16 Month Old Tantrums

If she throws a tantrum, walk away (find a place where you can have a good view, out of her sight!) . "When you calm down, I'll come back." If she doesn't have an audience, her tantrum will become pointless for her. Don't forget that if you are telling her "No", you are also trying to distract her with something that she "can" do.

As far as teething, if you think it is that, you can test it by giving her some tylenol and seeing if her disposition changes. If you definitely know it is teething without doing that, you may be going through a lot of holding - no one cuddles better than Mommy (I'm biased!) ! You won't get as much done in a day but, this will only be a phase, she may even be anticipating a change in the household, depending on how far along you are. Good luck.

Teeth have nothing to do with tantrums. Tantrums are about control...getting something they want.

If she starts a fit, just say "come see Mommy when you are done with your fit", and walk away. Absolutely no attention should be given. Sneak a peak to make sure she's OK, but soon the fits will subside.

You have gotten some really great advise! I agree with the mom that said to sit her on the floor and move everything out of the way. My youngest was a head banger during his tantrums. I knew to ignore this behavior. One evening during dinner he started. I picked him up and put him in the other room and walked back to the dinner table. Moments later I heard a crack, like an egg but much louder. He had decided to head bang on the linoleum (we were on a slab). He ended up with a goose egg on his forehead so I took him to get it checked out just in case. My pediatrician said to just move him to the carpet next time. Luckily, there were only a couple more after that. No audience = no tantrums!

It's normal.

Ignore them.

Seriously, sit her on the floor and clear away toys/objects and let her do her thing. The more attention you bring to it, the more intense and dramatic the tantrum becomes (I speak from experience with my 2 year old!). Don't say anything to her, don't look at her, don't get upset or angry, just sit there silently like you're bored out of your mind. Pick up a magazine, book, tv guide, whatever and flip through it as if you're not paying one bit of attention in the world to her theatrics. No audience = no tantrums. It will eventually stop.

Continue to encourage her to use her words to ask what she wants or to express her feelings. A large majority of the time, tantrums at your daughter's age are all about frustration because they cannot articulate their wants. After they turn 2, the tantrums become all about "Why won't you let me watch 1400 episodes of Thomas in one afternoon?".

Good luck to you!

Yes, it is normal. She is beginning the terrible twos...which really start around 1 1/2 y.o. I would look up terrible twos and find strategies to help with the tantrums. It stinks but we all go through it!

Hi S.,

I don't know if it's normal, but I'm going through the same thing with my 14 month old. I hope someone has some good suggestions because the tantrums can last for 5-10 min.

If she is teething, try Humphrey's. Its an all natural teething reliever and you can buy it at Walgreens. It comes in pellet form and little melt-in your mouth strips (which I reccomend!) It seems to work immediately.

Welcome to the terrible twos. Give your daughter a break. It is very painful for several teeth to all come in at once. Her teeth are very sharp, and its like daggers to the gums. Give her some relief by buying some teething mediacation in any Target or Walmart and put them on her gums. Also, there are no rules when terrible twos come. Both of my boys were early on terrible twos and threes. It is a time when she is testing you too. wait until her teeth come in and if her behavior is still acting up,either set her down for a nap or be firm.

Yes it's normal and nothing out of the ordinary for all children to try a temper tantrum once in awhile at various ages. But in my opinion, you shouldn't tolerate it. They will most likely out grow them eventually if you do nothing, but some don't. Nothing worse than a large child throwing a tantrum or an adult even.

I always told mine from the beginning that tantrums aren't allowed and I would not listen to it. I carry my little ones to their crib and tell them in strong, firm terms that I will come get them when they stop screaming. When they calm down, I go get them and kiss on them and tell them that's much better.

My second child was pretty stubborn and I would have to go back once or twice and remind her why she was in her crib....Very firmly I would tell her when she stops screaming she can come out.

I've only had one incident in public with my oldest. And though many would think I'm a mean mommy, I spanked her. I tried to reason with her, I spoke to her, I left the area to go home, and when I put her in the car she kept screaming and tried to buck out of the seat...well that was it. I took her out of the car, spanked her little bottom, and told her firmly she would sit in her seat. She immediately stopped screaming, let me put her in her seat, and then she pulled her blanket over her face and eventually went to sleep.

She never pitched a tantrum again. I only had to remind her what happened before when she pitched a tantrum and she would stop.

She's six now and since school started, she has tried on a few occasions to stomp her feet or sit on the floor and pout...I've talked to her about this and explained that it is the same as a tantrum and I won't tolerate it. She's had to spend the afternoon in her room twice since kindergarten started for big kid tantrums. Lately I only need to remind her it isn't acceptable and she will straighten up.

We always talk about what is upsetting her, but I don't relent when I've made a decision...she just has to accept my decision.

It works for the two girls...we shall see if it works with my son who is 10 months old. No tantrums yet.

my 10 month old won't let me put him down when he's teething. that's how i know he's really teething hard. it usually lasts about a few days to a week and then he's back to normal. i hope that's what this is for you!

This is what I did for my daughter who showed the same symptoms:

For teething, these work (find them at Walgreens): http://www.hylands.com/products/teething.php

For tantrums, my daughter started showing signs of frustration -- I think she wanted some control as she was become more aware. If you can, try slowing down the processes. If you are going to let her down, tell her she is going to be put down and find an activity to engage her on the ground. Sit on the ground with her and get her adjusted before moving to the next step.

Also right around this time, my daughter did better feeding herself than being fed. She devoured finger foods and made huge messes!

I hope this helps ...

When my kids had a sudden behavior change I always first considered if they were feeling bad just like you have referred to with her teething. Even if she is teething or not feeling well you can't hold her all day anyway.

I think at 16 months you can expect tantrums. If she is tantruming I would not pick her up while she is doing that. When she stops don't refer to it and reinforce anything she does that is more appropriate. If she asks for something with a motion or word say, "I love your big girl talk etc"

Sometimes second children are more persistent and prone to this than first kids (I have found). Avoid using the single word "No" because that is an automatic trigger. If she is doing something dangerous or inappropriate try to distract her or redirect her to something more appealing and fun.

Good luck. A.

Although my son just turned 2 we are going through this now. We used to have meltdown temper tantrums many times a day and I tried to just ignore them and walk away, but that didn't really worked. What did is I picked him up and took him in his room and set him on his bed. I told him when he was done crying/screaming he could come out. Since I did that I've only had to take him to his room a couple times.

I disagree with the response that teeth have nothing to do with tantrums. My son acts up with tantrums almost always when he doesn't get enough sleep and when this happens it can be about anything. Your daughter may be doing this also -- and not getting enough sleep because of her teeth. Try the teething relief medicines and try to get her more sleep.

S.
Teeth are a tricky thing in one child they will get a mild fever in another the pain can be overwhelming. All this is hard to figure out when our little ones can not articulate their needs or pains so fits and tantrums ensue... If it is pain you can give a frozen washcloth to chew on or try a homeopathic teething remedy or other over the counter pain management treatment. Fits are a natural reaction when things are not going her way so hang in there. Also is your belly already showing? She could be already noticing a shake up into her life. Good luck.
J.

Hi,

My 16 month daughter is kind of going through the same thing. One moment she is happy the next it is a fit of crying tantrums that end up with her scream in my ear. This goes on at least three times a day.

I took her to a dentist last week and we discovered she is getting in a lot of teeth and she is teething really hard. The odd thing about our daughter is she no longer wants teething rings, cold wash cloths or frozen wash cloths. And her eating is down to a minimum. I give her cool water and the helps as well as the homeopathic teething remedies and she seems to calm down. I also, have been teaching her to brush her teeth and that provides some relief and at the same time I can check her mouth for new teeth coming in so, I know where to rub the gel.

Good luck.

I'm there with ya! :) My 17 mos. is going thru this too. If nothing is bothering her, she is the sweetest, funniest little child, but in the past week, she's been a different child! In our case, I know she's teething, her appetite is down & she's chewing on everything she can get in her mouth. Because of this reason, I do hold her when she wants me too, I know it is soothing to her to do that. As far as the tantrums, as the other Mom said, I just ignore them, as long as she isn't doing anything to harm herself. If I raise my voice, it makes them worse & she gets more irritated. My daugther isn't talking alot either, so I think some of the tantrums are due to her frustration in not being able to tell me what she wants. I say, let them do their thing, they will see their not getting any attention from acting out that way & it will stop.

That's when my child starting having tantrums. Discomfort with teeth, tiredness, hunger and not being able to verbalize desires make it hard for kids that age. My son always did it in the evening after daycare.

I held him, distracted him and nursed him (not everyone has that option). You might try wearing her in a baby carrier. I have a Catbird Baby mei tai and an Ergo. Both are very comfortable. The nearness of you is very comforting.

This stage passes. Just make sure to be loving.