Toddler Driving Me Crazy!!! HELP!!

Updated on September 12, 2008
J.S. asks from Bedford, TX
10 answers

I get my 21 month old son up in the morning at 6:00. I sit him on the couch with his breakfast and milk so that he can wake up and watch a cartoon for a few minutes before we have to leave. I start getting him ready at about 6:15 because we have to leave the house at 6:20. He now has got to where when I start changing his clothes and diaper he kicks, screams, cries and tries flipping over so that he can get away from me. This is now an every morning occurence. Talk about starting your day off to a bad start for the both of us. I literally work up a sweat trying to get him dressed. I change him on the couch so that he can continue to watch his cartoons so I know that it isn't because of that. My husband thinks that I need to get him up earlier but wouldn't that just add to his grumpiness? I already get him up at 6:00 every morning. He has also got to where he is really cranky in the afternoons after I pick him up. Last night while the rest of us was eating dinner he stood around the corner in the kitchen just screaming and crying and wouldn't come in there with us. He started out in his chair but all he did there also was scream and cry because he wanted out. HELP!!!! Why is he doing this and what should I do to make it better? I hate starting his and my days off by getting on to him because of his behavior.

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So What Happened?

Well I have tried several things that some of you have advised and so far nothing has changed. I have tried getting him up 15 minutes earlier so that he will have more time to wake up and so far this has not helped. This morning I tried taking him to his sitters still in his PJ's but that didn't work either. He goes to bed between 7:00-7:30 so I don't think it is because he is tired. Actually I think I have narrowed it down to him not wanting to leave the house in the morning. I was off work on Friday and over the weekend and everything was fine. This morning when he saw me putting on my socks and pants he actually started crying, screaming and was trying to take my socks off because he knows that means we are having to leave. He got upset and started screaming and crying when my husband started putting his clothes on also. He is always fine when we get to the sitters but the part before the sitters is what has been a struggle. Thanks for all of your advice and hopefully this is just a phase that will pass.

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M.L.

answers from Dallas on

My son would do the same thing. I've noticed now that if I leave off the TV completely in the morning, both kids just act much better. No distractions from what they're suppose to be doing... I did start waking up my son earlier, just about 10-15 minutes; but I also put him to bed about 10 minutes earlier. This way if something happened, we weren't both completely stressed out trying to get ready in 5 minutes and out the door. It gives him additional time to wake up and adjust to being awake. Keep routine is important. If my kids wake up, get dressed, brush and are ready to walk out the door and we have a few minutes, they MIGHT get to watch a couple minutes of TV, but this is generally maybe once a week... My family is TV junkies, just not in the morning anymore because it's too distracting in a crunch...

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with Julie about the tv. Try changing him before he watches tv and see.
He is throwing a fit because you aren't doing something he wants and he can't tell you. Tell him you understand that he is upset, ask why he is upset, and can he show you what he wants, etc.
Whenever either of my kids get really cranky and whiney, I know they are tired. They got upset when I couldn't understand them. If they threw a fit when all else fails, they went to time out or a corner until they were ready to behave. If it was from being tired, they took a nap or went to bed. Sometimes you just need a pity party, and I rock/rocked them until they went to sleep.

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A.W.

answers from Tyler on

I would suggest putting him to bed earlier, not sure what bedtime is now but apparently he is not getting enough sleep if he is getting really tired and cranky that early. Also - from experience, turn the TV OFF! Bad habit to start, hard habit to break. Saturday morning cartoons are plenty, we grew up on them. Spend your few minutes talking to him to let him wake up rather than letting him watch TV. You will both be in a much better mood and you will be surprised how much closer that makes your relationship as he grows older.

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D.N.

answers from Dallas on

I went through similar battles with my son. It turned out giving him choices worked best, and made it fun. I would definitely use the cartoons as a reward after he gets dressed. "Hey big guy, today something different, you are so grown up, you will pick your clothes, and if you get dressed with a good attitude, you can watch your cartoons! Now, do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt? (Two choices you are happy with) Ok, great! Do you want to wear jeans or shorts? Wow, you are so big!" This is a love and logic method that worked great with my son. I also agree with your husband that you have to take the rush factor out and rise earlier.

Best of luck, if your son is anything like mine, it will get much easier!!!

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

it almost seems like maybe he needs a bit more sleep at night. Also, your husband might have a point on the getting him up earlier thing. Try 10 minutes early and use that as some snuggle time while watching cartoons. He might be frustrated and upset because he knows your are "leaving" him. The extra snuggle time might help him transition a little better.

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C.H.

answers from Amarillo on

he is getting up very early are you sure hes getting enough sleep? 12 hours a day? How about if you don't get him dressed just take his clothes where ever you take him and ask them to dress him they probley would have a problem with it. Look at your schedule and make sure hes getting enough down time.

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hello J.,

make sure he is not eating foods that contain high fructose corn syrup. it took me a while to figure it out with my son. depending on the amount, it would be terror on steroids when I tried to change him or give him a bath. for some kids, it's chocolate. I wish you luck. also, how about you change him first thing when he wakes up. before tv, before anything? do it in a different room? change the setting. or can your husband do it for you? tell them at daycare only 100% juice or water only. ~C.~

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

I would also think he might be associating the sofa with where he eats. Since you always feed him his breakfast on the sofa and then he eats at play school, he might not be able to realize that the table is where he eats his dinner. You might try feeding him at the table for both meals in your home.

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

Another mom posted about bedtime-I have to say I agree with that one. We were putting my 21 m/o daughter down at 9 and she was acting like a total jerk in the mornings so we changed things up and put her down at 8. That's working MUCH better for us.

I think switching up the routine a bit kind of throws them off of whatever little streak they are on. My daughter gets in these little funks about different things (this week it's being strapped into her car seat to go home from daycare) and when I start noticing a daily pattern and I know it's something I can't live with, then I shake things up a bit so that we don't fall into a rut. Try putting him to bed earlier and do something different with your morning routine, like change locations for the breakfast/dressing activity. Like if he really enjoys his cartoons tell him he can watch it after he's dressed, etc. Or maybe get him dressed first thing when you get him up, you might be able to get that part out of the way while he's still semi conscious and it might be easier to get done, then hook him up with his breakfast & cartoons.

Haha, someone told me once that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I have to remind myself of this ALL the time with my toddler! Good luck!

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G.A.

answers from Tyler on

I believe part of it may be a phase. My son went through the same thing. We started giving him the option: he could change on the couch with cartoons on, or we could go in his room and change on the changing table with no tv. His choice. After a few times of going to his room to change, he decided it wasn't so bad getting dressed like a big boy.

We also quit trying to talk to him/comfort him during the fit. We just changed him and went on. When he stopped the fit, he got our attention.

My son is not a morning kiddo either, so like you, I do try to give him some time to "wake up".

Good luck to you, and remember, this too shall pass.

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