Toddler Sleeping Upstairs, Parents Downstairs

Updated on September 28, 2011
T.G. asks from Aubrey, TX
12 answers

? For those with a two story with a master down and other bedrooms up. For those with toddlers when you put them to sleep do you leave their door open? Do you have a gate on the door or stairs? For those potty trained at night, do they have access to walk to the restroom on their own at night? I'm curious as to what other parents do and if I'm being too protective. My daughter is 2 and we crack her door at night and put a gate up at her door. We do not have a gate up on the stairs anymore. She has major anxiety about her room and I'm wondering if this is part of the reason. We put a potty in her room in case she wakes up and needs to go. Hubby was not comfortable with her wandering to the restroom on her own at night. She does not get into things and can go up and down the stairs by herself with no problems. Should we take the gate down?

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E.T.

answers from Dallas on

i never had a gate on my son's door or at the top of the stairs and never had an issue. I was the only one who ever tripped down(or up) the stairs. ;)

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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

I keep a gate at the top of the steps till my one son was 4, which made my daughter 5. We did put a small toddler potty upstairs because we do not have a bathroom upstairs only 3 bedrooms. But the reason we kept the gate up was because the kids didn't like their doors closed and my son (now 6) sometimes sleepwalks and we were conserned with him falling down the stairs. Which mind you he has done but only once about a year ago... luckily we were all just scared afterwared and he only ended up with a few scraps and bruses, but no broken bones.

As for getting into things in the bathroom - mine didn't at 2, but did start after that... and they have managed to over flow the sink and toilet a few times. Which 2nd story baths can do more damage then a 1st floor bath if they overflow something.

It is hard not being on the same floor, but I can't see sleeping on the 2nd and a kid on the 1st... so we are on the 1st and the 4 kids are on the 2nd. But they don't end up on the 2nd till they are nearly a year... even if they have to sleep in the livingroom or dinning room till they are a year.

Take care!

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S.P.

answers from New York on

I keep a gate on the top of the stairs because I feel she might be confused at night, even if she can manage the stairs during the day. I also have a monitor if I'm asleep downstairs, just in case she specifically calls.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Gate the top of the stairs and put a baby monitor in her room so that you can hear her when she gets up.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

i would not take the gate down just yet. Sounds like there are a lot of new things going on and she already has anxiety. It seems like kids with "stress" (new move to a house, new school, etc. ) are sleep walkers. Not saying your daughter is but what is safe durring the day in her awake state might not be so durring the night when she is barely awake or still asleep. I would keep the bathroom door shut and put a child guard on the knob. Better safe than sorry. So what if its too portective...she is only two. Its our job to be crazy protective until they are a bit older.

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L.C.

answers from Dover on

Oh, gosh!

I'm curious about the answers you get. I couldn't have begun to answer this one. I grew up in the land of the ranch style homes, so the first time I had stairs and babies I was a full-on freak show. Gates at the top, gates at the bottom, gates at the bedroom door, gates at any door they might happen to be in to keep them away from the stairs.

This is completely atypical of my parenting style in almost every other area. Well, except gas burners on the stove and babies. That one's rough too.

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

We have a split level and our kids are in the upstairs three bedrooms. They are 9 (boy), 6(boy, and 4(G.). Our 4yr old daughter has cerebral palsy and needs help getting to the bathroom on her own without her leg braces on, and when she wakes up, if I'm still downstairs, she just hollers that she is up. We have a baby monitor in her room so we can more easily hear whats going on up there. Otherwise we don't use gates, the kids all have permission to come down to our room at any time.

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

We never put the gate at their door but did have one on the top of the stairs to separate their rooms and bathroom area from the top landing of the stairs. We kept that there until the girls were both over 3 or 4. We did all that and all bedrooms are up......safety is our first priority. We got lights in the hall ways that are motion sensor so when one got up a light came on to show them the way and we could see someone was up.

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

When we lived in a 3 story house (tall row house), the 3rd story was the girls room... but they were 3 and 4 at the time, and loved having their own space! It was so great though, because there was NO reason any of their stuff should have been anywhere else in the house... I've never lived in a clutter free house until that one ;)

G.T.

answers from Redding on

I have a tenant that just recently put a screen door on the outside of her kids bedroom (saw this during one of our manager inspections). First time I'd seen something like that, I thought it was pretty genius. Her autistic 3yr old son is really rambunctious and had mastered the baby gate. She can lock it from the outside and the screen, so far, has been enough barrier to keep him in place yet she can hear him well and peek in on him when he is doing "in your room" time. She locks it at night, but can easily hear him if he calls out. She has him trained to know if the screen door is locked he is to stay in a play on his own or rest until she lets him out. She's had it up for 2 months now with much success. FYI

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K.S.

answers from San Antonio on

Generally, I would say that your daughter will be safe going to the restroom on her own and you may want to get her used to having the door closed, depending on your evening routine. I would invest in a more permanent gate that can be put somewhere besides in her doorway. My husband had heartburn putting screwholes in the molding where we secured the gate, but it has been an absolute relief to be able to trust that the kids are safely kept away from the stairs.

Our house is set up similarly and we have two young ones - age 4 and 2. The two year old is still in his crib and has shown no interest in climbing out so I will keep him in there as long as possible - he may be six before we switch him! With the four year old it was such a struggle to keep him in bed at night. We have a gate at the top of the stairs (actually in the hallway threshold before even venturing near the stairs). it is the more permanent kind that is screwed into the wall and latches securly. We are not concerned about safety with the stairs as the boys have not shown any interest in opening or climbing over the gate when it is locked (so far, anyway). Our problem with the potty trained older one has been with him standing at the top of the stairs calling out to us to go potty with him several times a night. He wanted company when he went to the restroom and then wanted to be tucked back into bed. This meant a long couple of months running up and down the stairs several times a night. He then moved to going potty by himself but still wanting to be tucked in. We are finally at the point where he goes by himself and tucks himself back in...of course, he still wakes me when he slams his bedroom door as he is going back in, but I will take it. We have always kept the boys' doors closed, save for a few days here and there when there have been nightmares or something to force us to keep them open. They go to bed at 8 on weeknights, so keeping the doors open would mean not doing much around the house after 8.

good luck!

L.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I think it's ok. Try it for a few days to see how she handles it. If she comes out of her room and won't go back, then you know she is not ready.

I would let her go choose a bed time buddy (Pref. a cuddly one) and assure her that "Pinky Pie" will be there for her when she gets scared, and tell her you are just outside the door. A pretty princess nightlight, or a moving one, like the homedics infant nightlight (moon and stars/Fish/Birds) might calm her fears, some of her favorite lullabyes softly in the background.

Hang in there. Try it for a bit and see how it goes. If all else fails, you can try again in a month or so.

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