This Boy Won't Eat

I am glad that the trick Beth told you worked, I used to do in home daycare for a family of 3. One of the twins, 4 at the time, would do that. After some LONG lunches and explaining to his mother he just wouldnt eat, she took him to the doctor and found out he was anemic and had thrush on top of it. Once this was taken care of he ate perfectly fine. Another thing could be his bowel pattern, how often does he have a BM? The little boy mentioned above had a constipation problem from all the milk his mom would give him to offset the food he wasnt eating...if his bowels are not normal that could be another reason he is not eating, most children do not eat if they have to poop.

Hi L.,
Just wanted to share a point of view - by no means the only one you'll get on this issue. I believe you can't make a child (of any age) EAT, SLEEP, or POTTY. You just can't MAKE them do it and, it's not our job as parents/caregivers. Our job is to offer our children healthy choices/boundaries and let them choose (this covers ALL areas of parenting). There are consequences for the wrong choice but you want them to learn to make healthy choices while they are still little (if I don't eat lunch, I don't get a snack later) rather than when they are teenagers or adults when the consequences are much steeper.

Kids respond to attention/reinforcement. So, if he is getting attention and reinforcement (positive or negative) for NOT eating, that is what he is going to continue to do. Unfortunately, it is probably a power struggle that you are losing. Is he going to waste away and die? Probably not.
Also, remember that a child's stomach is the size of a walnut so their serving sizes are sometimes one or two bites of something - really.

As the caregiver, you should gain consent from the parent before you do this but I think you should ignore, ignore, ignore. Offer him his plate and then just make pleasant conversation (non-eating related, like the weather :) )with them while they eat - or don't eat. At a certain point, lunch is done, if he hasn't eaten, it really is his deal, not yours. If he wants a snack because he's hungry later in the day (and it's not a usual snack time) then the answer is no. He may tantrum or whatever (power struggle #2). Or, some parents offer fruit for a snack for non-lunch eaters instead of Teddy Grahams or whatever. He still is young to understand some of this but you are setting the foundation for him living within healthy boundaries.

Also, ask yourself why it bothers you so much that he doesn't eat. Is it you can't stand to throw the food away? Start him out with half the portion then. Is it that he just isn't doing what you want him to? Welcome to the world of parenting! A great question to ask ourselves when dealing with our kids (or relatives for that matter) is Whose problem is this? Are YOU hungry when HE doesn't eat? If not, let him be. It won't hurt him - you are not abusing him.

If his parents are not open to you creating an atmosphere that you both can live with then it is time to stop watching him. Your stress over eating IS felt by the child and I wouldn't want to be dropping my child off somewhere that I knew he was causing problems.

Good luck!!!

It's called "pocketing" when you 'pocket' food in your month. And yes, they an keep it there for seeming unreasonable duration. Hopefully he's just being willfull and going thru a phase.

I suggest you and his mom track for several days exactly what he eat and drinks and the quantities in a 24 hour period- see if it is a particular food he's doing it too - or maybe a particular time of day. You may uncover a trend - like it is a particular food or time of day where he is like this, or just after nap time - and at least that way you can be sure he's gettin enough food. Once you know this you can decide on your strategy. It may be because his teeth hurt and he doesn't want to chew so he's trying to disolve the food. Who knows?

If he iesn't eating the finger foods but does eat the cereals with you then why not give him those types of food? There is not law that says he has to switch. And if he does it nicely for mom and not you - then why not humor him and let him do it the way he is 'asking' with eac of you? Eventually, he'll grow out of it. My pediatrician always reminded me "kids/baby havn't read the books, so they don't know how they are 'supposed' to behave."

My little girl stopped eating because she has 'silent reflux' and she always had an unpleasant situation after eating so she just didn't want to eat.

Good luck

My son used to hold food in his mouth as well. The doctor found no medical reason for it. It turned out just to be a phase. However, he should be checked for a sore throat and/or a stomach virus just to be sure. Try giving him smaller portions, no more than he can fit in his mouth at once, and cutting the food into smaller pieces.

I was just reading that this is a normal behavior for infants and toddlers, not that it makes it ok, or less frustrating, but it is normal. I agree with the last advice, put food in front of him, if he is hungry, he will eat.

I'm so very sorry- I don't have any advice for how to fix this, but know you're not alone. My niece did the same thing-she started it much later though (around two years) I'm pretty sure she just stopped doing it. I know my sister in law just put her to bed if she wasn't eating. I guess you can't really do that at lunch time, but maybe just let him get down and quit eating. Don't stress yourself out over it, he will eat when he needs to. If he's not doing it at home, he's not starving. Give him a couple bites, if he doesn't eat give up!
(What a quitter I am, huh?) good luck!
Jenny

Hello, my thirteen month old does this on occasion. It is mostly with things that he can't handle to get down. He will look like he has nothing in his mouth and we will go to give him another bite or he will go to put another one in his mouth and there will be a big chunk on his tounge or in his cheeck. I am not really sure why he is doing this. It is not because he does not like the item, he spits those out. What we have been doing it taking the piece(s) out and starting him over again. And then he will go for a bit again before something does not go down.
Maybe try some yogurt or applesause to get him started eating and then every couple of bites toss in a solid piece? We have done that often. Cottage cheese as a lead with somthing behind it has been working for us.
I hope this is even the slightest bit helpful.

I worked a inhome daycare where there was a girl around the same age pretended to be a picky eater and throw food.

I would put one item of food on his tray or on the table when it's gone add more. I wouldn't put an entire plate of food in front of him. Put a few pieces or one piece. If he doens't eat, he doesn't eat. You can't make him eat he has 100% control over this. Maybe if its not a big deal and noone makes it a big deal and you kinda ignore the part where he holds food in his mouth.Don't take it personal if he isn't eating much or is holding food in. If he's hungry he will eat or will eat when he get's home all you can do is TRY. I can completely understand your frustration, it's time consuming and wasting food.

My Son did this around this age too, and Im unsure why.He would end up throwing up if I didnt scoop it out of his mouth and let me tell you it was the grosest thing I had to do as a parent.For my Son I think that he was just full and even though he liked the food he just was done eatting he just decided that alittle too late and rather than spitting it out he would just hold it in there. He has always been a little weird about food.He did grow out of it by around 2.

Anyways the only advice I can give you is to give this behavior absolutly NO responce other than to provide for his health and safety by removing the food if it has been there for a long period of time, and making sure he is not eating "on the run" alway place him at the table to be watched. Kids do some weird stuff, its not an extension of you its just a way for parents to stay on their toes!