Time Out & Tantrums

My daughter is six now but when she would have her little tantrums in time out we would politely let her know that her time out does not start until she stopped her screaming and sat there quietly for her time. It would usually work do to the fact she sat there even longer when she started to throw a fit. Good luck!

OMG!!!
Are you living my life or what? First of all "Riddle me this" I say all the time. Secondly YES for me (and for you it seems) my children were ANGELS at 2. I thought we had dodged a bullet! lol And after that, sometimes it was like watching a child possessed! IMHO I think a child should be left until the fit stops. I also found it helpful to not play into it. I would put my son(s)in a time out if necessary and walk away, peeking in on them without their knowing. And if they threw a fit i would calmly explain to them that the time out was for X amount of minutes for whatever "crime" they commited but that if they did not stop with the fit it would continue until they stopped. I know that you do not know me, but all 3 of my sons are either almost a teenager or are a teenager and believe me @ 2 1/2, 3 and so on they understand what you are saying. Good Luck again.

I always make my son's time start over when he acts out in time out. Sometimes it seems like it takes FOREVER! I believe the main thing is being consistent with whatever rules you impart from the beginning. Talk to him about the consequences of acting out in time out at a time when he's being good so that in the heat if it, you can simply remind him about your conversation.

Hi J.! I am a 22 year old mother of a 3 year old boy. He has been through the same thing and still does it every now and then when he is very mad. I leave him in time out unitl he stops. He started off by crying everytime he was put in time out. He was told when he could dry it up and sit there and think about why he was there then he could get up. He has for the most part stopped the crying and tantrums. Now the problem is he always ask if he can get up. We are trying to teach him that he doesn't ask and when he can sit there without asking then we will let him up.
Also, he turned 3 in march. I haven't really had any problem with him acting out. But if your son is in daycare just watch out for some of the things that he says. I don't know where he hears somethings, but that is my best bet. I am shocked sometimes at the things he comes up with.

I don't know if it's Super Nanny politically correct, but I also have a 2 1/2 year old who at times will do that and I tell him his choice is to sit there and quit hitting or yelling or he will be sent to his room by himself...I've done this once or twice and left him in his room (with the monitor on) for 10-15 minutes, then go up and talk to him and let him come down....i've only had to do this once or twice and the next time he yelled in timeout, I gave him that choice and he calmed right down. good luck!

WEll this is what I would do, I would leave him there for that two minutes. I would keep him there for the screaming and hitting. I watch nanny 911 and what they did was they left them there for the time that they needed to be punished for. I think when he is screaming and kicking he just wants your attentention; I think he thinks if I do this she will let me out sooner. I hope I can be in some what a assistance to you! HOPE and WISH YOU WELL! S. C.

Hi J.,

I agree with the previous poster who said I made them calm down before the itme out started. I would put them in time out and tell them, "your time out starts as soon as you calm down". Usually worked pretty well. I also will extend time outs if they act up during the time out.

I heard it was the terrible twos and the trying threes. That's the way it was around here. Good luck! It gets easier.

My husband and I tell our son that he has to sit there until he can stop screaming or whining. Once he sits there for a minute or two, being quiet, we let him up. It requires you to be consistent and make him understand that he can get up if he is quiet. Since your son is only 2 1/2, maybe you could start out letting him up if he is quiet for 30 seconds. Then you could slowly increase the time. Just don't give in and let him up when he is screaming, because he will scream louder and longer next time. Hope this helps. J.

Im going to tell you something that will change your life! NO REALLY! I also have a 2 1/2 year old. I was at a Dr. Appt. When I seen this mom and her son. He started to act up and all she said was..."Thats one!" I told her to tell me her secret... Its a book Called 123 Magic.. I bought it and IT WORKS! Trust me on this. So now when My kids starts actin all nuts all I have to say is.."Thats ONE" and he stops! GET THE BOOK!! Good luck!

The main reason for a time-out is to get the child to calm down and relax enough to be able to come back and play (eat, whatever). So while the minutes-per-years-of-age is a guideline, it is just that. If the child is not calm after the two minutes are up, make him wait until he is, telling him he may not get up until then. Speak to him soothingly and reassuringly, not yelling or stressed out.

The threes can be terrible too, but in a different way. The twos seem to be more about tantruming and "no" while the threes are about asserting one's independence, which can be even more frustrating for both child and parent. Just remember to offer a LOT of choices, about everything, at this age. (Like, do you want to walk upstairs or do you want me to carry you, when going upstairs is really not a choice, etc.) HTh

J.,
I can't remember how old my daughter was when we started this, but it is now my favorite. Time out does not start until you are quiet. Sometimes she screamed and cried for 30 minutes, but for me the purpose of the time out is thinking time and to get the behavior under control. If the child is still screaming he/she is not under control.
Good Luck and STICK WITH IT!
P.

with my older son, when he was around 2,3 and could understand what 'timeout' meant. We reminded him that he needed to sit calmly for every how many minutes he was old at the time before he was allowed to exit timeout. And when we saw compliance, we'd let him know, ok you have __ minutes starting now. However, there is a balance to it. There's not much insight or rational in a 2 year old!!! So - we practiced hard at it, never allowing him to sit in timeout double the minutes of his age. The main thing is that he/she SITS, that in itself you should applaud yourself for!!! Expecting that he/she would get mad that they're in trouble is a given, with time they'll learn that the key to timeout is taking a break, realizing what their 'no-no' was and then apologizing for it. When our oldest was 4, and he'd pitch fits like you see on Super-Nanny, we did put him in his room and shut the door, we'd stand outside the door until he was calm, then once calmness began, we started timeout, unfortunatly at 4, sometimes this lasted 20-25 min!!! good luck!!!

I just want to mention that many mothers, myself included, find that logical and natural consequences are far more effective, in the long run, than arbitrary punishment. I could go on for days about these things, and have, but I would really like to suggest a second book for you and very much hope you're willing to check it out.

Kids Are Worth It! by Barbara Coloroso.

I have a degree in child development, worked as a teacher for years, and read parts of this book with my mouth hanging open. It lit so many light bulbs and made me realize so much as a parent that I now tell everyone about it. An alternative is "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn (I think that's right). I've been told it's strikingly similar.

What it comes down to is that good discipline is teaching and that behavior modification (arbitrary reward and punishment) actually involves very little actual teaching. The books explain it so much better!