's the case, I know people have used things like "magic wands" or "monster spray" (e.g. a bottle of mom's perfume, water spritzer, etc.) to keep the boogie men, monsters or even dinosaurs away. Another thing is that she might think it's time to play at that time of night. If so, make sure she knows that she is to stay in her room until you come and get her, and possibly try the gate idea.

Good luck! I know we have been having new issues every couple of weeks since getting the "big girl" bed in early May. Most seem to be a phase and work themselves out within a couple of weeks, but you never know. Toddlers sure do keep you on your toes, don't they? :-)

Both my kids (now 7 &5) have gone through various phases of sleeping/waking. This sounds familiar! My opinion is let her sleep with you until she works through this phase. It shouldn't take long relatively speaking until she is back to sleeping through the night. If she is kicking you all night or something, make a compromise like she can "campout" on the ground next to you, or at the foot of the bed, or on a chair in your room.
I have found that spending the close physical time she needs will actually shorten the "clingy" stages. "Fill up her love cup" as author Gary Chapman would say.
Good luck!

My son might be particularly easy, but he is almost two and gets up at ridiculous hours to come in with us. He will not sleep in our bed, only play, so I tell him to go back to his bed. He goes by himself and gets back in bed and my husband and I can go back to sleep. It might not work, but it is worth a try!

I don't know if she is too young to grasp numbers....but you could get a digital clock, and teach her that she may not come out of her room until the time you want. This is what we did, but I think we started that at age 3. So I am not sure about a two year old. GOod luck!

Depends on what you really want.

Do you want her to stay in her room? Or can you get comfortable with her in your bed?

She's been "locked" in her crib for the past 2 years...so "locking" her in her room isn't all that different. The difference is that she's got more space. Never, Never, Never (have i said that enough yet?) NEVER, put a lock/padlock/fliplock or other locking device on the door. It's not only a fire hazard, and cruel (she could see out of the bars of her crib, but this is solitary confinement with a solid door) but is also reason enough for CPS to "temporarily relocate" your daughter.

I'd actually recommend a dog gate suitable for a Great Dane sized dog. The view is the same as out her crib...but she'll be going nowhere fast.

If you can get comfortable with her in your bed for a little while, what we did was actually give our son the "treat" of sometimes starting out in our room. He could fall asleep in our bed, and then we'd move him. We were very up front that we WOULD move him, and made a big deal of his understanding. He could pick to start out in Mum & Dad's bed, but only if it was okay that he spent the rest of the night in his own bed. Eventually he got so used to the idea of staying in his own bed the whole night, that he actually preferred it there. We still "treat" him sometimes though. And of course, nightmares are a free ticket, but he always gets put back. I know later on I'm going to miss these times with all the snuggling, and floppy little arms and legs as I move him...they're gone in a blink.

*** On the subject of not staying in one place at night ***

My nephew wouldn't stay in his bed either. His parents finally convinced him that he couldn't come in their room to sleep when he woke up in the middle of the night. And then at 2 1/2 was found at 6am playing out in the parking lot. He'd drug a chair to the door, flipped the padlock, and climbed down three stories. No one knows how long he'd been there. HEART ATTACK.

Wherever your daughter ends up sleeping, a big sturdy gate in the doorway of that room, is a reeeeeally good idea until she's old enough to be to understand : Not leaving the house, not taking a bath, not 'cooking', not, not, not, etc.

I think I'd try putting her back in her crib until she is ready for the independence that a toddler bed gives (if you still have the crib). I have a nearly 2-year-old with a newborn, as well. We have been planning to get our oldest in a big bed so that the baby can use the crib after the bassinet. I am already pannicked. My oldest loves his crib. We'll see what really happens.

I wonder if your daughter is really actually fully awake when she comes into your room. If she had barriers to getting up and leaving her bed, it may not affect her at all, she might just fall back asleep. On the other hand, if she is purposefully getting out of bed for a control issue, it may help to get her in the crib again and use it as a reward to sleep in her bed. ??? Good luck. I wouldn't lock her in her room... but I would get her back into the crib.

Why are you so resistant to her sleeping with you? You like to be cozy with your husband don't you? Don't you think your daughter likes to be cozy at night too? My boys slept with me until they were two years old and they were old enough to be in their own room together. They are 5 and 7 now and can't wait for my boyfriend to go on camping weekends so they can sleep with me. Life is short, enjoy it and cuddle with your little angel while you can.

I used a baby gate, that way it is not a fire hazard, but my son could not leave his room at night. At first I would find him asleep on the floor by the gate, but soon he figured out he was not getting out and started sleeping in his bed.

You can email me if you like, I live in Eagle River. ____@____.com.

A., I don't have a lot of suggestion other than to say you will probably have to just over and OVER again get up and put her back in her bed lovingly explaining that that is where she sleeps, not in your bed which could take a couple of nights to make that stick. (I will say that I am just taking that from Supernanny because I always coslept and didn't really care if they got in my bed with me until they were five or six :P) The real reason I was writing was to say that I grew up in Alaska and I still have good friends and lots of family up there so if you need some connections let me know! Are you in Anchorage or the Valley or ?

I had the same problem with my son after we put him in a toddlers bed. He would tell me he didn't like sleeping in that bed, at 3, he told me you try it, so I sat down on the end and layed down, It was uncomfortable, very stiff, and not cozy. So I got him a small twin set, it was from a motor home, so smaler then a reg twin size. Sat it on the floor without a frame, got a cozy matterest pad for it and he was set to go, Oh yeah, he also had a bed buddy, he got his choose of which cuddle animal he wanted to sleep with. His crib had been next to my bed until age 2 until we moved into our house and being put in a room alone then having his crib taken away left him with an insurcure feeling.
He is 5 now and most nights he will crawl into bed with us, when asked why, he says, he don't like his bed, so now we are looking into the bunkbed desk set, hope to have it in a couple of months.
I have a king size bed, and he doesn't take up much room, and I know the cuddling days are going to change as he gets older and I am sure going to miss the nights of waking up to find him next to me all warm and soft.
My daughter is 35 and I really didn't realize how much I had miss out with her as a young mother.
Enjoy all the closeness you can with your little ones. not just for you but for them, I beleave my daughter grew up to be a warm loving women because that is what she recieved as a child. No one can ever take away our memories, and sometimes in life that is all we have, and it's wonderful.
Good Luck
I read the other replys, all are good, try them till you find what works best for you
BUT DON'T LOCK THE DOORS