Teenage Son Not Wanting to Talk!

It's an uncomfortable topic for anyone. I think it's a normal reaction on his part. I wouldn't take offense. My mother's solution to this problem was to talk in the car. There was no eye contact and no one could go anywhere. She did it with all four of her kids. It wasn't until I was older that I realized what a genius move this was on her part. Wait a little while and then gently bring it up when you are alone in the car. If he has a good relationship with his father or your fiance, he may feel more comfortable talking to them.

I find sitting down to have a "talk" with my son makes him feel awkward. If I get him involved doing something with me, especially in the kitchen, helping prepare a meal or something and just let the conversation flow naturally, then pepper a few questions in or ask if he has any questions then it goes better, but I also respect his wishes if he says Hey mom...that is personal I drop it. I also know what days are good days or bad days, no way am I going to start a third degree on a day he is already crabby and hormonal and YES boys have these days too = ) Good luck!

I have a fabulous relationship with my son and he does NOT want to have me talk to him about this stuff either. But I want to make sure that the school's informaiton is not all that he's getting. I want to instill our values in his heart & mind - my husband will never do that. So when we are driving in the car and are not looking at each other I'll broach the subject - he'll put his fingers in his ears and begin to hum or make noise - but he evntually does listen. I can't squeeze it all in to one talk, however, so I'm in the process of getting it into small bites of information. I think if that eventually fails I'll try to write notes to him - that way he'll hear my heart but won't have to hear my voice or look at me and feel embaressed. A positive of this is that he can refer back to it. Also - consider a good book that falls in line with your family's values. We are pretty conservative Christians - although realistic. I will be going to the online Christian bookseller to find a small book or two for his future reference.

Good luck! This is a tough age and it only gets more difficult for a while.

I know your heart is in the right place but I don't think a boy that age wants to have THAT conversation with his mom. I'd get him a really good book on the subject, leave it in his room with a note letting him know you're available if he wants to talk or has questions.

Let it go for now. He's probably feeling pressured to talk to you - put on the spot, hormonal etc. I would throw some humor into the mix. Say "You know the 'subject that we are not discussing' (and do air quotes), if you have questions and/or statements regarding this 'non subject' (again air quotes), I'm here and always will be and I know pretty much everything on this 'subject'.
Then don't bring it up for awhile, weeks or a month. Then casually mention something while watching tv or whenever - "How's the 'subject' going? Any ques or concerns?"

Well momma he at that age where he is trying to find himself. Go and get him a book so that he can read up on what is going on. Also have your fiance talk with him kind of "man to man".

Sometimes kids feel shy or awkward about talking to mom about these things. Don't push the issue just be there to support him. He will come around or at least ask questions later on.

Welcome to the teen years and self-identity. He will test you and stretch his wings at the same time. Just remember how you felt about things at that age back in the day. Now you will have to change your relationship to a kind of friend but still mom thing.

Good luck. This phase doesn't always last until the end of high school but it is a rite of passage.

The other S.

Hello! Nope, sorry - i cannot relate...we've openly talked to our boys about the facts of life from the time they were small...

We've had to correct some of the things they "learn" in school...so you can tell your son that the school is not perfect and can make mistakes...ensure that he understands your morals and values and that he is abiding by them...

It's a tough time - the hormones start raging and it takes self-control - it will happen - but he still needs your guidance....DO NOT go quietly!!! Tell your son how much you love him and expect from him and his life...that you are not going to just go away....

GOOD LUCK!!

Sounds like a good time for a trip to the bookstore to find a book that presents this stuff in a way that is in line with your viewpoints, and interesting to a young teen. Then give him the book, or leave it in an easily found location.

There might also be some videos you can find on the subject, if he's not a reader. But make sure you preview it first! :)

Good luck. I have a 19 year old...he's starting to be willing to talk to me about stuff again, but for a while there it was kinda dicey.

would you have wanted to talk to your dad about vagina's and periods and boobs growing and all that? of course not LOL It was awkward enough talking to our MOM's about this stuff.

Give him a little space and let him know you'll always be there for him if he has any questions. If your fiance and/or his dad is open to it ... let him know they are there for questions also.

He'll come to you when he's comfortable with the questions and answers. As long as there's a reasonable adult to help him with questions it'll be all good.

I have an 18 year old and 13 year old boy. Trust me ... the LAST thing they want to talk to their parents (mom's especially) about is sex and their bodies. Although both my boys have been more willing to talk to their dad than me. And we have an extremely close and open relationship. Just don't push to hard. Try to keep the conversations in the car ... if you go that route ... brief and casual.

Good luck :)

There are several good books about body changes in boys that might help bridge the gap. Go your library and ask the librarian for help (or ask on here for suggestions; I've seen some titles named, but can't remember any of them off hand). Do skim through/read the books before you share them, to make sure you're comfortable with how they handle the subject.

Then, you can do the talking in the car thing/talking while busy doing other stuff so you not looking at each other thing on top of that.

Are you surprised that he doesn't want to talk to you about it?!?! First of all you are a woman, and second you are his mom! How uncomfortable.

Maybe it would be better not to make it so formal, a "talk". Just little by little, and naturally let things come up. Don't force it because the relationship you have with your son before this teen years will probably not be the same during his teen years. Good luck!

Oh back off mama! Can you imagine your dad wanting to talk to you about your period? Ick, right? That's what he's thinking. If you're in a decent public school system, they've already covered this, probably 2-3 years ago. Honestly you're way behind if you're trying to talk to him about puberty. Assume he's already figured out what he needs to know from health class at school and his friends and leave him alone.

What you will need to be able to talk to him about is your family values regarding dating and relationships. School can teach him about puberty, pubic hair, wet dreams, erections, hygiene, voice changes, growth spurts, acne, body odor, etc. They will also cover the basics of reproduction and, depending on where you live, birth control. They will teach them that no means no and dating violence is not OK, about sexting and using the internet. It will be up to you to open the lines of communication about what you expect regarding what is OK and at what age regarding relationships and sex. Things like hickeys, "feeling up" and oral sex happen way earlier that you think, and those are the conversations you need to have early.